


Forever is good

by trashy_kai



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Bad Boy Castiel, Bullying, Domestic Violence, High School, Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, Non-Consensual Violence, Oral Sex, Protective Benny, Protective Bobby, Protective Castiel, Protective Gabriel, Protective Sam Winchester, Romance, Violence, blowjob
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-18
Updated: 2015-07-31
Packaged: 2018-01-02 00:39:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 34
Words: 87,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1050463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashy_kai/pseuds/trashy_kai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Instead of Dean being the jock and Cas the nerd, it's the other way around. Dean has a crush on Cas who is a popular kid in their High School. Dean has to take care of little Sammy and he is constantly mocked at school just for being a nerd.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Paper Balls

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I asked on tumblr for ideas for a fic, and ciabattabatched gave me this idea. I hope you like it! Please let me know if you do like it (or if you hate the it)

Chapter 1 – Paper Balls

"Come on! Let's go!" One boy said as he raced down the hallway.

Dean looked at them. He had just avoided a group of people that would make his day as bad as one could imagine. He sighed and continued walking to his classroom.

His day was just in the middle. He still needed to go to History class and then go to work. He usually just worked at Bobby's Repair Shop, but today he promised he would also help Jo with her mother's bar "The Roadhouse". He was going to serve tables and earn a few more dollars. He needed the money and Jo needed the help, so he offered himself to go.

He walked down the hallway and entered his classroom. He sat in his usual spot, near the front row and started getting his books out.

The teacher walked in and he paid close attention.

"Good afternoon class! We're going to talk about Napoleon. Who knows who Napoleon was?" Mr. Lafitte asked.

No one was going to answer and the teacher looked around the room for someone to ask.

"No one? How about… Mr. Winchester?" He asked, with an encouraging smile.

Dean gulped. He didn't like participating in class. He already was mocked for his clothes and way of being, he didn't need to be mocked because he was cleaver too. But, Mr. Lafitte had always been kind to him, so he answered him.

"Napoleon Bonaparte was a French emperor who tried to take over the world." He said as simply as he could.

Mr. Lafitte nodded.

"That is correct. Do you know anything else about him?"

Dean was trying so hard. He didn't want to be mocked… Not again, but he couldn't lie to Mr. Lafitte.

"No, sir. He was made commander of the French army in Italy, where he forced Austria and its allies to make peace, in 1796. In 1798, Napoleon conquered Ottoman-ruled Egypt in an attempt to strike at British trade routes with India. He was stranded when his fleet was destroyed by the British at the Battle of the Nile. Napoleon returned to Paris where the government was in crisis. In November 1799, Napoleon became first consul. In 1802, he was made consul for life and two years later, emperor. He tried to invade England but failed." Dean said as quietly as possible.

Mr. Lafitte beamed.

"That is correct, Mr. Winchester. You should speak more often!"

The class continued and about five minutes later a few of his classmates started calling him.

"Winchester… Hey! Winchester!" They were speaking in a tone that was a bit bellow whispering. They were being as quiet as they could. Mr. Lafitte couldn't stand people talking in his class.

And Dean knew that. Which is why he has no idea why he looked at them.

"What?" He said quietly.

"Mr. Winchester… Do you wish to tell me why you can't concentrate on my classes?" Mr. Lafitte was now near Dean's sit.

"I'm sorry… I thought I heard my name being called." He tried to apologize.

"Even if the pope was calling you that wouldn't be a good excuse to not pay attention in my class!"

Dean shivered in his seat. He didn't want to cause trouble. He always tried to avoid trouble but trouble seemed to like him quite much.

"I'm sorry sir. It won't happen again." He tried to get out of trouble.

Mr. Lafitte nodded.

"It better not happen again."

And so he continued talking about Napoleon and how he tried to take over the world.

About five minutes later, a ball of paper hit the back of Dean's head.

Just ignore it. Come on Dean, just ignore it.

And he was doing just fine, until the third paper ball hit him.

He turned his head and glared at the back of the classroom.

"Mr. Winchester, I take you know what I'm talking about too well, and that is why you keep turning back."

Shit.

Dean turned to look at Mr. Lafitte.

"I'm sorry sir." He said sheepishly to Mr. Lafitte.

But the teacher was having none of it.

"This is the second time you're not paying attention in my class today, Mr. Winchester. I suggest you leave now, and come back next period."

Dean sighed. At least he wasn't going to detention.

Time seemed to pass faster, once Dean got outside his classroom. He found himself a quiet place and took his history book outside. He started by reading what they were talking at class, and soon he was doing what he assumed Mr. Lafitte was going to ask them to do for homework.

It's not like Dean liked to study. In fact he didn't like it all that much, but he needed to. He wanted to open his own business someday, and he was only going to get it if studied hard enough.

What seemed too soon for Dean, seemed to take an eternity to rest of his classmates. The class ended and everyone started gathering outside, so Dean took the chance and entered the classroom again.

He waited until every colleague of his was gone to address Mr. Lafitte again.

"Sir, I'm really sorry about that…" Dean started.

Mr. Lafitte sighed and interrupted Dean.

"I know you are Dean. And you know I want to help you. That's why I sent you outside. They were throwing paper balls at you again, weren't they?"

Dean lowered his head.

"Yes." He whispered.

"You can't let them get to you, Dean. You can't fight back if you can't ignore them first." Mr. Lafitte had always been the one teacher that seemed to realize what his students did to Dean, and once he figured it out, he approached Dean and told him to ignore them. After that, he started trying to make the others believe he hated Dean and because of that he didn't want to even listen to him. He did the best he could to protect Dean.

"I know… And I tried!" Dean said exasperatedly. "But when the third ball hit me I lost it!"

"You need to practice your patience… Why don't you come by my place one of these days? I can help with that…" Mr. Lafitte offered.

Dean smiled softly.

"Thank you, sir… But I don't think that will be necessary."

"If you need someone to teach you to fight, you know where you can find me!" The teacher said, as Dean sat on his spot again.


	2. A very bad working afternoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I no nothing about cars and how they work. Thank you for your kudos, bookmarks and subscribes! I hope you enjoy this chapter! ^^ I'm gonna try and post a chapter twice a week. Maybe on Mondays and Fridays... We'll see! :D  
> Follow me on tumblr: sofknowseverything.tumblr.com and blowing-dean.tumblr.com

Chapter 2 – A very bad working afternoon

He was late. Late for work, that is.

His boss was going to get angry at him… But not really. Bobby Singer once had been a good friend of John Winchester, and he because of old times' sake, he let Dean work at his mechanic salvage.

He ran his way down the street to find Bobby under a car.

"Sorry Bobby!" Dean said as soon as he got there. "Mr. Lafitte asked me to stay after second period."

"It's okay, idjit, but next time try to be here on time! These cars aren't going to fix themselves!"

Dean smiled fondly at Bobby. He liked Bobby. He was family. Bobby was there when everything went down and he was there to help Dean get everything get back together again. When Dean was four, his mother died in a house fire. His dad was too depressed to help his own kids –Sammy was just two years- get ready for the world. So Dean started becoming more and more like the Man of the house, while his father got the position of Drunk of the house. So Dean raised Sam, and helped him understand what life was about. He was both the father and the mother to Sam. John, still had his job, but he was drunk most of the time, so when the pay check got to him he would spend it on booze. When Dean was old enough, he begged Bobby to let him help at the car repair shop he owned, and the poor old man couldn't say no. He started to become part of their lives and soon they would ask him for help when their dad tried to steal Dean's money. Bobby was somehow their 'uncle' but he was also more than just that.

He got to work and soon he felt at ease again. He had always felt that when he was under the hood of a car.

Bobby told him he needed to go get something from the house, and let Dean alone in repair shop.

Dean was only working for a one more hour there and then he was heading to The Roadhouse.

While he was trying to change the oils of a car, a bell rang and so, he went to help the client.

As soon as he reached the door he stopped.

Shit. There were three guys from his school. He wasn't friends with any of them –in fact he was only friends with two people at school: Jo Harvelle and Charlie Bradbury- actually it was one of the guys from his English class.

"Is anyone where?" The taller one asked.

Dean gulped. He started walking towards them and stopped. They turned around to find Dean standing behind them.

The one with black hair smirked.

"Well, well, well… If it ain't Mr. Winchester who we have here…"

Dean was known in the whole school as Mr. Winchester. Why, you ask, thinking that he is just a nerd who doesn't have friends and is mocked more than anyone ever should. Because every single person in school who has classes with him gets him in trouble and the teachers always refer to Dean as 'Mr. Winchester' so that was how he was known in middle school, and that name has stuck with him ever since.

"Can I help you?" Dean asked trying to sound professional.

"Yes, in fact, I hope you can. My car isn't working. And I need it to work. So do your dirty little job and make it work."

"Of course." At least they weren't insulting him… Just the job.

He got to the job and started looking under the hood of the car. Everything was just fine with the car. That was except for the engine. There was a cable missing its usual place. He put it correctly and got to the boys again.

"It should be working now." He said quietly.

The owner of the car laughed.

"You heard that Alastair? It should be working now. Why won't you go try it, Alastair?"

Alastair laughed and grabbed the keys.

"Let's see if it is working." He got inside the car and turned the engine on. The car made a sweet purr and was working.

Dean smiled.

"See that, Crowley? It's working!" Alastair mocked.

Crowley grinned.

"Yeah it is… We need to head back now." He said as he started walking into the car.

"Hey!" Dean said, walking fast to grab Crowley's jacket. "Aren't you going to pay?"

The guys just laughed.

"Why would we pay you?" Azazel asked with malice in his tone.

Dean was getting angrier and angrier by the second. He did his job and now he wanted his money. It was simple as that.

"You have to pay me. I did my job, now it's your turn!" He said angry.

But the boys only laughed, and got inside Crowley's car.

"Come on!" He said to them, as they started the car and drove away.

You're such an idiot, Winchester! You should have known better!

Bobby decided to show up again and saw Dean standing there.

"I don't pay you to look around, you idjit." But when he reached Dean's side, he stopped. He saw how angry Dean looked. "What happened, boy?"

Dean's eyes met Bobby's.

"Some guys from school asked me to check their car and went away without paying."

Bobby seemed to understand. He patted Dean's back.

"We've got a camera, I'll report them to the police and they will pay, don't worry…"

Dean nodded, still angry at himself for not being able to make them pay for himself.

"This one is for table four." Jo told him.

He nodded and grabbed the food.

"Thanks Jo." He walked towards table four and gave the patrons their order. "Three burgers with chips and a salad, here you go."

He walked back to Jo, and rested his head on the wall that was behind her.

"You alright, Dean?" She asked him. "You are quite good at serving tables. If you want to come here and help me some more… You know where The Roadhouse is."

Dean smiled.

"Thanks Jo."

The door swung open and three guys entered. The sat in Dean's section so he moved there to attend them.

"Good afternoon, what will be your order?" Dean asked them.

"I want to eat chocolate mousse! And pie! And… do you have ice cream?" One of them asked.

Dean looked at the guys at the table and Dean recognized them as students from his High School. The one who talked, he recognized as Gabriel, one year older than Dean himself.

What's with everyone and coming my work place today?!

"There's only strawberry ice cream. What kind of pie do you want?" Dean asked, taking notes in his note pad.

Gabriel was thinking hard. He couldn't decide on just one.

"Apple… No! Blueberry! No! Cherry!" It was starting to be strange… Every kind of pie the guy said he took it back and choose a new one.

"Enough, Gabe!" The older one said.

Gabriel laughed.

"Sorry, Balthy… It's just… There are so many flavors! How can I choose just one?"

The one in the middle rolled his eyes.

"Just choose a damn flavor!" He told Gabriel.

"Ok, ok, Cassie! I'm choosing… Apple Pie! Gotta go for the traditional!"

Dean was chuckling a bit by now. He saw himself in Gabriel. Every time he had a hard time to choose a flavor. And in the end he would most likely choose Apple Pie.

But the boys didn't seem to think the situation that funny.

"Are we amusing you?" The middle one, the only and only crush Dean has, Castiel Novak, with an annoyed expression on his face.

Dean's smile turned into a deep blush.

"S-Sorry. What are you having?" He asked Castiel and Balthazar, embarrassed for taking the order of his crush.

"I want a cheese burger with chips." Castiel said.

Dean started taking notes again.

"And you?" He asked Balthazar.

"Oh, me… I want the same thing Cassie asked for."

"Alright…" Dean doubled that order. "What will you want for drinks?"

"I want a coke!" Gabriel said happily. "And I bet Cassie wants water."

Castiel nodded.

Dean looked at Balthazar expectantly.

"I want a coke too."

Dean checked the order and went away to get their food to be done. Then he went to get their drinks.

He walked back to their table and placed the drinks in from of them. Unfortunately one of the cokes slipped his hand and it fell on Castiel, when he was trying to place it in front of Gabriel.

"WHAT THE-!" Castiel complained… Very loudly.

"I-I'm sorry!" Dean apologized and tried to clean Castiel's shirt with a napkin.

"DON'T TOUCH ME! YOU'RE DOING EVEN WORSE! UGH!" And so he got up and walked away from The Roadhouse.

Balthazar and Gabriel were laughing.

"We're going to take the order home, if that's possible." Balthazar asked.

Dean was blushing hard and was very mortified. The first time he talked to his crush… And this happened. How could he hope to even get Castiel to notice him again?

"Yes. I'm so sorry!" He said lowering his head.

"Oh my God, Balthy! He's blushing!" Gabriel said and they laughed even harder.

Dean got away from their table as fast as he could.

He got their stuff and put them into some bags so they could take it home. He went for their table and –he learned with Crowley- before he handed them their food he asked for the payment.

"It's fifteen dollars."

The guys handed him the money and he gave them their food.

And so they left.


	3. Another day at school

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I previously said, I will start posting on Fridays and possibly Mondays, I'm not entirely sure I can always post twice a week, but I can try :D So, if I do post twice a week, I hope you will review everytime :3  
> I haven't really said anything about their ages, so here it goes: Dean is 15; Castiel is 15; Sam is 13; Gabriel is 16; Balthazar is 17; Charlie and Jo are also 15... If anyone else comes along and you want to know how old they are, just ask me! ^^ This story is a bit slow, so please don't give up on this story... I want to make it worth a while and I wanted a challenge, so I decided to take this story slow and make it as believable as possible... Now, please enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Follow me on tumblr: sofknowseverything.tumblr.com and hellaadestiel.tumblr.com

Chapter 3 – Another day at school

Dean didn't want to go back to school. He knew Crowley and his gang would be after him for telling the police they hadn't paid. He knew Castiel would be angry, and he had seen Castiel angry with other people before. It wasn't pretty.

Sam had school and Dean didn't want to let him go by himself. And he also needed to go to school because midterms were coming and he had some doubts about some subjects.

Sam and Dean walked to school -Dean couldn't drive yet… he was learning but he still didn't have his driving license- together. They parted ways when they reached different ways. Dean promised to walk with Sam back home.

And so he started walking to his own school. It was only a block away, but he wanted to be there early, so that he could avoid bullies. But his luck wasn't exactly the best luck. He had just stepped inside the school building when someone grabbed his shirt and shoved him to the wall.

Dean didn't have the time to think, he just acted by instinct. He closed his eyes and raised his arms so that he could protect his face.

"What? Mr. Winchester is scared?" It was one of the many people that usually greeted Dean by bullying him. Today the first one to do it was Gordon Walker.

The school hierarchy has always been a bit messed up. At the bottom were nerds and people like Dean that wore tattered clothes and tried to avoid everyone else. Above them were the people no one cared about, so they weren't mocked not did bully anyone. Then, there were only three more places. The third from the bottom was reserved for the clowns, people who were always pulling pranks on the others; The second was for bullies. And the first place was for the somewhat king of the school. The jock that made everyone shiver when they upset him. Everyone followed orders the King, there was some kind of a book that had some rules people had to follow. Dean didn't know about that when he got to his freshman year. He just showed up and did something against the rules… He became friends with a nerd *coughs* Charlie *coughs*. And so, he went to the bottom of the hierarchy. He already had a past in his last school where he was made fun of his clothes and for being way too attentive in classes… So one could say that his reputation pursued him.

The King of the school is the youngest Novak, Castiel. Everyone obeys to him, and everyone respects him. So naturally, Gordon and his little gang, Crowley and his little gang… Everyone and their little gang act under Castiel Novak's orders.

Think on the bright side, Dean… He has known you since forever! Dean thought to himself.

When Dean was going to take a breath he felt a punch in his stomach. He felt sick and his stomach hurt. He bent down when Gordon's fist touched him. As usual, Dean didn't make a sound. He knew that only made people enjoy beating him more and more if he started sounding weaker.

After a few more punches, Gordon let go of Dean.

Dean was getting ready for his PE class in the locker room when Castiel walked inside. Dean had just taken his shirt off and was looking for his school t-shirt on his locker.

Castiel walked past him, not even looking at him. Dean sighed, relieved that Castiel hadn't seen him.

But since Dean was alone in the locker room before, Castiel heard the sound of his sighing and looked at Dean.

After a few seconds of looking at Dean he recognized him.

"YOU!" Castiel yelled and Dean flinched.

Castiel didn't seem to notice Dean flinch because he got himself closer to Dean and yelled some more.

"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO RUINED MY SHIRT!"

Dean started to apologize.

"I am so sorry! The glass slipped my hand! It was an accident."

"Yeah… Me ruining your face is going to be an accident too!" Castiel wasn't yelling anymore, he was smiling mischievously.

-Again- By instinct he closed his eyes and tried to protect his face.

He waited for the hit. But it never came. When he opened his eyes, Castiel's blue eyes were looking at him with a frown.

"Are you really that scared of me?" He asked curiously.

Dean gulped. But didn't answer, he just lowered his face to avoid Castiel's gaze.

That seemed to make Castiel angry.

"ANSWER TO ME!" He yelled at Dean.

Again, Dean flinched.

"I'm scared of everyone at this school." He admitted in a barely audible whisper.

But Castiel heard it. He looked genuinely intrigued by that statement.

"Why is that?"

Dean looked up, so see Castiel's face tilt slightly. Cute. He blushed deeply at his thoughts.

Dean looked back to the floor.

"Because I formed the wrong friendships accordingly to the schools' guide book. I befriended a geek and because my reputation pursues me." He said very uncomfortably. He didn't like to talk to other people, especially about himself. And being there, standing in front of Castiel talking to him, about himself… It made Dean feel weird.

The head tilt was even more obvious now.

"What kind of reputation?"

Dean didn't want to answer, but he was scared of what Castiel would do to him.

"I'm a 'good boy' I work hard to get good grades, and I don't wear the nicest clothes one can have. So people like to get me in trouble…"

Castiel nodded in understanding.

"And that gives you a reputation?" He asked with a laugh.

Dean didn't know if Castiel was making fun of him or if was just amused by the situation… Either way he didn't want to piss Castiel off.

"I'm really sorry about your shirt…" Dean said again.

Castiel huffed.

"I had just bought that shirt. And I really liked it! Now the stain won't leave!"

"I can make coke stains go away. If you let me I can get your shirt cleaned." He just wanted Castiel to leave his personal space, he was still slightly afraid of him, and he didn't want to risk being too close to Castiel to the point of getting hit for being the closest 'thing' around.

"That's the least you could do." Castiel agreed, annoyed. "I'll get you the shirt tomorrow. And you better not make it worse!"

Dean nodded.

Castiel backed down a bit, and Dean relaxed a bit. He felt better when he was alone. He didn't like people around to remind him how much better than him they were.

Dean got back to the task of finding his t-shirt. He found it and put it on. When he turned back, Castiel was gone.


	4. Home Sweet Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I wasn't sure if this would be the best movie... But my friend told me to go with it... I hope you like this chapter!  
> Follow me on tumblr: sofknowseverything.tumblr.com and hellaadestiel.tumblr.com

Chapter 4 – Home Sweet Home

Castiel gave Dean his shirt the next day, and when Dean got home cleaning it was the first thing he did. After that he just went through with his homework and helped Sam doing some pretty difficult math problems.

After that Dean just let Sam pick a movie and they both watched it. Sam had picked one of his favorite movies of all times, in part he just wanted to annoy Dean with his choice, but he knew his brother better than that… He knew that deep down, Dean loved this. He had picked the first High School Musical. He liked to sing and dance along with Troy, while he heard Dean complaining about the movie, but when Troy started to sing, he could see Dean's lips moving along with the lines… So, when he sensed his brother tense up, he would just ask for this movie to be on, and the tension would be released.

Half way through the movie, Charlie called Dean and when she heard the television sound, she almost yelled to the cell-phone.

"Dean! You're watching High School Musical without me?!"

Dean chuckled.

"Sammy really wanted to see it… Besides, we have to take the opportunity when Dad's not at home yet. You know that as soon as he gets home he just takes the remote away from us… We have to stop everything that we're doing to let him watch whatever the hell he wants…"

Charlie sighed.

"I know… Sorry… It's just that Ashley Tisdale looks hot in those movies…"

Dean rolled his eyes.

"Yeah. So does Zac Efron." He told her, smiling.

They both liked to play around, and playing around with each other was the best.

As the conversation continued, Dean started hearing the purr of the impala stopping.

"Shit. Dad's home. I'll talk to you later, Charlie."

They weren't wealthy, but with Dean working for Bobby and occasionally helping Jo, he got himself enough money to get a cell phone. Their father might be an alcoholic, but he likes to be an alcoholic in front of a TV screen, so they had a pretty decent TV at their place, and a couple of scary movies because that's how John Winchester likes to spend a good afternoon. Dean was now saving up to buy a computer that he would share with Sam.

They paused the movie quickly and started gathering everything that was out of place. Dean sent Sam to their room as his dad entered the house.

He opened the door and Dean knew this wasn't going to end well.

"You fucker! You were using my TV weren't you, you useless peace of shit?!"

Dean looked back and saw that he missed the 'pause' button, and instead he hit the 'mute button'.

SHIT! I can't believe I hit the wrong button!

"What the fuck is that on the screen?! You fucking gay!" Dean flinched at his words. He should be used by now… But he obviously wasn't. "If you wanna watch men dancing around and shaking their dicks, then go to a FUCKING MONSTER CLUB! That's where you belong!"

Dean lowered his head. He wasn't ashamed of himself… No, that wasn't it… His fists clenched, his nails were starting to dig in his flesh. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. He was trying not to go and give a high five to his dad's face… With as much strength as he could…

No, he wouldn't do that… Things would be worse… And he couldn't do that… Not with Sammy in the house.

"What? You won't even try to fucking defend yourself?! You're such a pussy, Dean! I am ashamed of calling you my son…" His father continued.

As usual, Dean tried to think about something else. Anything. Just something to make him stop and not go after his father. Fathers aren't supposed to be offensive; they are supposed to care about their sons… At least that's what Dean always told himself. He wanted to believe it, but his father's words still hurt. He knew better than to believe in him, but it still hurt to hear them.

"I'm sorry… It was for a project." Dean mumbled, trying to sound confident, he didn't want his father to hit him.

"Yeah, sure Dean! And I'm Santa Claus! You can't fool me, you little shit! You better never lie to me again!" John punched the wall. "You better not watch this thing again! If I so much catch you thinking about it, you're going to suffer!"

Stay calm Dean. Just nod… You just need to nod.

He did as he commanded himself. He raised his head slightly and nodded.

His father looked pleased by that action.

"And where is Sam?" While John never even tried to care about Dean, he had a bit of a soft spot for Sam, but it was just when he wasn't all that intoxicated.

"He's studying." Dean lied. It was better this way. He could keep his father thinking his brother wasn't watching it with him, while he took all the blame. It was the right thing to do, protect his baby brother.

John nodded.

"You should be studying too, your brother is so much better than you little fag." He said shaking his head.

It was becoming a bit too much for Dean. His heart was hurting by so many harsh words from his father.

"I know… I'm going to study now." He said as he excused himself upstairs to his shared bedroom.

Dean and Sam shared a bedroom. There were nights where they would just pretend to be happy, but there were nights where Dean would just put himself in front of his brother to protect him from his father's hand, shoe, belt... Anything he had in his hands actually.

He opened the door to their room and got himself inside.

"I'm sorry, Dean!" Sam jumped to him. He didn't mean for John to catch them watching the movie… He just wanted to spend some time with his brother… "I didn't mean for him to catch us!"

Sam was almost in tears.

Dean held Sam close.

"Hey… Calm down. I'm okay…" Dean said as he tried to sooth his brother. "He didn't do anything to me."

It was a common thing. Every time John got angry, Dean would be his punching bag. He would always save Sammy. Never wanting for him to get hurt. He knew just how much his father could hurt him when he was angry… He didn't want Sam to get hurt like that too.

"He might have done nothing, but I heard him, Dean… I know just how mean he was to you! And it's my fault! I should have suggested another movie! If it had been one horror movie he would have at least approved of it! I'm sorry Dean!"

Dean sighed. He pulled his brother as close as he could.

"I know, Sammy. Let's just stay here for now… I'll go cook us dinner in a while." Dean assured Sam.

He could feel his brother still shaking, but he was by far much more relaxed now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review with your thoughts


	5. Just Run!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wrote this, I've been supper busy with school and I'm finishing NaNoWriMo, so it was difficult to write anything in the past few days that wasn't for my novel. I hope you like this chapter, it's just basically a filler, I know, but I really wanted to write something for you. Look who is early! Happy thanksgiving, everyone!  
> Follow me on tumblr: sofknowseverything.tumblr.com and hellaadestiel.tumblr.com

Chapter 5 – Just run!

He walked to school and he tried to avoid the bullies. For once he could actually avoid them. He went all the other directions whenever he saw one of those familiar faces.

He spotted Charlie next to his locker. He smiled and walked to her.

"Hey Charlie!" He greeted with a smile.

Charlie glanced her eyes to him and smiled back.

"Winchester! I'm glad you're ok!" She said. "Your dad didn't catch you yesterday, I see…"

Besides being Dean's best friend, Charlie knew everything that John did to Dean. Not because Dean ever told her, but because she would see marks on him and figure it out. Or just by the way he was standing… She was just a genius.

"Not exactly. I hit mute instead of 'pause', so he saw Troy dancing around with the Wildcats." Dean mumbled, trying not to sound too affected by the memory.

"God, I'm sorry to hear that… But he didn't hit you did he?" Charlie asked out of concern.

Dean shook his head.

"No, but he gave me a lecture about how gay the movie actually is…"

Charlie smiled.

"He is right you know… High School Musical is the gayest movie Disney has ever made." She told him.

"I guess you're right…"

"What is that?" Charlie asked pointing to a plastic bag that Dean had in his hand.

"This is Castiel's shirt. The one I ruined…" Dean told her.

"Oh! You did that magic trick you always do to save it?" Dean nodded. "You always save my cosplays! I don't know what I would do if it wasn't for you!"

Dean chuckled lightly.

"You would probably be the same, except you would have all your clothes full of stains…"

"That is just true, Dean!" She agreed with him.

Dean glanced at his clock.

"I better get going. I'm going to try and put this in front of Castiel's locker."

Walking around the school, avoiding bullies and trying to reach Castiel's locker was hard. Every single one of them was trying to impress the 'King' so that they could be a bit higher in the hierarchy. Usually Dean avoided the zone, trying not to be caught by those guys. But today was the day he really needed to go there leave the bag and walk away.

"Mr. Winchester! Fancy seeing you here!" Crowley mocked.

Dean flinched lightly.

"Good morning." He tried to be polite, so that they would just mock it and leave. But no, everyone liked to do the exact opposite of what Dean wanted.

"Good morning, he says!" Alastair repeated with a laugh.

Dean tried to even his breathing pattern.

Come on Dean, let the air in, let the air out. Just breathe.

"What are you doing here, Mr. Winchester?" Azazel asked him. "We never see you at this side of the school!"

Dean gulped.

"I'm just here to return something." He just wanted to give the shirt back to Castiel.

Dean tried to walk away from them, motioning to Castiel's locker.

"What is that in your hands?" Crowley asked.

"It's a shirt." Dean spoke so low that it was barely above a whisper.

"A shirt?" Crowley repeated. "Why are you carrying a shirt with you?"

Dean wanted to run away. He didn't want trouble. But he didn't want to face Castiel… Because he was afraid of the mighty King, even if he had a crush on the so called mighty King.

"I'm returning it to someone." Dean said.

"And who are you returning it to?" Dean didn't answer, which made the trio angry. "Answer when I ask you something!"

"I'm returning it to Castiel." Dean spoke.

Everyone stared at him.

It was Azazel who broke the silence.

"Yeah, sure… As if Castiel would just lend you a shirt!"

The other boys laughed.

"Now tell me the truth!" Crowley demanded.

"He didn't lend it to me. I got it dirty, so I cleaned it…" Dean told him.

That seemed to make Crowley stop laughing.

"Oh! You're his maid! You clean his clothes! Of course, you're just a peasant after all…" He smirked. "What would Castiel say if the stain was still there?"

Alastair barked out a laugh.

"I bet he would be angry…"

Azazel smirked.

"And what do you think he would do if Mr. Winchester here handed him the shirt with a few words on it?"

Dean's eyes grew wider.

"Please don't." He asked.

But those boys were just there for the fun.

"How about… 'Dean hearts Castiel'?" Alastair asked.

"Or maybe… Just drawings…" Azazel added.

"Why won't we do both?" Crowley asked.

Dean didn't want that to happen. He hold the bag as tightly as he could and ran away. Yeah, it was a bit coward of him to run away. But he couldn't have any of those things happening.

He turned a corner and bumped into someone.

The plastic bag still in his hold and he just continued running away, yelling a 'I'm Sorry!' to whoever he bumped into.

Dean ran and ran until he found his safe place. He was in Mr. Lafitte's office.

"Good morning, Dean… I see you're having your morning run…" Mr. Lafitte commented.

"I'm sorry to just run inside without knocking, but I need you to help me." It was never easy for Dean to ask anyone's help, and Mr. Lafitte knew it.

"What's wrong Dean?" He asked suddenly getting up to his feet and walking to Dean.

Dean, who was panting from running, tried to catch his breath before talking.

"Crowley and his friends wanted to get me in trouble."

Mr. Lafitte frowned.

"What kind of trouble?"

"They wanted to write and draw things on Castiel's shirt." Dean said as he raised his hand, showing the bag to Mr. Lafitte.

"Why do you have a shirt that belongs to Castiel?" He asked.

Dean raised his head.

"Because I kinda ruined it and promised I would get it cleaned." Dean explained.

"Oh… So getting it written would be awful…" Mr. Lafitte agreed.

Dean looked to the windows that showed the gardens their school had.

"I need you to give this to him." Dean asked.

Mr. Lafitte nodded.

"I think it's best if I hand it to him."

"Mr. Novak!" Mr. Lafitte called.

Castiel turned his head to look at the teacher.

"Yes, Mr. Lafitte." Castiel walked towards the teacher. "Do you want anything from me?"

Mr. Lafitte sighed.

"No… But I have something for you."

Castiel tilted his head.

"What could you possibly have that is for me?" He inquired.

Mr. Lafitte didn't answer. He held the plastic bag and handed it to Castiel.

"What is this?" Castiel asked, taking the bag.

"I believe, Mr. Winchester said that it was your shirt."

"My shirt?" Castiel opened the plastic bag and scanned it. "Oh! This shirt."

A few seconds of silence were put to an end by Castiel.

"Why didn't he gave it to me directly?"

Mr. Lafitte laughed slightly at Castiel's confusion.

"He was being chased by someone who wanted to ruin the shirt to make you hate him. He said he ran as fast as he could to save the shirt, he even bumped into someone."

Castiel looked Mr. Lafitte in the eyes.

"He bumped into me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it for today, guys! I have a huge math test tomorrow, so I will be really stressed after it. I'm going to finish my novel and then I'm going to continue my other story 'Who Kissed Me?!' if you haven't read it yet, I recommend it. I'm loving that story, but this is easier to write, the chapters are not that big, and they kinda just come. The other one is ending and I need some pretty important things happening.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you like this story so far! I'm amazed by the amount of people who are following this story! I wasn't expecting it to happen! I have almost 50 people following this! Thank you all for following/ favoriting and thank you those three very kind, very awesome people who reviewed last chapter!
> 
> When you review you make me want to write more! So, tell me what you think so far! ^^ Thank you for reading! I'll see you on Monday!


	6. Caught in a lie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello! I am going to post chapters the day before I had told you... Usually I'm too excited to wait for the next day, so I will basically post the chapters when I finish them... I am writing again 'Who Kissed Me?!' so if you're reading that fic too there is a new chapter for you to read. If you're not reading the story, you're the one who is losing, I ask you to at least check the story out!  
> Follow me on tumblr: sofknowseverything.tumblr.com and hellaadestiel.tumblr.com

Chapter 6 – Caught in a lie

Dean was standing in an empty classroom. There were too many people outside, and he didn't want to risk and bump into Crowley again, so he was standing there alone.

He decided to sit down, there were so many empty chairs, but he settled for one in the front row. He took his notebook out of his backpack and started reading what they had been talking about in the last class. Despite Dean trying his best to pay attention in that one class he was nervously thinking if Mr. Lafitte had been able to give Castiel his shirt. He was scared that Crowley would find a way to snatch it from Mr. Lafitte and drabble on it to later hand it to Castiel… He felt sick just by thinking about it…

The door swing open and Dean jumped slightly at the intrusion.

"Why didn't you give the shirt to me in person?" Castiel asked after he closed the door behind himself and started walking to Dean.

He already knew why… But he wanted Dean to tell him himself.

Dean gulped.

"I'm sorry… I was late for class…" Dean lied. He didn't want Crowley to find out he had spilled what he did to him; he would most likely hit him… "So I asked Mr. Lafitte to give you shirt when I saw him in the hallway."

Castiel stared at Dean.

"You're lying." Cas said shaking his head.

Dean looked at Castiel in disbelief.

"How do you know that?" He asked.

Castiel stared into Dean's too green to be true eyes.

"Because you were running from someone this morning…" Castiel explained.

Dean tried to save himself.

"I was just late for class…"

"No… You also bumped into someone…" Castiel said, trying to see if Dean knew who he had bumped into.

"Yeah… I was really late…"

Castiel sighed.

"You were running, ten minutes before class, in the hallways and you bumped into me… Were really that late?"

Dean's eyes widened.

"That was you?" Castiel nodded. "Oh God... I'm so, so sorry!" Dean apologized himself with a pleading look.

Castiel frowned.

"You already said that this morning… Why are you repeating yourself?"

"Because I bumped into you!" Dean said, trying to make Castiel understand.

"Well… You already apologized, so I don't see why you need to do it again…"

"Oh… Okay.." Dean said, as he stared at the tabled.

"You did take the stain away…" Castiel said.

Dean smiled slightly.

"I promised I would, didn't I?" He asked.

"You did, but I didn't really believe you…" Castiel explained.

Dean's face dropped.

"So you were expecting me to fail?" Dean asked carefully.

"I was going to torture you for failing…" Castiel admitted. "But you did it, so you took all the fun away!"

"I'm sorry…" Dean said quickly, he didn't want to piss of Castiel.

"Again, why are you apologizing?" Castiel asked.

Dean raised his stare to Castiel.

"I don't want to make you mad… And you said you wanted to torture me, but since I didn't fail, I expect you are going to be even worse with me…" Dean explained.

Castiel smirked.

"You really are afraid of me… Sometimes I forget that…"

Dean's mouth fell open. He didn't know why Castiel was smirking, and it scared him… A smirk never came along, usually it was followed by mean words and physical pain… So he closed his eyes and waited for the pain to arrive.

A few minutes passed and nothing happened.

Slowly he opened his eyes, only to find Castiel sitting in front of him with an amused expression on his face.

"Don't let me stop you, by all means, I can stay here watching you fear me all day!"

"Why didn't you do anything to me?" Dean asked, a bit afraid of the answer.

Castiel rolled his eyes.

"We are in the middle of school… I don't want a suspension!" He explained.

Most jocks were dumb people, but Castiel was known for his brains. He was the King for some reason. He was always the one with the best plans to torture someone, the one to have the master plan for hunting the weak.

"And I love psychological fear…" He admitted. "Well… Back to what's important… Why were you running this morning?"

Dean gulped. He really didn't want Crowley to be mad… But it was Castiel the one that could hurt him the most, so he opted for the truth.

"I- Someone was trying to get your shirt full of drabbles and drawings… So I ran from them, before they could do either of the above." Dean said carefully to not give away the names of the ones following him.

"Why did they want to do that? Did they think it was your shirt?" Castiel was playing dumb, he just wanted to see what Dean was willing to tell.

"No… They knew it was your shirt." Dean admitted. "They thought you would end me if the shirt was worse than before."

Castiel nodded.

"Alright… And who was willing to ruin my shirt to make you pay?" He asked the final question. The one Dean was hoping he wouldn't ask. The one Castiel wanted to know if Dean was willing to answer.

"Hmmm… They… I don't know their names…" Dean lied.

"Bullshit." Castiel cut him quickly. "You know exactly their names… I can see the fear in your eyes. What are you scared of now, Dean?"

Dean stopped breathing for a second.

"You know my name?" He asked.

"No, I just called you that because I felt like doing so… What do you think, assbutt?"

"Sorry… I didn't know you knew my name, that is all…" Dean explained. "How do you know my name?"

"We have had classes together in the past…" Castiel admitted. "…But I only knew your last name, I found your first name today when Mr. Lafitte handed me my shirt."

Dean looked at him wide eyed.

"You remember having classes with me?"

"I'm not exactly asleep in classes… And you have been the one person who gets kicked around the school the most… I know the infamous Mr. Winchester… But I have no idea who 'Dean' is…" Castiel explained.

"Oh… I see…"

"You know my name, right?" Dean nodded. "Why don't you ever use it?"

"I didn't know if I was supposed to call your name… I'm a bit of a loser around here…" Dean said bitterly. "And your name is a bit mouthful…" He said, quickly he hit his own mouth, he took a deep breath before continuing. "I mean… No offense! It's a beautiful name, but it's a bit mouthful…"

Castiel found Dean to be very strange. He was always afraid, and trying to make himself look invisible. It made Castiel intrigued by Dean. He wanted to understand this person. And he wanted to have some fun while doing so…

"Then what do you suggest?" Castiel asked amused, wanting to see what Dean would come up with. His brothers usually said the same thing, and just called him 'Cassie' which he dreaded.

Dean looked at the table, thinking hard. A few seconds later, he looked back at Castiel with a tiny smile.

"How about Cas?" He asked.

Castiel frowned.

"Cas?" Dean nodded. "It doesn't sound as bad as Cassie… If you want you can call me Cas…" Castiel declared.

"Alright, Cas…"

Cas raised himself from the chair and started walking away.

"I still want to know who was chasing you, Dean… When you feel like talking come to me and tell me." And so he left.

Dean stared at the closed door, that Cas left behind.

"Did I just became friends with him?" Dean asked himself in disbelief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter! THANK YOU for those who subscribed and bookmarked this story! THANK YOU for those who commented the story! THANK YOU for those who left Kudos! And above that, THANK YOU for taking your time and reading this story! It would be awesome if every reader actually commented, but I know that sometimes we just can't comment... But it means the world to me when people actually commented!


	7. Home isn't Safe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr: sofknowseverything.tumblr.com and hellaadestiel.tumblr.com

 

Chapter 7 – Home isn't safe

"Come on, Dean! Wake up!" Sam called. "I don't want to be late for school!"

Dean wasn't exactly a morning person. He liked to sleep in, to stay in the comfort of his own bed. But he knew that he needed to get up and actually go to school. His brother liked to walk with him to school and he wasn't going to give that up just so he could be a little more in his bed. He liked to walk slowly, instead of rushing and having to say goodbye to Sammy too soon.

He quickly got up and ran to the bathroom, there weren't many clothes for him to take off, just a black shirt and his boxers. He jumped into the shower and about five minutes later he was finishing his breakfast.

"Come on, Sammy!" He said as Sam ate his breakfast. "I thought you didn't want to be late for school!" He mocked with a smile.

Sam sent him one of his famous 'bitch-faces', being this one bitch-face number one.

"I'm almost done…" He said his eyes never leaving Dean. He was trying to swallow his food as fast as he could.

Dean motioned to start cleaning the kitchen, not wanting his father to come and punish him for having things all messed up around the kitchen. But he was too late.

John came inside the small kitchen area with only a plain shirt and his boxers on. His face said it all. He had been drinking during the night.

"Why is this shit all around?" John asked.

It wasn't all that messy… Actually it was just Dean's dish and a pan… But still, for John nothing was ever enough.

"I was just going to clean everything…" Dean said as me moved faster to get things done, rather sooner than later.

"You should have done that before eating!" John yelled at him. He sat on his chair and looked at Dean expectantly. Once he realized Dean hadn't moved ever since his last sentence he yelled angrily at Dean. "DO YOU THINK MY BREAKFAST IS GOING TO COOK ITSELF, BOY? GO AND DO SOMETHING USEFUL YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"

Dean flinched and started doing what his father had asked him.

Sam lowered his head and finished his cereals quietly. He tried to take as much time as he could, to keep his brother company. He knew their father would send him to school as soon as he finished.

"Are you done yet?" John asked his younger son.

Sam slowly raised his eyes and shook his head.

"Then you better hurry up… I don't want you getting late for school."

Dean was giving his best to cook his father bacon and eggs, but everyone in the house knew that Dean wasn't exactly the best cook in the world, though he tried.

Once he thought it was done, he started putting John's breakfast in a plate and handed it to him.

John took a fork and started digging in his food. After the first bite he looked at Dean, his face full of anger. He spat everything he had in mouth to Dean's face.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!" He demanded. "YOU CALL THIS BREAKFAST? I CALL THIS A PIECE OF SHIT…" John calmed down for a few seconds, before smirking. "What was I expecting? You can never do anything good… Even what you cool is like you, worthless, shit, awful."

Dean cleaned his face quickly.

"I'm sorry…"

John went back to full anger mode.

"YOU'RE SORRY?! YOU THINK I FUCKING CARE THAT YOU ARE SORRY!?" He asked. "YOU ONLY GIVE ME EXPENSES! YOU ARE USELESS!" He grabbed the first thing he could reach – his plate – and threw it at Dean. Dean bent over and the plate fell to the ground behind him, every piece of it ricocheting on the ground ending up in different places of the kitchen floor. "YOU DARE AVOIDING PUNISHMENT?!" John yelled at Dean, clearly, John had been drinking more than just one bottle during the night. "I DON'T WANT YOU TO EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT! YOU NEED TO LEARN YOUR PLACE, BOY!"

And so he threw his knife at Dean. Dean didn't dare moving. Not this time. He was too scared of what John would do if he dared to move again.

Sam was used to his father being violent, but he had never gotten to the point of throwing knifes. Once the knife hit Dean, Sam rose from his seat.

"That's enough Dad! If you want, I can cook you breakfast!" He offered. His brother had a knife stuck in his upper right arm, blood was now starting to show up and he didn't want his father to throw another one.

_This can't be true… This can't be true! He didn't do it… He… He didn't… Why… Why a knife? My arm is hurting so bad. I could feel the knife digging in my arm… I want to run… I want to leave this place… But I can't leave Sammy here… Not alone with him… Who knows what he would do once I was gone… With no one to pick on… Sammy would be the one who would get hurt… I can't have that happening… Not now… not ever… I need to stay… I need to find a way to take us out of this place._

Dean's head was spinning. His arm was stinging, his mind was thinking of ways to leave John and bring Sam with him.

"Here, Dad…" Sam said as he place another set of bacon and eggs in front of him.

This time John didn't have anything to point out and ate without a problem.

Sam grabbed Dean by the arm –his good arm– and took him to their room. Gently, he took the knife out of Dean's body.

Then he proceeded to take Dean's shirt off, so that he could examine the wound.

In the meanwhile, Dean, who thought they were still in the kitchen, got back to reality when he felt the pain of the knife leaving his arm.

"Ow!" He hissed.

"Sorry." Sam apologized.

They were used to this. John would become violent, hit Dean, and then Sam would help him get better. This time it had been a lot worse.

"I need to patch you up, Dean." Sam told him as he reached for the first aid kit that the boys had hidden under Sam's bed.

He got out the necessary stuff to patch his brother and started cleaning the wound up so he could start doing so. He had done it before, but it had always been superficial cuts, it had never been something his profound.

Dean was hissing, though he tried not to. It's not that he didn't want Sam to think he couldn't handle it. No, that wasn't it… What he wanted was to be strong for Sam, so that Sam wouldn't be scared.

Sam gave his best, in the end he just reached for some cotton with alcohol and placed it above the now patched up wound. He wanted this to be good. He didn't want his brother to have that wound infected.

"It's done, Dean." Sam said emotionless. He wasn't exactly sure what he was feeling. He knew two of those feelings:  _anger_ and  _sadness._  He didn't like to see his brother suffering so much. Especially when the reason was something as stupid as having ditched a plate. He knew that he was angry at his father, that he was sad that Dean was always suffering so much. But there was another feeling he didn't quite know what it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I was going to give them a normal morning, but then I came up with this... I'm sorry about what I came up with...  
> Thank you for all the Kudos that you keep leaving! <3 i love you all so much! it means a lot to me that you keep reading and tell me that you are liking this fic... <3 when things get dark, remember that I LOVE YOU!


	8. Good morning to you all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr: sofknowseverything.tumblr.com and hellaadestiel.tumblr.com

 Chapter 8 – Good morning to you all

As they were walking, Sam kept looking at his brother with concern.

"Are you sure you're alright, Dean?"

Dean nodded.

"You don't look alright…" Sam muttered. After a few seconds, Sam decided that it would be best if he left Dean with someone.

He tried to spot Charlie, but he had no such luck. After a few seconds, Sam spotted three guys who looked decent enough.

Sam walked up to them, leaving his brother behind with a 'I'll be right back', and tried to catch their attention.

"Hello." Sam greeted. The guys casually looked at him briefly before going back to ignoring him. "I'm sorry… Can I ask you a favor?"

Sam really didn't trust his brother to be alone right now… He had done his best patching him up, but he wanted to have at least someone checking the wound out, so see if it wasn't going to infect.

One of the guys turned around and walked to Sam with a smirk.

"What do you want kid?"

Sam smiled.  _Now that's what I call progress!_

"My brother…" Sam hesitated with his words. He didn't trust them enough to tell them much. "My brother isn't feeling very well…" He ended up saying, careful with his words. "Could you take him to the nurse's office? I would go with him but I need to go to my own school…" Sam explained quickly.

The guy, who was a lot shorter than most guys in high school pondered a bit.

"Is that your brother?" Gabriel asked, pointing to the figure standing behind Sam.

Sam nodded.

"Yeah, that's my brother." He confirmed.

Dean chose that moment to turn around, to see what was taking Sam so long.

"Oh! So your brother is 'Mr. Winchester'!" Gabriel said loudly, catching his brothers' attention.

"Can you take him with you or not?" Sam asked.

As Gabriel was about to answer, Castiel approached Sam.

"What does your brother need?"

Sam smiled gratefully.  _Now he might take him!_

"He isn't feeling very well, can you take him to the nurse's office, please?" He asked the new guy.

Castiel looked at Dean. He really didn't look all that well… He was pale, standing with a pained look on his face.

Cas pondered. He could take Dean and ask him if he was finally going to tell who had been following him, or he could leave the guy alone, for someone to take care of. He wanted to torture Dean himself, he wanted to be the one who was in Dean's head… And he wasn't well enough to be tortured, so he was nothing to Cas at the moment.

"I'll take him…" Castiel said.  _This is my good deed for the week._

"Thank you!" Sam told him gratefully. He walked back to his brother. "Dean, come on… You need to go to the nurse's office. That guy will go with you…" Sam explained as he pointed to Castiel.

"I don't need to go to the nurse's office, Sammy! She will ask questions! You know dad would go nuts if someone found out!" Dean huffed.

"There's no way I'm letting you go to class like that, Dean! You NEED to go! Take a moment there, ask for some pain killer, I don't care, but you need to go there… You are NOT ok!" Sam was almost yelling. His brother was always stubborn, but he knew just how to make the stubbornness go away. He made his move. "Come on Dean… Please do it for me…"

Dean looked at his brother, only to find the ultimate puppy eyes.

He sighed in defeat.

"Fine… I'll go… But I don't need company… I know where it is. I can go there on my own." Dean argued.

"No way… You look like you're going to pass out… Please go with someone Dean… Or else I will be too concerned that you might be passed out in a hallway, all on your own…"

"Geez Sammy… You think too much!" He told his brother. "Fine… I'll go." He agreed. "But don't be worried, Sammy… You need to stay focused, I don't want to be the reason you can't get a good grade… You always get so depressed…"

Sam nodded.

"Of course Dean. I know you're not alone, so I won't be too worried." Sam told him with a smile as he started walking away.

"Sammy…" Dean called. Sam turned around. Dean hugged him close. "Thank you for caring so much."

Sam smiled.

"Of course Dean… Your my brother and I love you…" He told Dean as he hugged back. "But now you need to go… The guy who agreed to go with you is looking at us as if he's pissed… I bet we're taking too long…"

And so they walked their separate ways.

"Good morning, Cas." Dean greeted, as they started walking to the nurse's office.

Cas looked at Dean curiously.

"What happened to you?" He asked.

Dean frowned.

"What do you mean?" He asked nervously. Did Castiel know what happened? No… He couldn't… Could he?

"You look like a different person around your brother." Castiel stated. "Why's that?"

Dean looked Castiel in the eyes.

"I trust my brother. He's my family… I would die for the kid… So I act a bit protective around him… And it goes the other way around too… We are very protective of each other…"

Cas nodded.

"I don't understand why… Me and my brothers aren't exactly like that. Gabe is always pulling pranks. Balthazar just goes along with it… But I can see that you are very fond of your brother."

"Yeah… I guess you could say that." Dean shrugged.

Dean was the only real family Sam had ever had. And the same worked for Dean. The closest they got to a father was their 'uncle Bobby' but usually Dean would take that position and would take care of Sam.

"You were fine yesterday." Castiel stated. "Did you eat something bad?"

Dean nodded. He didn't want questions. It was bad enough that he had to go to the nurse office, he didn't need someone questioning him about how he got sick.

They were walking around the corner when someone bumped into Dean. The other person's shoulder hit Dean's right arm.

Suddenly, Dean was on the floor nursing his arm the best he could.

Cas noticed Dean falling, and thought that Dean had passed out. He was about to reach other for him when he noticed Dean nursing his upper right arm. He said nothing about that, but he was curious. Did the person hit Dean that hard? Or was Dean hiding something?

"Come on, Dean… We're almost there… Don't make me pick you up and drag you there!" Cas said defiantly.

Dean got up as quickly as he could, still nursing his arm the best he could, with all the people walking near him.

They were almost in the nurse's office when Crowley showed up.

"Good morning, Mr. Winchester!" He greeted. "You don't look so well today… Maybe I could get you to look worse."

Azazel and Alastair smirked, while Crowley got himself closer to Dean.

"What is wrong with your arm? Care to show?" Dean said nothing and tried to walk past them, but Crowley blocked his way. "Na-ah-ah! Where do you think you're going?"

Dean didn't answer. His arm felt like it was going to explode; all he wanted was something to relieve the pain… Anything, so he kept trying to walk.

"Did the cat eat your tongue? Answer when I speak, would you Mr. Winchester?!" Crowley yelled at Dean.

Castiel was watching what was happening. Dean hadn't said anything… Hell, he had just walked near Crowley and the guy was all over him. Now he was just trying to get out of trouble.

"Crowley… He doesn't want to show it… How about we go and find it ourselves?" Alastair asked.

Crowley smirked.

"That's what I was going to do…"

Castiel was going to stop Crowley, to help Dean… But he was curious… What was Dean hiding? So he just sat back and watched as Crowley's guys grabbed Dean by the arms and Crowley reached for Dean's neckline. He pulled it down on the side to see a fresh wound, one that looked pretty nasty, it was about two inches long and it had stitches.

Crowley smiled.

"Well… You have lost a fight… I wonder what would happen if I were to touch it… accidentally of course…"

Castiel was astounded. Why did Dean have a nasty wound in his arm? And above that, why did it look so nasty? He decided it was enough. Dean was clearly in pain without Crowley putting his hand on the wound.

"Crowley…" Castiel called. Crowley turned around.

"Good Morning, Castiel… How are you today?"

Castiel dismissed the small talk.

"I'm good, but Mr. Winchester over there is not.. And I promised his brother I would take him to the nurse's office, so back off." It wasn't a question, and Crowley could feel it. Slowly, his hands left Dean and the boy was hugging his arm as close to himself as he could. He feared Crowley would try something, even with Cas there.

"Alright… We're going…" Crowley agreed.

Crowley motioned for Alastair and Azazel to follow him and so they left.

"Are you alright, Dean?" Castiel asked as he reached Dean.

Dean looked at him.

"You helped me…" He said dumbstruck.

Castiel looked at Dean confused.

"Of course… I promised your brother… I keep my promises."

Dean smiled warmly.

"Thanks Cas."

Dean was slowly starting to trust Castiel. The fact that he had defended Dean was a huge deal to Dean. No one had ever defended him, and then, Castiel – the King of the place – showed up and saved him.

They walked the rest of the way in a comfortable silence.

Once they reached the door of the nurse's office, Dean was stopped by a hand on his chest.

"Why do you have stitches on your arm, Dean?"

Dean faced the floor.

"I don't want to talk about it." Dean answered.

"They weren't there yesterday." Castiel noted.

Dean frowned, looking slightly up to Cas.

"What makes you say that?"

"Yesterday I touched you in the arm and nothing you didn't even looked a least bit pained." Castiel explained.

"Oh… Sure…"

"Tell me Dean…" Cas asked.

"I fell and got a stick on my arm…" Dean lied.

"You're back at lying." Castiel noted. He was starting to see when Dean was lying and when Dean was speaking the truth.

"How can you possibly know that?" Dean asked him confused.

Castiel locked eyes with him.

"That's because three seconds ago you refused to think about it, and now you just spilled it out without me pressuring you that much."

_Shit… You could have played hard to get Dean!_

"Whatever you say Cas… Now, can I get some painkillers or what?"

Cas shook his head.

"You can go, when you tell me what happened."

Dean sighed. He wasn't even prepared to think about it. How could he tell what had happened?

"I can't tell you…" Dean said softly, his eyes meeting again with the floor.

"Who did this to you, Dean?"

Dean looked slightly taken aback by Castiel's question. But still refused to answer.

"I know it wasn't Crowley… I know your brother wasn't… So, who did it?"

"I told you… I fell…" Dean tried to convince not only Cas but also himself. It hurt too much to think that his own dad had done that to him.

"Alright Dean… You are about to pass out, I can see it in the way your almost falling to the ground, so I'm letting you go. But this talk isn't over… Nor is our last talk!" Cas said, finally taking his hand off of Dean's chest.

The moment Cas let go, was the moment Dean fell, unconscious, on the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you're enjoying this story so far ^^


	9. It doesn't hurt so bad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr: sofknowseverything.tumblr.com and hellaadestiel.tumblr.com

Chapter 9 – It doesn't hurt so bad

His arm hurt. Dean was slowly drifting back to consciousness, his eyes starting to flutter open.

“Welcome back!” The nurse said. “Be careful, you don’t want to get up too fast… You’ve been out for twenty minutes, so don’t try to outdo yourself, sweetheart.”

Dean tried to sit himself on the bed that was in the nurse’s office - it was kinda like a hospital bed - he got half sitting, half lying down and looked around. He didn’t remember walking inside the room ever. It was full of shelves that had medicine, other three hospital-like beds and one desk with a chair in front of it.

A shiver came creeping to Dean’s body and he noticed he didn’t have his shirt on.

The nurse walked up to him.

“Now, Dean… Are you feeling ok?”

Dean looked at the nurse, he had never talked to her before but she seemed nice. She had dark locks and was wearing a comforting smile. Dean glanced down to read her name tag; it read ‘ _Nurse Pamela Barnes_ ’.

“I’m good, Miss Barnes.” He answered.

She looked at him suspicious.

“Oh really?” He nodded. “Then why do you have a patched up wound on your arm?” Dean didn’t answer. “Why did you pass out?”

Dean decided he needed to talk, she wouldn’t stop asking questions, and he couldn’t have her finding the truth.

“O fell on my way home and got a stick stuck in my arm.”

Miss Barnes walked closer to him.

“Then why didn’t you go to the hospital? This wound is pretty deep. The stitches aren’t bad but it’s clearly not done by a professional…” She pointed out.

“I asked my brother to do it. I don’t trust hospitals.” It wasn’t exactly all true, but it also wasn’t exactly a lie… He didn’t ask Sam, but it had been Sam who patched him up… That counted as half true, right? And he didn’t really trust hospitals; once John had beaten Dean on the face and broke his nose, Sam asked Dean to go to the hospital and once he got there they started asking questions… and he couldn’t have that. Who knew what his father would do if he found out Dean had told everything? So he told them he couldn’t tell them. They agreed not to pressure him, but all too soon they were asking again and again. Luckily for Dean he didn’t have time to break. John walked in the hospital and demanded that Dean got out of that place; he dragged Dean out and made him swear he would never go to one again. So, he was speaking one and a half true…

“Alright.” Miss Barnes sighed. “I’m glad you at least came here… This wound would have infected... I had to take the previous stitches off of you and then I had to disinfect it, and then patch you up again.” He sent him a sad smile. “You can’t do any physical activity with your arm for about a week, or the stitches will break… Here, I wrote a note to your PE teacher…”

She handed him the note and placed a soft hand in Dean’s neck.

“You need to be more careful.” Dean nodded, to make the nurse stop talking. So far he managed to keep her to asking further questions, but one never knew what would come next… “Oh, and Dean… I suggest you thank your friend very well.” Once the nurse saw his look of confusion, she chuckled softly. “You were falling to the ground when you lost consciousness. He caught you before you hit the ground and carried you in his arms to the bed. Despite you being unconscious, you were moving your arm, and I couldn’t give you any anesthesia, because I had no idea if you were allergic to it or not; anyway… he hold both of your arms so that I could treat you… Not many people are willing to do that, you know… Most run away the second they see the nasty cuts, because of the amount of blood that comes with a wound… If it weren’t for him you would be much worse now…”

“I’ll make sure to thank him…” Dean muttered.

“Also Dean… I must inform your father about this…” She explained to him. “But I can’t find his cell-phone number in your process… Can you give it to me?”

Dean’s eyes went wide. His father would be so pissed that he wasn’t man enough to handle a knife on his arm without passing out… He didn’t even let himself think of the possibilities of what John would do to him.

“I’m sorry… But my dad knows… He was the one who took the stick out of my arm…” Dean lied.

“But I still need to inform him, Dean… You were unconscious in school grounds…”

“Please… Don’t…” Dean didn’t know what else to say… He couldn’t have her talking to his dad, and he had no idea how to make her stop. “He is a very busy man, but if you want you can talk to my…” Dean thought for a few seconds. “…godfather, I’ll give you his number, he will tell my dad when we meet up tonight.” Dean lied through all of his teeth.

Miss Barnes thought that speaking to Dean’s godfather was better than speaking to no one at all, and so she agreed.

Dean gave her Bobby’s number and she called him.

Bobby answered on the second ring.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Mr. Singer, I wanted to talk to you about your godson, Dean.” Bobby huffed in the other side of the line. “He passed out on school grounds and he has a very serious wound on his arm.”

“Is he alright?” Bobby asked worried.

“Yes… I got his wound treated and patched up properly, but I needed you to inform the boy’s father about the situation; he said that his father was working and that you would talk to him later… So I wanted you to speak about this Mr. Singer.”

“Of course… I will have a word with John…” Bobby said angrily.

“Alright… I wanted to warn you about Dean’s condition; he can’t work hard with his right arm so please make sure he doesn’t get his stitches to break.”  Miss Barnes informed Bobby.

“Yeah… I’ll make that idjit rest, don’t worry about that…”

“This was all I needed to inform you, thank you very much for you time, and I hope you have a good day, sir.”

“Likewise.”

Dean had put his shirt back on and was waiting for Miss Barnes to give him some painkillers.

As soon as she gave it to him he left the room.

* * *

 

Searching for Charlie was hard. Dean really wanted to talk to her. There were loads and loads of people in the hallway, but her head was an easy one to spot. Her hair came into view and he ran up to her.

“Hey Charlie!” He greeted.

Charlie turned around with a smile; which faded as soon as she saw how pale –despite being a bit better now– Dean was.

“Geez Dean… What happened to you?” She asked. Her eyes glanced around his body and she saw that he didn’t look like he had been beaten up. “Did he do something to you again?”

Dean lowered his head.

Charlie needed no further proof. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close; Dean accepted the hug and pulled her as close to himself as he could.

“This can’t go on Dean… One day he could kill you…” She whispered. And Dean knew that, but he didn’t know how to make John stop.

“I will do something… I just don’t know how or when…” Dean admitted. “I need to talk to you…”

Charlie smiled sadly.

“I’m here for you Dean.” Dean started to pull a bit away from her. “If you need a plan I can help you with that…”

“No… That’s not what I need to talk to you about.” Dean told her, glancing at her eyes. Charlie looked curious. “There’s this person…” Dean didn’t want to tell her many details… not at least he understood what was going on. “…who used to bully me, but he helped me out today… I was about to pass out and he got me to the nurse’s office. And he stood up to Crowley for me…”

Charlie smiled.

“You got yourself a friend…”

“I don’t know… What if he wants to hurt me even more?” Dean asked fearful. “Maybe he just wants some information about me to use against me sometime soon…”

Dean was almost hyperventilating, the possibilities could destroy him and he was scared that might be the case…

“Dean.” Charlie called, placing her hand in his shoulder. “Calm down… Maybe he just wants to be your friend…” She started drawing soothing circles with her hand in his shoulder, trying to calm him down. “And besides, if he took you to the nurse’s office, then he might really want to help you out.”

Dean nodded.

“He also helped Miss Barnes when I was unconscious. I kept moving my arm and she needed to stitch my arm; he held both my arms so that she could do it…”

Charlie looked at Dean and grinned.

“Wow, Dean! Looks like you found yourself a boyfriend!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments! ^^ Those are what keeps me going! And sometimes they help me remember some important details that otherwise I wouldn't have remembered!  
> Thank you for reading this story!! I LOVE YOU!!


	10. He’s after me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr: sofknowseverything.tumblr.com and hellaadestiel.tumblr.com

  
Chapter 10 – He’s after me

“Come on, Bobby!” Dean grunted.

“I already said no, Dean!”

A week had passed since the knife incident.

“It’s been a week! Miss Barnes said I could start physical activities when it had passed a week!” Dean wanted to help Bobby on the shop, but that was out of question for Bobby.

“And I told you no, Dean!” Bobby sighed and placed a hand on Dean’s shoulder. “I know you don’t have enough rest at home with John there… So please take a few more days before you make something you’ll regret with your arm.”

Dean frowned.

“That’s not fair! I want to work here!! Besides dad hasn’t been too bad on me, he only makes me clean the house and fetch stuff for him; and I’ve got Sam who won’t let me do half the things!” Dean whined. He was thankful of what his brother was doing, but he didn’t want Sam to do the house chores when he needed to study. It angered him to think that it was all because of a stupid wound.

“Please Dean! Just take a few more days.” Bobby asked. He was tired; Dean wanted to help, he had been trying to do so during the whole week, but Bobby wouldn’t let him. He didn’t want Dean to rip the stitches off.

The doorbell rang and Sam entered the shop panting.

“Hey Sammy.” Dean greeted with a soft smile.

Sam bended forward and his hands fell to his knees. He had run to the shop so he was panting slightly.

“Dean… I need your help.” Sam said as soon as he could.

Dean got closer to his brother.

“What’s the matter, Sammy?” He asked worried.

“I- There’s this guy…” Sam started explaining. “…that guy to whom I talked first the day you passed out…”

“You mean, Gabriel?” Dean asked, interrupting his brother, who nodded a bit annoyed by the interruption. “Sorry.”

“Yeah, him. I don’t know why, but he has been almost everywhere I go! I go somewhere and he is there…” Sam explained. “This is starting to creep me out. At first I thought that it was coincidence, but then I started noticing that he would look over at me and smile. I think he is after me, Dean...”

Dean didn’t know what to think. Why would Gabriel suddenly be interested in Sam? They had only talked once and it hadn’t been all that much! About three sentences each before Castiel interfered. So why would he do something like that?! It made no sense.

“Are you sure? It could really be a coincidence, Sammy.” Dean said.

His brother snorted.

“You think I would come here and ask for your help if I wasn’t sure, Dean?!”

Sam did have a point. Just like his brother, he didn’t like to ask for help all that much. The only times he did ask for help was about school. When he didn’t understand something he would ask Dean, aside from that it was a rare event for Sam to ask for help to anyone.

“Sorry… I just need to be sure Sam. I can’t just go and talk to him if you’re not sure.”

“Fine. I see your point.” Sam huffed.

A few moments later, with Sam and Dean discussing what could be done, the bell rang again.

This time, the person who entered wasn’t running. In fact he was very much calm, his breathing normal and he had a grin in his face.

“Hey there.” He said as he entered the shop.

Sam jumped closer to Dean. Dean turned to Gabriel.

“Hey. Can I help you with something?” He asked. He knew that he wasn’t going to work, Bobby was in the same room as they were, but that didn’t mean that Dean couldn’t be the secretary.

“In fact I think you can…” Gabriel smirked as his eyes wandered around until they settled on Sam.

Without really thinking, Dean placed himself in front of Sam.

“With what, may I ask?” Dean asked, bothered by the fact that Sam had been right about Gabriel.

“I just need to ask you something.” Gabriel said. Dean waited for him to continue. “Where’s the bathroom?”

Dean’s eyes grew wide in shock.

“Excuse me?” He asked.

“You know… The bathroom! I really need to go to one, you see, I didn’t want to pee in the street, so when I saw this garage and decided to ask if I could use the bathroom.” Gabriel’s eyes continued fixed on Sam.

Dean was now standing completely in front of Sam making it impossible for Gabriel to look at him. His instincts were kicking it off and he just knew better than to trust Gabriel, so he was protecting Sam with his own body.

“Geez Dean-o.” Gabriel said as he walked closer to them. “Just tell me, can I use the bathroom or not?”

“Yeah, sure. Come with me.” He said as he grabbed Gabriel’s arm and dragged him to the bathroom door. “We’re here. You can go inside.”

He was almost shoving the guy inside, he felt that Gabriel needed to go away, and the only way to do it was if he went to the bathroom.

“Thanks Dean-o!” Gabriel smiled, despite having been shoved to the inside of the bathroom. He started closing the door, but right before it was closed, he poked his head out of the bathroom. “What’s your brother’s name?”

Dean couldn’t believe it. Why was Gabriel calling him ‘Dean-o’? And why in hell did he want to know Sam’s name?

“Why do you want to know?”

A smirk came into view in Gabriel’s lips.

“He looks interesting. I would love to talk to him.”

“Whatever you ‘would love to’ you can forget it. You’re not going to do anything to my brother.” He didn’t know what had got through him. He had never spoke to anyone at school like this before. Usually he was too scared to act; but now Sam was involved and he simply wanted to protect his baby brother.

Gabriel frowned and Dean could see a bit of Cas in Gabriel.

_Come on Dean! This is important! You need to focus on Sammy!_

“I just wanted to talk to him… No need to get all angry like that, Dean-o!”

“And why do you keep calling me that? You never even talked to me before!”

“Because I like ‘Dean-o’ better than ‘Dean’. So please let me carry on with calling you that.” Gabriel rolled his eyes.

“Didn’t you need to pee?” Dean asked not really in the mood to talk to Gabriel.

Gabriel closed the door. And Dean walked back to Sam.

“I don’t get him…” Dean confessed. “He said he just wanted to talk to you because you ‘seem interesting’.”

Sam frowned.

“How did he come up with that?”

“I have no idea! But be careful Sammy. I don’t trust him.” Sam nodded, trusting his brother’s better judgment.

“Bobby.” Sam called out. Once they heard a gruff that showed that Bobby had heard him, he continued. “I’m going to the house for a bit, ok?”

Bobby’s house was attached to the garage. He lived in the back and his garage was on the from yard.

“See you later, idjit.” Bobby answered simply.

Sam walked away and the flush of the toilet was heard.

Soon, Gabriel was outside of the door, his eyes searching for Sam.

“You need anything else?” Dean asked.

After analyzing the garage and finding that Sam wasn’t there, his eyes met Dean.

“Nope. I better get going.” And so he started walking outside of the garage. Before stepping outside, he turned to Dean. “Tell your brother I said bye.”

Dean was about to answer him when Gabriel walked away laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments! It's awesome when people leave something for me to read! Constructive criticism is something that I appreciate because it helps me improve.  
> You can ask me for something that you would like to happen. Or you can say that you want a certain character to be in this, and I'll see what i can do!


	11. Torture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr: sofknowseverything.tumblr.com and hellaadestiel.tumblr.com

Chapter 11 – Torture

The questions were still in his head. One day after Gabriel had come to the garage, and Dean was still thinking about it. The questions were so many; he didn’t know where he could start digging to find out the answers.

_What does he want? Why is he doing this? Will he stop? What is going to happen to Sammy? What can I do to make him stop?_

What Gabriel had said about just wanting to talk to Sam wasn’t something that Dean believed in. He figured that it was just Gabriel finding excuses to do what he wanted. If Dean wasn’t thinking so hard about it, he would have heard Charlie calling him –actually it was more like yelling for him- in the distance.

“Dean!”

But Dean was too deep in thought that he didn’t listen. Charlie ran up to him and jumped on him, taking him to the floor with her.

“Ow!” Dean sat himself, and pulled Charlie to the side. “What was that for?”

Charlie looked at him in disbelief.

“Did you seriously not hear me yelling your name in the distance?!” She was pissed. Why was he taking it out on her? Why should he blame her if he could stay up when someone jumped on him?!

Dean seemed to realize how off he was and looked at her apologetically.

“I’m sorry.”

Charlie smiled slightly.

“I know…” She started getting up and so did Dean. “Can I talk to you?”

Dean didn’t have class until next period so he was fine with it.

“Good. Come with me!” Charlie grabbed Dean’s hand and pulled him around the school until she found an empty classroom.

Dean sat himself on a chair and waited for Charlie to say what was on her mind.

“Dean… I need to tell you something…” She started a bit tense.

Dean eyed her suspiciously.

“Is everything ok?” Charlie was never one to be nervous, she would just chill around while drama happened, but she looked nervous, so it worried Dean.

“Yeah.” Charlie tried to sound as usual!Charlie would, but it just wasn’t going the way she wanted. After a few seconds of trying to be alright she shook her head. “No…”

Dean pulled his chair closer to Charlie's and placed a hand in her back.

“What’s the matter?”

Charlie’s face fell to Dean’s shoulder and she hugged him. Dean hugged her back and started drawing soothing circles in her back. Charlie was like the sister he had never wanted, but as soon as he found her, he knew they would always be there for each other. He cared deeply about her and when something made her like this it made Dean angry. He wanted to understand what made her so fragile, almost like glass… And he was too afraid that she would break if he stopped holding her. So he kept her as close to himself as he could.

Charlie was crying softly in his arms, and it took her a few seconds to calm herself down enough to reply to Dean.

“I- We-“ She was trying to make sense but she didn’t know where to start. She sounded hurt and lost, and Dean hated hearing her voice break like this. “Anna… S-She cheated on me.”

Anna was Charlie’s girlfriend for the past three months. They met online and started dating when they realized they went to the same school. They seemed like the happiest couple Dean had ever seen, so it bothered him to hear that Anna had cheated.

“What?” He asked in disbelief. “She cheated?!”

Charlie nodded and buried her face in the crook of Dean’s neck. Dean felt the tears in his neck and he wanted nothing more than to calm her down.

“It’s ok, Charlie… You’re going to be ok…” He told her once he realized he couldn’t ask her much more without her breaking into a deep crying mess all over again.

Charlie raised her head slightly and searched for Dean’s eyes.

“You know who she cheated on me with?” Charlie asked. She felt the need to tell him. She needed to tell someone, but it hurt too much… She knew better than to let it all inside of her; it would consume her if she didn’t let the pain out.

Dean was afraid of knowing. He didn’t really want to know because it would make him be very mad at whoever it was. But he knew that Charlie needed to talk about it.

“Who was it?” He asked.

Charlie grabbed Dean’s arm, seeking for the strength she had lost.

“She was giving a blowjob to  _Castiel_.” And with that, another cry came out of her.

Dean didn’t know what to think.  _Why? Why would she do something like this?_ He was lost. As much as he wanted to blame Anna, he also blamed Castiel. It was known all over school that Anna and Charlie were an item. Everyone knew it because who in their right minds wouldn’t know of the only lesbian couple in their High School… So  _Why_  did he do it? Was it to affect Charlie? Still trying to figure that out, he realized that it takes  _two_  to cheat on someone. And it wasn’t a kiss, something Anna could say it was because Cas had kissed her… She was giving him a blowjob. That was a bit more difficult to explain… A sudden rage came to Dean and he wanted to make some justice. But he kept feeling Charlie shacking.

“She was wrong to do it, Charlie. But you need to be strong.” He told her, making her sit in his lap. It was easier to hold her like this. Whenever Sam was crying, Dean would put in his lap and rock him to sooth him, so it was instinctive to do it with Charlie too. “You’re going to be ok… You can’t let them win.”

Charlie fisted Dean’s shirt. It was good to know that someone still cared about her. Despite all that pain, she still felt loved.

“Thank you Dean.” She said as she tried to pull herself together.

Dean raised an eyebrow.

“For what?”

“For being my best friend…” She told him, still not letting go of his shirt. “For being always there for me whenever I need you… You’re more like a brother than a friend to me, you know?”

Dean smiled.

“Hey… Don’t you dare think for even a second, that I don’t feel the same way.” He felt Charlie smiling against his neck. “And I’m always going to be here for you… Like you have always been for me! No matter what happens… I’ll be here. Always.” He tried to sound as reassuring as possible.

Charlie let go of Dean’s shirt and her hands flew around his waist. She placed her chin in Dean’s neck.

“I know…”

They stayed embracing each other for a few seconds, before Charlie raised her head.

“Why were you so lost in thought earlier?” Being with Dean made her almost forget the pain, it made her think about the way Dean didn’t hear her calling his name. “Did something happen?”

Dean, who had started to relax, suddenly stiffed. His mind was now heading back to the topic.

“Yeah…” He started. “Something happened yesterday.”

Charlie waited for him to explain.

“Basically, Sam is being stalked by Gabriel Novak. The guy came to Bobby’s garage and he kept staring at Sam. I talked to him and he told me that he just wanted to talk to Sammy. And when Gabriel left –Sam went to the house- he asked me to say goodbye to Sammy.” Dean stopped himself for a moment. Now that he had told her the problem, she would start telling all the possible scenarios she could think of. “I don’t know what to make out of it…” He confessed.

“You know what?” She asked, making Dean look at her. “I think that what he said isn’t the truth. Sam is a really interesting guy, true, but that wouldn’t make someone like Gabriel go after him… I think that this is part of something bigger…”

Dean knew that trusting Charlie was the best thing to do. She was a genius after all. She could have skipped a year, but she insisted that being with her friends was better than graduating earlier, so she stayed in the same grade.

“Part of something bigger…” Dean thought out loud. “Something like what?”

Charlie gulped.

“Something to mess you up? Messing with Sam would mess you up… Messing with me… Same thing… This is probably a plan that intends to hurt us both, to get to  _you,_  Dean.” She told him.

It made sense.  _But who_? And then it hit him… The only person that could possibly be behind this was  _Castiel._

“I think that Cas is behind this…” Dean confessed.

Charlie shivered when Dean told the name. They had momentarily forgotten about the whole deal with Anna, but the name ‘Cas’ brought it all back.

“Sorry, Charlie… I didn’t mean to…” He started apologizing.

“I know…” She cut him off. “It would come up sooner or later.” A few seconds later she realized why Dean had said his name. “What makes you think it was him?”

Dean started explaining how he and Cas were friends, or so he thought they were, and how he always said he liked to torture people psychologically.

“It fits… He is making us feel bad mentally… He isn’t beating us up, but it’s almost the same thing…” Charlie agreed. “I can’t believe I called him your boyfriend.”

Disgust was the best word to explain Charlie’s voice. She was disgusted by Castiel, the person who ruined her life.

“I couldn’t believe it either, but now we just need to understand one thing… Why us?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate your comments so much! They are what keeps me going! Some make me smile because they are not so far from what I have planned, and some just make me happy that people actually have been thinking about this! ^^ So thank you very much for them!  
> Also, thanks for the Kudos, subsciptions and bookmarks, you are the best!


	12. Who did it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr: sofknowseverything.tumblr.com and hellaadestiel.tumblr.com

Chapter 12 – Who did it?

"Go away!"

"No… I want to talk to you."

"And I said, GO. AWAY!"

Things weren't going well for Sam. He still had Gabriel following him, and he was pissed. Not only because of the part where Gabriel was following him, but now he was also approaching him.

"Please!" He said as he tried to get Sam to look at him. "Just hear me out, kid!"

Sam stopped. He had been trying to run away from him, but it just wasn't working as well as he hoped it would go. He turned around and looked at Gabriel, waiting for him to continue.

"Thank you!" Gabriel said with a grin. "You probably know my name by now. I bet your brother has told you by now! Still, I feel like I need to tell you myself." He got himself closer to Sam and held out his hand for Sam to hold. "My name is Gabriel Novak, but you can call me Gabe. It's nice to meet you."

Reluctantly, Sam took his hand and shook it.

"I'm Sam." Sam didn't exactly want to tell him his name, but it was only fair… Gabriel had introduced himself to him. "I'm just not sure if I feel the same about meeting you."

Gabriel rolled his eyes. Their hands let go of each other and Gabriel started looking for something in his pocket.

Sam looked at him curiously.

"What are you trying to find in there?" He asked out of curiosity.

Gabriel smiled.

"Just the best thing in the WHOLE WORLD!" He yelled at Sam, his face all lit up.

Sam rolled his eyes.

"Which is…"

"CANDY!" His hand got back from his pocket and Gabriel started unwrapping a lollipop. He looked at Sam. "Do you want one? I think I have some more in my pocket."

Sam's eyes went wide.

"No! Thanks, but no!"

Gabriel seemed amused by his reaction.

"Oh really?" He asked as he placed the lollipop in his mouth for the first time. "Because these are JUST the best! You have absolutely no idea what you're missing out by not having one!"

"I don't want one!" Sam shook his head. "What do you want from me, anyway?"

Gabriel place one arm behind Sam's back, to get himself closer to the younger boy.

"You know kid, I like you. It took me almost two weeks to make you stop and listen."

"How about you go straight to the point?" Sam pouted interrupting Gabriel's rambling.

"Alright! You're spoiling my speech but alright! I want to know one thing." Gabriel stopped and faced Sam. Gabriel was only an inch taller than Sam, and he planned on using it in his favor, he stood as straight as he could to make himself taller. "Why does your brother have a wound like that in his arm?"

All of his being stopped – his breathing, his mouth fell open, his arms couldn't move, he was stuck in that question. Why did he ask that? As soon as he managed to regain the power to speak he did it.

"Excuse me?" For sure, Gabriel hadn't asked that… Did he? He must have heard it wrong!

"Why. Did. Your. Brother. Have. A. Wound. Like. That. In. His. Arm?" He asked pausing between each word to make sure Sam would understand clearly what he wanted to know.

Sam's breathing started increasing quickly. He wasn't sure what to say. Dean had told him he told the nurse he had fallen and got a stick stuck on his arm… Maybe he could say the same thing. He gulped and faced the floor.

"Hmm… Dean, hmm, he… He fell on the floor, we were racing home, and I guess he tripped… And he got a-a stick stuck in his arm."

Gabriel looked curiously at Sam as he took the lollipop out of his mouth.

"I don't believe you."

Sam's eyes shot up to meet Gabriel's.

"I think you're telling me the same thing Dean-o told Cassie… And I don't believe that story." Gabriel got himself between Sam and the path he wanted to take. His face looked serious, his eyes were fixed on Sam's; the lollipop was now hanging on his hand instead of being in his mouth. As his face got closer to Sam's, to make himself more intimidating, he spoke again. "So you better start talking."

Sam was afraid of what was going to happen. He couldn't tell him what John had done, but he was also afraid that Gabriel would hurt him if he didn't say anything.

"I can't tell you." He said simply. He couldn't really; he was terrified of what would happen if he told him.

"Let's try this one more time." Gabriel growled, trying to get Sam to break and start spilling the truth. "What happened to his arm?"

"I told you, I can't tell you." Sam shivered and he felt tears starting to gather in his eyes. Why was this happening to him? He didn't know.

Gabriel noticed Sam was on the verge of crying, so he took a different approach.

"Why are you about to cry?" He asked. "Did I make this to you? Are you just this weak, and can't handle a bit of pressure?"

"I-I…" Sam tried to speak, but he couldn't. He felt like he wasn't in control of his own body. He was being faced about the fact that his father wasn't a good one, and he couldn't say anything out of fear; Gabriel just wanted to know, and Sam wanted to tell him, he wanted the world to know, because maybe then they could just ran away from John, but he was too afraid to try it.

"I see… You're weak. You're a coward!" Gabriel smirked.

"I can tell you this."  _Man up, Sam! You're a Winchester after all!_  "I'm too afraid of the consequences to tell you what happened to Dean."  _It wasn't that bad… See… You did it! You admitted something, which is far more than saying absolutely nothing at all._

Gabriel furrowed his brows.

"What do you mean you're 'too afraid of the consequences'? Did someone do that to your brother?"

Gabriel didn't know exactly how bad it was exactly. He only knew what Castiel had told him, and it was only enough to get more information from Dean's little brother.

After telling just a bit to Gabriel, it was a bit easier to talk about it. Just to say little details, like admitting it had been someone, but he still couldn't say the whole thing.

"Yeah. That's exactly what I mean. I can't talk because  _someone_  will make it not worth it." Sam took a deep breath. "Now if you excuse me, I need to go to the library."

Sam shoved Gabriel from the way and started walking away.

Gabriel didn't know what to think. Someone was making both boys be afraid of what would happen if they told anyone what had happened. His brother wasn't going to be pleased.

* * *

"You're Charlie, right?"

Charlie glanced to her side and saw Balthazar standing there.

"What do you want?" She wasn't ready to talk to him. She wasn't ready to speak to anyone apart from Dean. But she couldn't exactly ignore Balthazar Novak.

"Hello Charlie! I just want to talk to you… I want to ask you something…" He spoke with a smile.

Charlie felt disgust. Was that the same thing Castiel had told Anna? Did he just _wanted to talk_ too?

"I'm listening, but that doesn't mean I will answer." She couldn't deal with anyone. So hearing the person out was the best way to do it. If he said anything about Anna, then he would regret it; if he didn't, maybe she would answer.

"I like you Charlie…" Balthazar admitted with a smile. "And I want to help you… By helping your friend… So tell me… What happened to Dean's arm?"

She wasn't expecting this. With everything he could possibly want, why did he have to ask that?

"He got a stick in there I believe." She replied. Charlie was a great liar. She could trick almost anyone into believing she was speaking the truth… She just hoped she could fool him too.

"I don't believe you."

_So much for lying._

"I don't know… He didn't tell me anything."  _Playing the victim always helps… Dean didn't exactly tell me, I guessed who did it and he complimented with how John did it…_

"And why don't I believe that?" Balthazar's smile was starting to disappear. "You are his best friend! Of course he told you how he got it!"

"If you know that, then you probably know that best friends don't spill out everything they know about the other! We promise not to tell anyone!"

Balthazar was starting to get tired of this.

"Why can't you answer a simple question? I just want to know how did he get his arm like that! So  _please_  tell me!"

"No!"

Charlie wasn't going to tell. John had never threatened her before, but there was always a first time for everything, and if she was going to tell the truth, he kinda scared her. She admired Dean for living with him, and getting through all that just to spare Sam. She was proud of Dean's strength, and she was also sad that he had to live like that. So she tried to make him happy whenever they were together, because she knew that was one of the only moments that he would actually smile and be happy.

"Why?" Since he couldn't get what he wanted, he tried to get another answer, one that maybe would help.

"Because that will make it worse!" She spoke without really thinking. "And I can't make it worse!"

Balthazar eyed her carefully. He knew when it was enough. He knew that she was already broken; he made sure she would see when Castiel and Anna were going at it, so she was easy to break a bit more, only this time, he needed her to talk.

"If you tell me, why will that make it worse?"

Charlie realized what she had said a few seconds after saying it. She was in shock with herself, how could she do it? How could she tell a  _Novak_  that?!

"Forget it." She said.

"No." Balthazar insisted.

"I SAID FORGET IT!" She yelled at him in frustration as she started running away from him.

"Now that was interesting!" Balthazar said to himself with a smile.

* * *

"Cassie! I have some news!" Balthazar said as he approached his brother.

Just behind him, Gabriel was walking to them with a grin.

"Hey, bros! I have some interesting stuff to tell you."

They walked to an empty classroom, it was easy to find one, because the school day had just ended.

"Who's going first?" Castiel asked as he sat himself on the closer desk.

Balthazar and Gabriel exchanged some glances, and Balthazarsat himself next to Castiel.

"Charlie said something… She said that if she told me 'it would make it worse'… I don't know what to make of it… But it can't be good." Balthazar informed.

"Let's see if Gabe found anything that we can use to understand." Castiel said.

Gabriel got himself a candy from his pocket and sat on an empty chair, putting it in front of the table where his brothers were sitting.

"Well… Little Sammy Winchester, gave me something juicy." He said with a smirked as he chewed on the candy.

"Go on…" Castiel scuffed.

"He said that he was too scared to talk. He was scared of the consequences… And you know what  _anyone_  would make out of that? Someone is bullying them really bad. He wouldn't say who did it, but he agreed that there was someone."

All three of them thought for a while. Gathering the new information hadn't ben easy. They had to make them weak before going after them. And even with that they weren't that easy to break at all.

"I guess this means," Balthazar started. "that if they won't talk, we need to find out for ourselves."

Castiel rolled his eyes.

"Assbutts! I told you it had been someone already. You should have tried to find out  _who_!" he scolded them.

"Yeah… We know. But you also said you weren't sure, right? So know we have this piece of information  _for sure!_ " Gabriel said with a grin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this far! Someone asked me to make the chapters longer, do you agree or not? Let me know what you think, so that I can make you all enjoy this as much as possible.  
> Thank you for the comments! They help me improve and know that you're enjoying this! ~they also keep me away from TUMBLR so that I can write more chapter to you all~


	13. Big Talks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr: sofknowseverything.tumblr.com and hellaadestiel.tumblr.com

Chapter 13 – Big Talks

"Where is it?"

Dean looked confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you try to fool me, Dean Winchester!" Charlie said as she hit him in the arm.

"Aw!" He hissed. "There's no need to do that! I don't know what you're talking about!"

Charlie tried to calm herself down.

"Your cellphone. Where is it?" She asked.

Dean fished his phone from his pocket.

"Here." He said confused.

She rolled her eyes.

"Then why didn't you answer it, you moron?"

Dean unlocked his phone and saw that there were five missed calls from Charlie, and six texts also from her.

"I'm sorry, Charlie… I didn't notice."

"Yeah sure… Whatever you say. Now… Are we going to class?" She asked. Dean looked at her confused.  _Didn't she want to talk to me? And now she's asking that we go to class?_

"Sure…"

They walked together since they were having the same class, in a peaceful silence, which was something pretty rare for them. As they reached the classroom, Charlie sat herself beside Dean.

"Did you want to talk to me?" He asked slowly, not sure what Charlie had wanted from him. He decided to check what her messages said.

' _Balthazar started talking to me. Call me.'_

_'He wanted to know what happened to your arm. Call me!'_

_'Are you there, dumbass? He just wouldn't give up! Call me!'_

_'CAALL MEEEEE!'_

_'If you won't call me, and won't answer your phone… You must hate me…'_

_'What?! That didn't work!? What's wrong with you Dean?! CALL ME!'_

Dean could see the desperation that Charlie had just by reading her texts, he should have picked up the phone. She even used the 'you must hate me' card! As he blamed himself for not picking up the phone, he started apologizing.

"Sorry, Charlie… I didn't remember that it was in silent mode. It doesn't ring nor does it shake… I didn't know you were trying to talk to me! Please don't stay mad at me!" He begged her, his hands on her shoulders, pulling her into a hug.

Charlie smiled. She wanted him to understand why she needed to talk to him, since she got the status of a honorary Winchester, it was easy to understand that she was just as stubborn as any other Winchester himself. She would never tell something, she just waited for him to understand what was wrong, unless she really, really needed help.

"It's alright… I know you didn't do it on purpose." Charlie muttered against his skin, embracing him too.

"So, he wanted you to them him what happened to my arm… Could you figure out why?" Dean was unsure. Charlie probably figured it out and he was scared of why he wanted to know, but he felt like he needed to ask it.

Dean let go of Charlie and looked her in the eyes, trying to understand what he could do to make her feel better about the situation, and also trying to understand what happened exactly.

"No… He wouldn't let me ask anything. The only thing I could do was answer him." Dean saw Charlie's cheeks gain a bit of color as she talked. She looked nervous, and one thing that Charlie Bradbury never is, is nervous.

"What did you say to him?" He might not be Sherlock Holmes, but he could figure that she looked guilty, right after she said 'The only thing I could do was answer him', that always meant something.

Her eyes were fixed on the floor between their bodies. She stayed still for a few seconds before she sighed and looked into Dean's impossibly green eyes.

"I said that I wouldn't make it worse." She muttered lightly. She was ashamed of what she said. She never wanted to betray Dean, but it kinda got impossible for her to control her tongue. "I'm sorry Dean. I didn't mean to say it!" As the words came out of her mouth, Dean saw that Charlie was about to cry. She was still very sensitive and the whole situation with the Novaks only made it worse. She didn't need Dean to make her feel even worse.

"I know." He said as he pulled her close again. Charlie buried her face in his neck and calmed herself down. "I know that you only wanted to protect me. It's okay, Charlie…"

As she tried to snuggle closer, she replied a very low, "Thanks Dean."

The teacher walked in and they got themselves apart from each other and waited for the lesson to get started.

* * *

It was late at night. Dean was sitting in his bed and he could see that Sam was already sound asleep. And he let his mind wander.

His first thoughts went to Charlie, he was sad that she wasn't her usual self and that she would have a break down whenever she remembered the Novaks. He didn't like to see her hurting like that, and he promised himself to do  _everything_  he could to make her smile more often.

Dean glanced again at Sam and his mind focused on him. He had no idea if Sam still had Gabriel in his tail. Sam only said that he asked Gabriel to leave him alone, his actual words were 'yelled' but that was just a detail, and walked away from him. He was concerned that Sam hadn't told him everything; he didn't look at Dean's eyes when they talked, and he usually did that whenever he wasn't comfortable with something. Dean couldn't help but get worried over it. Sam never hid things from him. They had a very firm relationship; they never had secrets to each other because they depended on the other and any secret could damage the entire thing.

As he thought of damage, he found himself thinking about how Crowley and the gang hadn't been too bad for him lately. They were almost never after him anymore, and only when they saw him in the hallway they smirked and walked to him. They wouldn't be as cruel as before, but were still quite mean to him.

He started remembering the day when Castiel defended him from them, and couldn't stop the red that spread in his cheeks. He felt like a girl, but he couldn't help it. Sam turned around in his bed and Dean jumped slightly in fear of being caught day dreaming about his crush. Even after all the things Castiel had done since their first talk, Dean still had a crush on him. He grabbed his pillow and buried his face in it, in case Sam woke up and saw Dean blushing.

Dean peeked slightly and saw Sam still sleeping peacefully. A smile glanced in his face as he glanced to the clock and saw that it was almost 11:30pm. He decided to lie down and wait for sleep to come. Still hugging his pillow and thinking of Cas, he drifted to sleep.

* * *

It was Wednesday morning, and Castiel was tired of waiting. He started walking and saw Dean pulling stuff from his locker. He marched towards him and closed the locker door for him.

"Hey!" Dean said a bit in shock by a closing door. It could have closed with his hand still inside!

Castiel rolled his eyes.

"Spare me, Dean. I need to talk to you." He started walking away, not glancing towards Dean because he knew the other would follow.

A bit confused to what Castiel could want now and what he would do, Dean followed him.

As they entered an empty room, Cas stopped and stared right into Dean's eyes. Dean stopped walking almost at the same moment Castiel did. The intensity in his blue eyes made Dean shiver.

"Who did that to your arm?" Castiel spared all greetings. He just went directly to the question that had been bothering him.

"Hello to you too Cas." Dean said not pleased with Castiel's question.

Castiel looked at him and huffed.

"I said: Who did that to your arm?" He asked again, this time a bit more impatient.

Dean didn't know what to do. He felt like running away. He wasn't the awkward school girl who couldn't talk to her crush. No, Dean was more like fearing his crush would find out he had a crush on him and make his life a living hell, and there was always the fact that he wanted to know everything that Dean couldn't tell him.

"I told you before. I can't tell you." He faced the floor because it was easier to talk to; the floor wouldn't look pissed at Dean for not telling him.

Castiel walked towards Dean and smacked him in his left arm.

"Alright. I figured you wouldn't say it. But you admitted to have that wound because someone did something to you." Castiel's gaze was murderous. Dean gulped loudly in fear of what would happen when he refused to tell Cas again.

"I really can't tell you." Dean said closing his eyes waiting for the pain.

"You know what? Screw you! If you won't tell me I will make sure to find out on my own!"

Dean opened his eyes wide, his mouth falling open to Castiel's words.

"You can't." Dean told him.

Castiel barked out a laugh.

"Just watch me!" He said as he started walking away from Dean.

Dean was in shock, but there was not shock that would make him so stiff that he wouldn't defend himself. He grabbed Cas's arm and pulled him away from the door.

Very shocked with Dean, Castiel looked back and saw the scared, but determined look in Dean's face.

"Why can't I find out?" He asked Dean, not moving from where he had been sent.

_Why did I do that? Did I really pulled him?! Oh God! I'm so stupid! He's going to kill me now!_

Despite his internal monologue, Dean still heard Castiel talking to him. For a few seconds he remained quiet, searching for the best way to put it. He really couldn't have Castiel finding out it had been his dad. Not because it was Cas, but because John would kill anyone that knew about it. If Castiel knew he would probably confront him, and that would be his biggest mistake. He would never walk alive after confronting John Winchester. His arm was still holding Castiel's and he didn't plan on letting go of it just yet.

"Because I can't have anyone finding this out Cas." He faced the floor as he searched for more words. "Please… Please don't try to find out. It will hurt me, it will hurt Sammy and it will hurt you. So please let it be and don't find out."

Castiel was a confused. Why was Dean making such a big deal out of it? And why was he saying it would hurt him?! He tilted his head slightly as he thought and he glanced at his arm. It was unexpected that Dean was touching him. He had never done that on his own. The only time they had touched each other was because Castiel had started it or because Dean was about to fall to the floor. But this time… This time Dean was taking control. He was the one ruling the situation, and because it was unexpected, Castiel let him. He wanted to see what Dean would do next.

"Why would I be hurt?" He asked.

"Because that what happens when someone finds out." Dean said, looking guilty. The only person besides Charlie who had found out was Ruby, a girl from Sam's class. One day she decided to confront him and John hit her. As soon as Dean could he jumped in to make John stop hit her, hitting him instead. John didn't believe any of them hadn't told her so he punished Dean for being such a spoiled brat telling everyone what he did when his boys didn't 'behave'. Dean still felt responsible for what John had done to Ruby, the girl was only trying to help, but now Dean knew that he couldn't let  _anyone,_  no matter who, find out. "And I can't have anyone being hurt because of it again. So please, Cas… I beg you. Don't go and try to find out… Please."

Without knowing why, Castiel found himself agreeing on not trying to find out.

"I promise I won't Dean." He said as he freed himself from Dean's grip. "For now…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I didn't post this sooner, but I'm sick and I couldn't find it in me to write. I did my best in this chapter, and I hope you enjoy it! I wanted to thank everyone who commented last chapter! It motivated me to write despite being sick.  
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter, leave your thoughts about this one, please!


	14. I like candy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr: sofknowseverything.tumblr.com and hellaadestiel.tumblr.com

Chapter 14 – I like candy

As he walked out of the room, Castiel was debating with himself.

_Why did I agree with him? Why did I promise I wouldn't try to find out! I really want to know, so why… I never give up on what I want! Was it because he went all determined? Was it because I believed in him, that I would get hurt? I can’t try to find out now! I can be mean, but I never break my promises! I just wanted to understand why I promised him that! But… Why promise not to find out?!_

He was mad at himself. He wanted to find out, now more than ever, who hurt Dean, but he had been stupid enough to promise not doing anything. It was not just because he wanted to know, it bothered him _not_ to know.

The hallways were deserted so he could walk to everywhere, anywhere, and no one would bother him to show just how evil they can be. He walked without a destiny in his mind, just thinking about the whole situation.

As he reached the bathroom door he walked inside. The water started coming from the tap, his hands cupped and he splashed water all over his face. When he wasn’t sure what to think, the soothing feeling of water always seemed to help him think and calm down. He repeated the motion a few more times until he felt like himself again.

He buried every doubt he had and faced the mirror. The person in the mirror had water all over his face, looked tired and didn’t look like him at all. His blue eyes were brighter than usual because of his blue shirt, and he used them to stare at himself. His hair was kind of combed so he took the chance to make it more like himself; he cupped his hands again and placed some water in his hair, then he proceeded to shake his head, making his hair go every way ending up even more messy than before. With one more look to the mirror, that was now full of droplets of water, he smiled and walked away from the bathroom, his face and hair with droplets falling down.

A few people passed by him with smiled directed at him but he chose to ignore them all. He didn’t feel like pretending to sound impressed or amused by whatever they had to say to him. Why couldn’t they understand that he simply _didn’t care_ , everything was too boring and he hated when things were that were expected actually happened. He liked to be free and do whatever he pleased, that was why he liked to rule the school, everything that happened, happened because of him, and they were always different so he was never bored by it, and now that he had found himself someone who was so different of all of them, he couldn’t find out why he was that way.

He had classes to attend and he planned on going. He liked classes; he just didn’t like his classmates, so he made their life as bad as he could, all with a smile in his face.

He was about to enter his classroom, that was half filled with people when his brother walked towards him, grabbing his arm and pulling him out of the doorway.

“Cassie!” Gabriel said excitedly as he pulled him. “How are you, little bro?”

Castiel shoved Gabriel’s hand away and looked at him slightly annoyed.

“I’m fine, Gabe. What do you want?”

Gabriel was shorter than his brothers, but he was the most energetic of them all. Probably because of all the candy he ate, but no one questioned it... Ever.

“Can’t I just come by and say ‘Hi’ to my baby brother?” Gabriel did his best to sound hurt.

“You can, Gabe… But you never do that… So what do you want?”

He understood that something was up with Castiel. He was pissed at something, and Gabriel could feel it.

“What can I do now to find the truth?” He asked trying to calm his brother down. It was bad when he got angry, he became too unpredictable, even to his own brothers who knew him better than anyone else.

Castiel thought about Gabriel’s question for a few seconds. As soon as he got the idea, a smirk came gracing his features.

“Well… I promised I wouldn’t find the truth… But you didn’t.” As he saw the confused look in Gabriel’s face he started explaining. “I promised Dean I wouldn’t try to figure who did it… But that doesn’t mean that I can’t ask _you_ to find it out for me.”

“Alright! I can find out!” Gabriel said excitedly as he prepared himself to leave.

Castiel grabbed Gabriel’s shirt and hold him.

“You need to be careful. He can’t find out that you’re trying to find out the truth. You need to find a way to understand it without him knowing what you’re doing.” Castiel warned.

Gabriel nodded.

“No problem. I know just what I need to do.” Castiel let go of his brother. “I’ll see you later, bro.”

* * *

 

Gabriel was waiting for the right moment. He didn’t want to go in too soon, but he knew that he had to do it sometime. It was early in the morning and he was waiting for Sam Winchester to show up at the path between high school and middle school. He couldn’t just jump on the guy when his brother was around. He needed to wait for Dean to leave to actually go talk to Sam.

He saw Sam waving at his brother as they reached the point where they go their separate ways. As soon as Dean was off, Gabriel walked towards Sam.

“Hey, Sam!” He greeted once the other boy was close enough to him.

Sam’s neck gave a slight turn to make sure of who had spoken and continued walking.

“What do you want, Gabriel?” Sam asked annoyed to have Gabriel following him. _It’s too soon to deal with this crap._

Gabriel smiled and placed his arm in Sam’s shoulders.

“I just want to talk to you.” He answered.

Sam stopped walking to look at him carefully.

“That’s unfortunate. You see… I don’t want to talk to you.”

“I know…” Gabriel told him, his head falling a bit to the front. “But I really, really, really, reaaaally need to ask you something.” As Sam looked at him expectantly and gave him a slight nod as if telling him to continue talking, Gabriel looked at Sam with a bothered look. “How the hell don’t you like candy?!”

As soon as he spoke, Sam threw his head down and his laughter echoed in the street.

Confused by Sam’s reaction, Gabriel looked at him his face full of questioning marks.

“What’s so funny?”

Sam laughed for a few more seconds, before trying to calm himself down. As soon as he thought he was done laughing, another guffaw was heard, each of them stronger than the last. It took him a minute to actually stop laughing. Gabriel was still trying to understand what was so funny about the whole situation.

“Were you really that bothered because you thought I didn’t like candy?” He asked, with a full smile plastered in his face.

“Well… You didn’t take the candy I offered and I’ve never met someone who refuses FREE candy!”

“Just because I refused it doesn’t mean I don’t like candy!” Sam explained with a laugh.

Gabriel blushed slightly. This hadn’t been the best plan he had come up with, but it was the easiest one to follow through. He was a bit embarrassed by Sam’s reaction.

“Then why didn’t you take the candy I offered?!” He asked defending his idea.

Sam shook his head slightly, his shoulders trembling with the short takes of laughter that were still coming to him.

“I just didn’t want to eat your candy!” As his words, Gabriel looked hurt.

“Did you think I poisoned them? Do you really think so low of me?” He asked, as his body began to shrink in fear of the answer. He didn’t like to be considered so lowly. He liked to be the one who was always happy, without a care in the world. But words like those hurt him.

“No.” Sam answered honestly. “I just hate when people eat my candy… So I don’t go to others requesting that they feed me candy.”

As soon as his words were out, Gabriel gave a relieved breath, followed shortly by a smile.

“Yeah, well dumbass, if someone asks you if you want candy, it’s because they’re willing to share their candy with you!”

Sam blushed.

“I know… but when I offer my candy I don’t always want people to accept them.” He muttered in a low voice.

Gabriel looked at him, his smile growing.

“Let’s try this again…” He offered his hand for Sam to take. “My name is Gabriel. You can call me Gabe if you want. Would you like some candy?”

After a few seconds of staring to Gabriel, Sam decided himself. A smile graced his features as he replied.

“Hey, Gabe. I’m Sam. I would really appreciate some candy.” He took Gabriel’s hand in his and shook it.

With his other hand, Gabriel fished two lollipops out of his trouser pocket and handed both to Sam.

“Which one do you want?” he asked him politely. _It’s all about the attitude. If you act nice, then he will most likely befriend you!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot for all the Kudos you left, some comments would be much appreciated for this chapter. I'm sorry this one is shorter, but I felt like stopping there. Adding more to it didn't seem good... So yeah, sorry if it's too short. I'll try to make the next one bigger. ^-^


	15. He’s my new toy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me so long to write! I had half of it written, but I couldn't find the right words to say what I wanted to. I hope you like it this way. If you don't I'm so sorry!!! But I really struggled with it.  
> Follow me on tumblr: sofknowseverything.tumblr.com and hellaadestiel.tumblr.com

Chapter 15 – He’s my new toy

Balthazar and Castiel entered the school, talking to each other.

“So that’s why Gabe stayed behind!” Balthazar said excitedly after hearing the new plan. “But why don’t I get to be part of it?”

Castiel rolled his eyes. Why did he have to deal with people that just couldn’t understand him? It should be clear to everyone why it needed to be Gabe befriending Sam…

_I’m surrounded by idiots._

“Because Gabe was already teamed up with Sam. We need continuity if we want to know anything at all… He needs to feel like he can trust us. And if I had sent you instead of Gabe, he would have thought it was suspicious…. It’s better this way.” He explained to Balthazar to make himself clear as to why it needed to be Gabriel. “And I also need you here with me.”

Balthazar smiled brightly. He loved it when he had an important task, it usually meant that he could do whatever he wanted-he could fuck up everything to succeed in his task.

“What can I help with?”

Castiel was about to speak when he saw Dean walking in the end of the hallway. Something in him stopped and he forgot what he was about to say.

Near them, the sound of three guys talking made him look at them.

“Hey, Mr. Winchester is over there… Let’s go say hello!” Azazel pointed out with a grin in his lips as he saw Dean.

“Yeah. Let’s wish him a good morning.” Alastair agreed, thinking about everything he could use near Dean to torture him.

Crowley grinned and clapped his hands together in amusement.

“Let’s go boys! Mr. Winchester has other things to do with his day!”

They started walking towards him with Crowley leading the way.

Before he could refrain himself, an angry Castiel left a smirking Balthazar behind, and grabbed Crowley, yanking him against the wall.

Everything in the world lost his value to him. Nothing else mattered apart of what he was doing. Every sound, every image, anything at all besides Crowley was darkened to Castiel. He couldn’t concentrate in anything else apart from Crowley.

“If you so much as think about touching Dean I’ll end you.” His voice was full of hatred as he pushed Crowley further into the wall. He meant every word he said; and everyone listening could hear him loud and clear.

 “And why would you do such a thing?” Crowley asked a bit afraid of Castiel at the moment, but still dared to talk back to him. “Is he that precious to you?”

Cas’s eyes were full of hatred as he looked to Crowley’s. His grip tightened on Crowley’s shoulder and arm, making the other boy look surprised and even flinch slightly.

“That’s because he is mine.” Castiel growled as he pushed Crowley even more against the wall; Making himself as clear as possible he added “He’s my new toy.” He said as he let go, with Crowley stumbling slightly, trying to get himself together again. He looked at his gang and motioned for them to walk with him away from there.

As they walked away, Castiel’s anger started dissipating. He could hear what everyone in the hallway was saying and the sound that made him turn was the really loud laugh that came from Balthazar.

Cas looked to the sides before moving and shouted to everyone there.

“WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!” And so he started walking towards his brother.

Behind Balthazar he could see Dean watching him from afar. He looked shocked with what just happened. Soon he shook his head and started walking away with his head down.

Without thinking about it, Castiel followed Dean, keeping some distance between them.

As he walked, Dean kept bringing himself down.

_He doesn’t care about you. No one does. Why would he anyway? Why would you even try to believe that anyone would care about you? You’re nothing. You’re worthless. Anyone is better than you. If they wanted they could find just point at a random person and that person would still be better than you._

While saying those things to himself, Dean stopped walking only to start running. He ran with only a place in his mind. He felt sick. So he ran to the bathroom.

Castiel followed suit but he didn’t want Dean to know he was after him, so he waited for Dean to get inside the bathroom and gave him a few seconds. He was waiting outside, and when he thought it was safe, he opened the door slightly and peeked inside. The room was empty; if he didn’t know better he would think no one was in there. He walked inside, without making any noise, and he started hearing a muffled cry. He spotted Dean kneeling inside one of the stalls and suddenly Cas didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know why he followed Dean. He didn’t know what he wanted to do now that he got Dean alone. He didn’t know if he wanted to do anything or just laugh at the other’s misery. He was so confused.

Inside the stalls, Dean didn’t listen the door opening, he was too busy trying to not to make any sound, trying to calm himself down as he had his panic attack.

_No one will ever care about you. You’re worthless. You’re better dead. Why would he want to be your friend? He only wants a new toy. That is all you are to everyone. You’re everyone’s toy._

Dean was trembling against the wall; and he felt sick. As quickly as his body would let him, he opened the toilet sit and started throwing up. He calmed down a bit after throwing up, but he was still crying. Dean sat himself down on the floor, letting the cold under him sooth his aching body. He hated himself for being so weak. He wanted to be able to ignore Castiel’s words, but they were loud and clear in his mind, just like his dad’s.

“Are you alright?” Castiel’s voice startled Dean. _What’s he doing in here? Does he want to make me feel even worse? I can’t take it._

“Go away.” Dean replied in a weak voice.

A sigh was heard, followed by steps. But he didn’t hear door opening. All that was heard was the other stall, the one in Dean’s left, being opened, just to be closed quickly.

With his head resting in his knees, Dean let out a shaky breath.

“Please… Leave me alone.” He begged Castiel.

“No.” The other answered him firmly. “I’m not going away.”

A sudden rage filled Dean and he wanted let himself be heard. He wanted Cas to know just how bad he made him feel.

Castiel, who had climbed the toilet sit to peek on Dean, found the other boy on the floor.

_This is interesting. But why is he so upset? I just said he was my toy. Only mine to play with. What’s wrong about that?_

“I hate you.” Dean told him, his voice starting to become powerful.

As he heard Dean’s words, Castiel laughed.

“Is that so?” Cas wasn’t sure how to react to Dean’s words. In some way they hurt him, but in the other, they made him want to find out why Dean hated him. “Are you going to explain why?” Castiel wanted to know so bad that he didn’t even realize he had asked the question until it was too late.

Dean’s crying calmed down slightly until he was just sobbing. He didn’t raise his head from his knees, just kept himself in the same spot.

“You want to know why I hate you?” He asked Castiel, not actually wanting him to reply. “I hate you because of many things. I hate you because you tried to find out who hurt me. I hate you because you hurt Charlie. I hate you because you made Sammy fear what your brother would do to him. I hate you because I thought you were my friend… You made me think I could trust you… And then you do what everyone else does. You betrayed my trust in you.”

Tears were falling free in Dean’s face again. But he chose to ignore them, he could only think about how hurt he felt.

“I never said I was your friend.” Castiel said. “So that one is your fault. I’m going to tell you something… When I want to know something I will do anything to know it. If that means to hurt your friend, be it. If that means that I scare your brother, be it. Because finding the truth is worth everything. And if I had the power to go back in time and re-do things I would do everything the same way again. But then again, maybe not; I would probably try with another way to find it out. I never asked you to trust me. In fact I didn’t know I was your friend, it’s not my fault that you thought I was.” Castiel told him, his voice full of confusion, he tried to hide the smirk he had on his lips when he spoke. “Why would you think that I wanted to be your friend anyway?”

Castiel’s words were worse than any physical contact Dean had ever received. One thing was he thinking to himself that he was worthless. Other thing was his dad saying it him. And the worst of them all was Cas saying it to him. His throat was aching from all the crying. He didn’t feel as sick as before, but he wasn’t completely ok. Castiel’s words set him into another fit of tears. This time he let out a muffled cry.

“I thought you were my friend because you came to me.” Dean told him, his voice full of pain. “And you kept coming.  And that made me believe that you cared. You even let me give you a nickname, for god’s sake! Why would you even want to be my friend anyway?!”

As Dean’s words hit Cas, he didn’t know what to think. He wanted to understand what he meant with it. Was that really what he did? Did he really give hope to Dean? The nickname part was true, but he didn’t feel like talking to Dean was giving him hope.

“You have friends, Dean.” Castiel hated when people cried. Not because it made them weak, or because they got too clingy. It was because they had too much pain in them, and he couldn’t watch people cry. It made him feel guilty for a few seconds, before he realized that it wasn’t entirely his fault. He had indeed been the last straw, but that only meant they had more pain in themselves than they cared to admit. “Why do you think so lowly of yourself?”

Dean let out a shaky laugh. Wasn’t it funny that the person who made you cry was also the one who was trying to convince you that you’re not that bad?

“That’s because I only have Sammy and Charlie. No one ever gave me a reason to believe that I’m worth any friendship.” He admitted. His tears were now drying, and he felt a bit stronger. That’s what people say, isn’t it? _What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger_. Dean felt like he was wiser than before, he now knew that he couldn’t trust anyone. Only his true family and that was just Charlie, Bobby and Sam.  “I don’t need anyone else. I’m better off alone.”

Dean got himself up and opened the door. He went straight to the sink and cleaned himself with water from the tap. Soon he was walking to the door, and noticed Castiel still standing in in front of his own stall.

“What do you want?” Dean asked him, not caring if he upset Cas.

Castiel blinked. Why was Dean so different from everyone else? He could never understand how Dean had changed so much in such a short period of time. Where once was filled fear, was left with nothing. It was like Dean was empty from every emotion Castiel had known in him.

“Why are you like this?” He asked out of curiosity.

Dean seemed surprised with Castiel’s question.

“Like what?” He asked, not really understanding what Cas meant.

Castiel gave him a head tilt before answering.

“So different from everyone else.”

Dean’s eyes hardened.

“That’s because too much shit happened.” He said before opening the door, leaving Castiel behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you thought... I'm really insecure about this chapter!! So I need your feedback before I start writting the next chapter!


	16. It’s time to make a change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr: sofknowseverything.tumblr.com and hellaadestiel.tumblr.com

Castiel was standing alone in the bathroom. Dean had left him there and he had no idea for how long he had been there already. No one had come inside, but he heard people passing by the door. He couldn’t move himself. His mind was screaming, and he just didn’t know how to control it.

_WHAT HAPPENED?! WHY DID HE SAY THAT? HOW DID HE CHANGE? HOW MUCH ‘SHIT’ DID IT TAKE TO MAKE HIM CHANGE LIKE THAT!? WHY DIDN’T I STOP HIM FROM WALKING AWAY? COULD IT HAVE BEEN ME WHO CHANGED HIM? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?_

Not only was Castiel confused, but he was starting to feel dizzy. He had too many things on his mind, and he felt like he couldn’t stand for much longer. He leaned against the cold wall behind him. His confusion grew as time passed-and as his thoughts played with him, the more confused he became. Dean’s explanation for how he had changed wasn’t helping. In fact, it puzzled Castiel even more. Saying that he had been through too much made him wonder, was he talking about what happened at school? Or was it something else? Did it have anything to do with who gave him that scar? Castiel decided that it probably did; he remembered how scared Dean was of him finding out. It only made sense that the one who did that to him was the one who made him get through too much; above the fact that everyone in school made him feel like shit. But that must have been light for Dean, since what made him snap was that Castiel made him believe that he cared about Dean, when he only really wanted a new toy. He decided that Dean must have been hurt by someone close to him too many times, that was the only way. He had let him in, only to be stabbed in the back. He could almost instantly confirm that this was what had made him say ‘ _No one ever gave me a reason to believe that I’m worth any friendship_ ’. No one ever stayed with him; they played with him or they bullied him.

A ringing bell startled Castiel, and he figured it was time to leave the bathroom; he had been there for far too long and the cold white walls were making him feel worse-made him feel small, while they stood proud and tall above him. They reminded him that he wasn’t as great as he made himself out to be.

He left the bathroom and walked to class. His face sported a look of pure confusion, accompanied with his usual head tilt. After what happened, he was only certain of one thing; he simply had to find out what made Dean so tough. He needed to find out, or curiosity would indeed kill him.

* * *

Everything felt different. As much as nothing changed, everything was different. Walking those hallways without giving a crap about what others would think made everything different.

He walked like he wasn’t afraid; like he was really there, like he really mattered. While he was always the kind of person who hid away from everyone else, either to protect himself or just because he didn’t want to draw attention, now he found he just didn’t care. He had as much right to be himself in those hallways as anyone else had; and this was something he’d only realized now.

People started staring as they saw him walking by, walking like any of them would, walking with their style.  But they didn’t say anything, their mouths were open and they couldn’t be blamed for it. They weren’t used to Dean being so carefree; he had always been the shy guy and that’s what everyone knew about him. That’s what he wanted them to know about him.

As he walked through the crowded hallways, he managed to get his mind set on what to do next.

_Everything is going to be different now. I’m done with being the one who can’t defend himself. I want to be strong for Sammy and for Charlie. I want to be able to protect them if the time comes… It’s time… I know what I have to do. It’s time to make a change._

Soon people returned to their usual nonchalant state and stopped staring at Dean, who continued walking through them, seemingly unstoppable.

The room he wanted to reach had never been easier to get to. He didn’t have to be careful because of possible bullies that he could find (Castiel had claimed him as his ‘new toy’ no one would dare mess with him now), and even if they did, he could always shut them with his words.

He knocked on the wooden door and waited for permission to be let in.

“Come in.” Mr. Lafitte answered.

Dean opened the door and walked inside the room.

“Hey Dean. How are you?” Mr. Lafitte said with an easy smile.

Dean looked at his teacher’s eyes and smiled.

“Much better now.” He replied in earnest. “But I’m still not good enough. I need your help.”

Mr. Lafitte frowned.

“What can I do for you?”

Dean sat himself in the chair in front of Mr. Lafitte’s desk and took a deep breath. He swallowed his pride and did the one thing he swore never to do. He asked for help.

“I need you to teach me to fight back.”

Hi answer wasn’t what the teacher was expecting. It took him a few moments to get the smile in his face again.

“I’m glad you decided to take my offer. Though I would rather that you had accepted it before.”

“I know.” Dean told him, making himself comfortable in his chair. “It took me long enough to realize that I don’t have to get beaten up by everyone. I can change myself; and with that, everyone around me. But to do that I need to defend myself. I want to be able to take care of Sammy and Charlie.”

Dean was proud of himself. He was indeed growing up. Not only he asked for help, but he also realized how important it was that he changed.  He could be a king if he decided to take the hand that had been offered to him.

“That’s the first step. You accepted that you need help, Dean. Now it’s going to be much easier. This is what’s going to make you stronger. You have all that you need to become stronger: you have a purpose for it. You want to take care of those who are important to you.” Mr. Lafitte was as proud of Dean as the boy was of himself. Mr. Lafitte had been watching Dean being everyone’s scapegoat for far too long; he was more than ready to teach him how to become the man that he should be.

“I know, sir. That is what made me realize that I can to be strong. I have to be strong because there are only a few people that matter to me, and they are going to be the people who help me become what they need me to be. And that is their older brother, their savior, the one they can come to when they need help.”

It was amazing that Dean had gotten there all by himself. After years of thinking that he was worthless, that he didn’t matter, to suddenly find his purpose on his own was an astronomical feat.

Mr. Lafitte hummed in agreement.

“You can be all that Dean. But you can also be ‘Dean’, the one they know, not the person who helps them. You need to remember that you will change a lot while I teach you how to defend yourself, but you also need to remember who you were before. You can’t start being someone else just because you know how to fight. You have to remember what made you strong, so that you can become as great as you can learn to be.” He warned with a serious look on his face, trying to show Dean just how important it was to remember what made him change, and what was so important about his past. “Your past defines you Dean. You were weak until the moment you realized that you needed help. Asking for help only makes you stronger than everyone else; it means you have an ally, someone you can trust, someone that can help you when you need help. They won’t have anyone like that because they’re too proud to even think about asking for help. They’re convinced they’re invincible, to cover up the fact that in reality? They’re just weak. They’re weak because they use people who won’t defend themselves to feel stronger; they’re weak because they won’t ask for help; and most of all, they’re weak because they only care about what others think. You’re so much better than all of them, Dean. You gave everything you knew up because you felt that you were ready to become stronger. I’m proud of you.”

Dean’s mouth was slightly open. He had never thought about how important it was to do this; to get someone to give him advice when he needed it; or even just to make him realize how stupid he had been. But Mr. Lafitte’s words were true, he could tell they were because he felt  stronger when he decided to ask for help; he felt stronger when he knocked on his door; he felt stronger after asking his teacher for help. He just didn’t expect Mr. Lafitte to tell him that his past was important. He wanted to forget how pathetic he was, he wanted to erase every bit of memory he had that would make him feel worthless again. But his teacher’s words were true. It was enough to make him really think, and their truth influenced a change in his mind. His pain would be what would make him be great; it wouldn’t just be his family, it wouldn’t be that he was sick of being bullied, no. It was going to be the fact that he had been everyone’s punching bag; it would be the fact that he had been through so much pain that no could even dare to imagine. That was what would make him stronger.

“Then that’s what I’ll do.” Dean told him with a determined look in his eyes. “I’m going to be as good as I can, always reminding myself that I was under their control.”

“You will do that, but you will also remember how it felt to be under someone else’s control… If you don’t, Dean, you will become even worse than they were to you.” It was true, it felt true. Dean didn’t want to be like them. He wanted to be able to protect those who couldn’t protect themselves.

“I know. I’ll be ‘Dean’, the person my family will need me to be, and I will also be ‘Dean’, the one who won’t let himself be controlled anymore.” Dean told him with a proud smile.

Mr. Lafitte smiled back as he thought of Dean’s words.

“That is all you need to be who you are supposed to be. You are supposed to fight back, to be free, to be who you want to be without people telling you what you can and what you can’t do.” He gave Dean a thumbs up,, who let a light chuckle leave his mouth. “Can you stay in school late every day?” Dean nodded. “Alright. I will start teaching you how to fight back, how to defend yourself and how to protect those you care about, today. Come meet me by the gym after school.”

Dean smiled warmly.

“Thanks Mr. Lafitte.”

Mr. Lafitte chuckled.

“You’re a great kid, Dean. And I wouldn’t have you unprepared for a fight when you are ready to fight. I’ll help you any time you need, just make sure that you come and seek it.”

“Will do Sir.” Dean nodded in agreement.

Mr. Lafitte glanced at his clock and looked at Dean, with a cocky smile in his face.

“Aren’t you late for class?”

Dean’s eyes grew wide as he stood from his seat.

“Thanks for your help! I’ll see you at the gym after school!” Dean yelled as he opened the door and ran to class as Mr. Lafitte chuckled at the boy’s reaction. 


	17. Reminiscence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello dear readers! I'm sorry I didn't update sooner, but I had no internet at all, my parents wouldn't let me go visit my aunt, so I couldn't use her internet... BUT I got home yesterday and my beat sent this back to me this morning, so here you have the next chapter... A person asked me on tumblr how long I'm planing this story to be, and I will tell you that for now I have no idea, as I said before I want things to happen with time, and I have this written until chapter 19 -and I've got the plans for the 20th chapter- but I don't know how much more chapters I'm going to write until the end of this story. I wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas, but now I can only hope you had an amazing one ~or any other holiday you celebrate~ and hopefully I'll have the next chapter before New Year, but in case I don't... HAPPY NEW YEAR for all of you! May 2014 be good for you, with lots of love, hapiness and fanfictions ^-^
> 
> Sorry about so much text, but I needed to let you all know about it, and wish you all a great year.
> 
> Please review this chapter, and tell me what you think about it! ~Even if you don't like it... Let me know to see what I need to change in the future~
> 
> Follow me on tumblr: sofknowseverything.tumblr.com and hellaadestiel.tumblr.com

Chapter 17 – Reminiscence

He might be ready to change himself for the better, but that certainly didn’t include skipping classes. He had always been proud of his track record of barely missing a class -unless it was absolutely unavoidable.

Dean ran as quickly as he could, trying not to knock anyone over yet not really caring if he did. The hallway was almost empty apart from two or three people who were grabbing some books from their lockers. Dean just didn’t want to be further delayed. He was in the doorway of his classroom as soon as one could run from one side of the school building to the other. He stopped, briefly caught his breath, and knocked on the door.

It opened to reveal Mrs. Mosely, who gave Dean a rather disapproving look.

 “Do you think that now is the time to arrive at your class, Mr. Winchester?” She asked him, trying to make him feel bad for being late. Dean gave her a sheepish smile.

 “I’m sorry. I was talking with Mr. Lafitte about some school work. I promise it won’t happen again.” He assured as he walked to his usual spot.

The lesson went by smoothly; nothing much happened, no one picked on him –he guessed that having the King of school claiming your ass made everyone slightly more careful in their actions. But a phenomenal improvement was that he answered what Mrs. Mosely asked the class; mainly because there was no one else brave enough to speak to her.

It was only at the end of the lesson he remembered that he still needed to talk with Bobby and tell him that he would be going to work later during the near future.

“Hey Bobby, it’s me.” He told his uncle as the other answered the phone with a gruff “What?”. “I was just calling to let you know that I’ll be staying behind after school… Yeah… Everything’s fine. I just– I know I promised I would help with that car… I’ll do it as soon as I get there. –As I was saying, and would have probably have hung up by now if you hadn’t interrupted me, I’m just going to get better at something. I’ll tell you all about it later. See ya.” He liked to work with Bobby. They had always been pretty close and working together was always fun; he had taught Dean everything he needed to know about cars, so that Dean could help in the shop too. There was always something funny happening in there- either someone who thought their car was damaged beyond belief, when it was actually something as simple as bad connection between the motor and the engine, or because the problem was actually something simple like a bad radio connection that would take them merely five minutes to look at and fix.  And there were also the breaks, where they would stop for a while and just tell stories about anything they remembered, or talk about their day. Often it was just Dean telling Bobby about how big Sammy was getting, and just how smart his younger brother was. Every other day, Charlie would come by and give them company, because they had always been close to each other and knew each other better than most siblings actually do.  They always knew when the other needed comfort or they were in a bad mood or they just needed a good laugh.

Dean was so excited for the end of school day that he was almost jumping in his spot. The classes passed by slowly, making it hard to concentrate, though he kept trying. When lunch came by he sat himself, outside, in a bench with Charlie next to him.

“You know, I’m going to miss this…” Charlie pointed out.

Dean frowned and looked at her.

“What do you mean by that?”

Charlie chuckled.

“No need to get that worried, Winchester. I’m not going anywhere; I just meant that when we finally graduate in two years and two months I’m going to miss the days when we ate lunch together outside to avoid the outrages number of people that eat in that god damn cafeteria. Hell! I’m even going to miss the days when we ate in the cafeteria!” She explained to him with a fond smile in her features.

Dean smiled right back at her –clearly relieved that Charlie wasn’t planning on going away–, and pushed up a little closer to her, in order to rest his head in her shoulder.

“Is there any reason why you thought about that now?”

Charlie shrugged.

“Not really… I was just thinking about when we used to be in kindergarten and we went everywhere together, refusing to part… Gosh… Those were the days!”

“Yeah! Do you remember when I finally let you sleep next to me?” Dean asked her, a smile gracing his face as he remembered the past. “You were so happy that you peed whilst you were sleeping.”

Charlie looked to him amused.

“Must I remind you that the one who peed was you?”

A light shade of red crept onto Dean’s face.

“I was dreaming that I went to the bathroom!” He whined, as Charlie laughed loudly.

People passing by them found it odd that Dean and Charlie were being so loud. It wasn’t something that happened every day.  It was like they had emerged from their cocoons, deciding to act as pronounced as possible, not giving a moment’s notice to the people staring at them.

“I will remind you of that every time you decide to tell that story. I will tell your kids and grandkids how you peed on your bed and then told everyone it was me, when they were all staring at you!”

They were still laughing loudly when Balthazar approached them. Dean suddenly got tense and positioned himself as close to Charlie, to make it easier to protect her in case he tried something funny with them.

“I see you’re having fun!” Balthazar smiled, sitting himself down near Charlie. “I was wondering what was so funny… Maybe you could tell me!”

For a second, Dean feared that Charlie would say that he peed on his bed when they were five, but he should have known better. Charlie wasn’t going to tell anyone, especially not a Novak albeit the story was trivial, he didn’t need to give them another reason to tease him. Charlie just ignored Balthazar and kept facing Dean.

“Oh! Wow! I’m feeling ignored, guys. Could you look at me at least?”

Dean grabbed Charlie’s hand and pulled her close to himself. When her face was near enough, he whispered in her ear something that Balthazar didn’t catch.

“What did you say? I couldn’t hear you from here…” He tried his best to make them face him. When he noticed how hard Charlie was trying not laugh, Balthazar looked at the beautiful green grass near their bench and sighed. “I guess that today isn’t my day. Everyone just keeps ignoring me.”

Charlie couldn’t keep it anymore. She let out a sharp laugh and then it was on. She couldn’t stop laughing and after a few seconds Dean was laughing too.

“Are you laughing at me?” Balthazar asked incredulous. “I can’t believe that you guys would do that!”

Balthazar’s pouting only made them both laugh even harder. Which caused Balthazar to huff in annoyance.

“You guys suck!”

Charlie finally faced him a smile still in her face, making her look a bit younger than her fifteen years.

“You know what? What we just made you go through isn’t half of what you make us face on a daily basis. Don’t like it? I suggest you stop making us feel even worse.” She told him in all seriousness and shoved him out of their bench, laying down on it, placing her head on Dean’s lap, who started lightly massaging her head. “Damn Dean! You can give a goddamn good massage! You just got hired by your Queen as her official masseur.”

Dean laughed slightly at the mention of their game. They used to role play their favorite characters while growing up. And even after many years, they would still mention the moment when Charlie decided she was the Queen of a land called Moondor and that everyone had to obey to her. And now Dean got a very important position in the Queen’s life in Moondor.

“Oh, your Majesty, I can’t thank you enough for offering me such a prestigious position. I accept the challenge and I will try to make everything better with my massages!” Dean answered in his mocking voice.

Charlie laughed obnoxiously hard to his statement and his voice.

“Holy crap Dean! You always make me laugh, but you haven’t made me laugh this hard in a long time. What was so good about today?” She asked. When Dean tried to make her laugh as much as he did that day, it was usually was because something good had happened and he felt as good as one could possibly be, so she had to wonder… What had happened?

Dean smiled brightly at her.

“I decided that I want to be strong.” He told her.

Charlie smiled back at him.

“I’m glad you idiot! I was getting sick of watching you get beaten up every day.” She looked at Dean, with her smile fading from her face. “Are going to be strong _everywhere_ or just at school?”

Dean’s smile was wiped from his face with her statement, and his eyes searched the ground for nothing in particular.

“You know I want to be strong everywhere, but there’s too much at stake in there. I can’t decide to change with _him_ having the possibility to beat up Sammy. You know that I can’t do that.” He stopped, and raised his eyes to meet Charlie’s. “You also know that I wish I could change that too. But I can’t lose Sammy. I can’t do that.”

Charlie gave him a comprehensive smile.

“I know Dean… I just wish things were different.” She was going to say something else, but she stopped once Jo got closer to them.

“Hey, Charlie! Can you help me with my chemistry homework?” She asked right after greeting them.

Charlie smiled at her and got up.

“Sure. Let’s go inside that it’s starting to get cold here.” As soon they were off, Dean continued eating his lunch, alone.

It didn’t take long for Balthazar to walk back to the bench. He sat himself close to Dean and started talking to him.

“You look pretty happy!”

Dean wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone that could possibly make him mad. He was too happy to let it be ruined.

“What do you want?”

Balthazar feigned hurt.

“Is that how you talk to everyone that comes to you?” Once Dean didn’t answer, he continued. “I just wanted to ask you what happened to Cassie this morning. He’s acting weird ever since he came back from following you.”

“I didn’t do anything to him.” His eyes hardened with the memory of that morning’s events. “I just refused to be controlled by him. I won’t take it anymore. You can stop coming after me; I won’t do what you want and I don’t care if it upsets you.” With that, Dean stood up and left Balthazar alone in the bench.

“Did he just say he won’t be controlled anymore?” He asked himself, pondering the boy’s odd behavior. He also realized he had just been left-no, _abandoned_ -on this bench. “And did he seriously just leave me here?!” He sighed, stretching out on the bench as he mulled things over.

_What the hell happened this morning? His whole attitude is different! I can’t believe that he stood me up! And most importantly, what’s Cassie going to do, now that Dean won’t let himself be controlled by anyone?! Is he going to make us do something weird? God, I hope he won’t make me do something stupid again!_


	18. Thirty Laps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My beta sent it back to me today! ^^ I don't like making you guys wait for very long, so I try to give you new chapters as soon as I can... So you can pay me back with comments maybe? Have a nice reading!!
> 
> Follow me on tumblr: sofknowseverything.tumblr.com and hellaadestiel.tumblr.com

The school day ended and Dean was waiting impatiently for Mr. Lafitte to show up at the gym. He was ready to start learning how to fight.

“I see you’re excited about this.” Mr. Lafitte said, once he saw Dean almost jumping on spot whilst waiting for him.

Dean turned around to face his teacher with smile in his face.

“Pretty much.”

Mr. Lafitte chuckled.

“It’s nice to see such enthusiasm. I hope you know that you’re not going to be punching bags straight away. First I need to teach you some stuff…” Dean nodded. “…about how you’re going to predict your opponents’ moves and things like that.”

Dean gave him a determined look.

“I’m more than ready to learn. You’re the one who knows how to teach this, so you’re the one who can tell me what I need to do first.”

Mr. Lafitte opened the door and let Dean walk inside before himself. The school gym was one of the coldest places in the building. The walls stood proud and tall, with an enormous gymnastics area, along with everything a teacher could possibly need for the sport, it also had some courts for Basketball and volleyball. It was the biggest gym in their town. Every other school had their own gym, but they were nothing compared to this one. Every sports club had at least one meeting a week in there, where they practiced whichever sport they were enrolled in. There were some punching bags hanging on one side, and a small locker room next door. Mr. Lafitte stopped in the middle of the room and motioned for Dean to do the same.

Once they were in front of each other, Mr. Lafitte asked Dean to sit down in the floor, which he did right away. The teached walked back a few steps.

“There are three things you need to know about how I’m going to teach you to fight:  _one_ : I want you to only use these techniques in defense;  _two_ : whatever I tell you to do, you have to do it, no questions asked, they will help you and that’s all you need to remember;  _three_ : if you complain I will make you work harder. Understood?”

“Yes sir!” Dean answered just as determined as before.

“Good. I will make you gain some stamina before you start actually fighting; if you can’t stay up after running, you aren’t up to fighting anyone. When you can run and you’re still up for fighting, I will start teaching you how to gain some muscle and how to use it, alright, Dean?”

Dean could understand why Mr. Lafitte wanted things to go like that. It made sense that he only started fighting when he actually had the capability to do so. In a real fight it’s important that you know the tactics -both attack and defense-, but it was more prudent that you weren’t going to fall to the ground after just 2 punches.

“Should I start running?” Dean asked with an easy smile.

Mr. Lafitte sighed.

 “I’m not gonna lie to you, Dean. You have a hard path ahead of you. I’m going to lead you through it all, but I still need to ask you to give your hardest through it all.” Mr. Lafitte told him seriously. “And while we’re in this, I’m going to ask you to call me Benny; right now, I’m not your teacher, I’m your friend… A friend who is helping you to strengthen yourself. So please I ask you to treat me as a friend and not as your teacher.”

Dean nodded.

“Then I will always be thankful to you, Benny.” He blushed slightly, but quickly accustomed to this new familiarity. “I will never be able to thank you enough, and if you ask me to treat you as a friend, you can be sure that  _that_  is what’s going to happen.”

“I’m glad you think so. Now, let’s get to it. When you can run thirty laps without stopping and not fall to the floor when you’re finished, I will start teaching you how to fight. Now… You just gotta start running every day, to make sure you can train yourself as fast as possible.”

Dean nodded and started running.

“Will you run with me, or are just going to yell at me to keep running?”

Benny smiled.

“I’m going to help you run when you start giving up, and I will make you realize that you still have many laps to run when you start getting cocky.”

Up to three laps it was easy, Dean wasn’t running very fast, just a simple sort of fast jog really. Once he reached the forth lap, it started getting harder.  He wasn’t used to running, he was more of walking type of guy, but he wasn’t going to give up just yet.

_Come on, Dean! You only started now! You can run more than three laps! Move your ass! What would Bobby say if he saw how pathetic you are? He’d call you an idjit and would tell you that you’re better than that! It’s time to start believing so!_

As soon as he entered the fifteenth lap, Dean was starting to give up; he wasn’t sure how he was going to endure fifteen more laps, but he kept going. Benny noticed him stopping for a few seconds and yelled at him to keep going.

“You can’t be a winner if you won’t run all the laps I told you to!”

Dean nodded and started running again with renewed confidence, a bit slower than before, but nonetheless still running.

“That’s it! You just gotta find your speed and keep it.” He told Dean, giving him the motivation he needed to continue. “You can do it! And if you don’t, you’ll have to run more laps tomorrow!”

A few more laps went by and Dean continued to persevere. His abdomen was hurting, but he couldn’t… No. He  _wouldn’t_ stop running. He promised himself he would run as much as he could, no matter how much longer it would take him, no matter if he fell unconscious to the floor. He would give this his all.

Lap twenty four came and he started feeling dizzy. He could see everything spinning around, he wanted to give up, but he knew that he wouldn’t. Benny’s words kept playing in his mind.  _‘You can’t be a winner if you won’t run all the laps I told you to!’_ And Dean wanted to be a winner, so he kept running.

It was about ten minutes later that Dean fell to the floor, completely exhausted, only a lap away from the so desired thirty.

Benny ran up to him and kneeled on the floor beside Dean. He raised a hand to check Dean’s pulse and realized that Dean’s heart was beating way faster than a normal person’s heart would after running twenty nine laps. Just by sheer observation he could tell how much Dean had put into this, how eager he was to do this.

“That was good, buddy. That was very good.” He told Dean, patting him lightly on the back. “Now we just gotta get you your strength back.” He started helping Dean up –more like raising Dean himself– from the floor, placing an arm around his shoulders before restoring the boy onto his feet. “Let’s get you something to eat.” He told him, who just hummed in agreement, incapable of saying something more elaborated.

Dean felt exhausted. He had tried his best to keep running, but he just couldn’t do it anymore. It was so hard just to stand that he leaned on Benny while they got their stuff from the gym and moved to the cafeteria. Dean was proud of himself. Even if he couldn’t run the thirty laps that day, he was sure that he would be able to do it soon enough; he just had to keep practicing. Every inch of his body ached and yelled for him to stay in the same spot. But Dean couldn’t do that. He had more things to do: he needed to get something in his stomach; he needed to go to Bobby’s shop and help him; he needed to get home and cook dinner; he needed to clean the house… There were so many things he still needed to get done, but he just wanted to stay in the floor and sleep.

“I’m so hungry!” Dean said, his voice half failing him with the effort, trying to take him mind away from anything related to  _sleep_.

Benny chuckled lightly. Dean was a fighter; he could feel it. He fought the whole time. He ran more than any other person he had ever asked to run thirty laps; he did it all at the first time. If he ever needed to describe Dean in three words they would be:  _courageous, determined_ and  _hard-worker_. No one had ever tried this much. He could feel that Dean was hardly walking, he was mostly being pulled by Benny, but he didn’t care. Dean deserved a full meal, and he was going to give it to him.

Once they were inside the cafeteria, Dean motioned for his bag to fish his wallet out.

“Nah-ah… There’s no chance in hell that I’m going to let you do that!” Benny told him, placing him in one of the tables. “I’m paying for our snacks.”

He started moving to order as much food as he could when Dean grabbed his sleeve. Benny stopped and looked down. Dean was looking at him with a gigantic warm smile.

“Thanks.”

Benny smiled back.

“You deserve a good meal. You did so well, Dean… I’m so proud of ya… I can’t tell you how proud I am.”

With that, Benny left Dean alone at the table.

Dean’s smile spread all over his face. He ran as much as he could and it was completely worth it; hearing someone tell him that they were proud of him… It was just one of the best things Dean had ever been through.

The teacher walked back with a tray full of food.

“Here you go.” He said placing most of the things he bought in front of Dean. “You can eat whatever you want, as much as you want.”

“Again… Thank you.” Dean told him in earnest. “There aren’t many people who had ever been this kind to me.”

“I know Dean. But I want you to know that I meant what I said. You can find a friend in me whenever you need me to be one. I just ask you that you keep calling me Mr. Lafitte during classes, otherwise you can call me Benny… If you want you can pretend that I’m your uncle or something…”

Dean smiled tiredly.

“Uncle… Nah… I’ve got one of those… You’re more like an older brother.”

Benny smiled.

“Well then… I’m your ‘older brother’ whenever you need me to be one.”

Dean ate as much as he could, shoveling the food into his hungry needy mouth, his body relishing the energy and nourishment.

“You’re a strange one, Dean. I’ve been asked to teach many people how to fight, but none of them as ever been so close to actually running the thirty laps the first time… And absolutely none of them were able to stand up and walk after such a little time resting… I’m in awe of your stamina.” The teached admitted, his eyes looking at Dean with admiration.

With that statement Dean’s chest swelled with pride and his face broke into a rare and genuine smile.

“It’s good to know that I’m better than anyone else.” He said, both excited and proud to know just how good he was. It wasn’t a feeling he was even mildly accustomed to. 

Mr. Lafitte chuckled.

“I guess you’re right. Being better than everyone else is an amazing achievement. And I’m glad you’re the one who gets to be the best of them all. They didn’t fight half as hard as you, and you’re trying to change.  They just tried to show they were better than the other ones; while you, Dean, you have a reason to fight, you want to be a protector… You don’t want glory all for yourself, you want the safety of those you care about… And that’s why you’re the best.”

Dean smiled at his newfound friend.

“I’m glad. They don’t sound half as good as they should be, if they’re trying to learn how to fight. This has been great… But I have work to get to, so… I’ll see you tomorrow!” Dean said to his teacher, standing up.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Dean.” He had almost left the cafeteria when Mr. Lafitte yelled after him. “Dean!” The student looked in his direction, waiting for him to continue. “I expect you to have the research homework I asked you yesterday done tomorrow!”

Dean laughed.

“It’s been done since yesterday!” He replied before leaving the room and grabbing the rest of the stuff he needed to get before heading out to work. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think about Benny and Dean's relationship? Is it ok? Do you agree with it? PLEASE COMMENT WITH YOUR THOUGHTS!


	19. I’m glad we’re friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR!! I want to wish you all an amazing 2014 - I hope you can have your best year so far and that you can have all you wish for!  
> Follow me on tumblr: sofknowseverything.tumblr.com and hellaadestiel.tumblr.com

Chapter 19 – I’m glad we’re friends

Two weeks passed by fast. And every single day Sam would wait for Gabriel after school and they would just hang out. At first it was a bit awkward since neither of them knew each other that well; they didn’t know what to say in each other’s company, but soon they got over it and started to like being in each other’s company.

Once they started having a strong friendship, they started spending as much time with each other as they managed. It was a surprise to Sam once he realized that Gabriel actually wanted to be his friend; they would talk about anything they thought of, and every time they spoke about their families and when Sam said nothing apart from saying how awesome Dean was, Gabriel didn’t push him to say anything else about the matter.

They were in the middle of the pathway between their schools and Gabriel had just greeted Sam.

“Hey-a Sammy! Can I come over to your place today?” He asked, not really wanting to be with his own family at the moment; Castiel asked him every day if he had any news about Dean’s wound, and every day he answered that he didn’t know. After a few times of that happening, it started to become kind of dull and Gabriel liked new things, exciting things… not the same thing over and over again; especially when the thing was something that he didn’t want to find out, he wanted Sam to tell him when he felt ready to do so. In the end, he just wanted to clear his head by spending some quality time with his friend.

Sam looked around nervous. He knew that he could never have anyone at his place… Ever. The only time he brought someone over was with Ruby, and that didn’t go that well… The worse part of the problem was that he actually wanted to take Gabriel to his place, so that they could watch a movie or just hand out a bit more.

“Sorry… You can’t…” Sam told him right away. Gabriel faced the floor, his face showing how hurt he felt by Sam’s statement, so Sam continued. “My dad has been working the night shift lately, so he has to sleep during the day… I can’t really have anyone there while he is asleep, he wakes up too easily.” He lied trying to make Gabriel stop asking. “But I wish we could go to my place…”

Gabriel could see that Sam had just lied to him, but he also understood that Sam didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell him the truth, so he didn’t push further. What he couldn’t stop was the hurt that he felt… It felt like Sam didn’t trust him enough to invite him over to his own place.

“Oh…” He said, whilst his voice showed as much hurt as his face. “Alright… If that’s the case…”

Sam cursed himself mentally.

 _You’re so stupid, Sam! Why did you say that to him? He could probably see that you were lying!_ Sam sighed and kept his mental scolding. _I should have just told him that I had to go to Bobby’s… It would have been easier and then he could come with…_

“How about we have a walk?” Sam asked, trying to keep his mind away from his own problems.

Gabriel nodded, a bit more cheerful, because even if he couldn’t go to Sam’s place, Sam still wanted to hang out with him… That ought to be a good sign, right?

They walked until they reached the park and settled for the path that lead to the children’s park, the one that had a swing set along with a sand box and some other toys.

“I’m sorry you can’t come to my place…” Sam told him after a few minutes of walking in a peaceful silence. “You’re a good friend, Gabe, you really are.” Gabriel looked surprised with Sam; why was he saying such things? What was troubling Sam? “I’ve been so alone lately… You have no idea! Yeah… I have some friends at school but that’s it. They see me at school, we greet each other in the hallways, we sit together at lunch and then we carry on with our days… When I get home, Dean isn’t there yet, and when he gets home, he’s always tired; Charlie almost never comes over anymore… I only see her when I go to Bobby’s shop, and since neither of us have a day to go there for sure, we almost never see each other! But every day I have something to look up for. I wait for the moment I can get out of school to have some fun with you…” Sam told him as he opened the fence that led them to the park. They walked inside and Sam sat on one of the swings, while Gabriel did the same. “You’ll probably think this is a stupid thing to say, but… I’m glad we’re friends.”

Gabriel had no words… His face started opening in a warm smile, he felt truly happy and he had no idea how to express it. As Sam’s last words sank deep in his mind a deep blush covered his cheeks.

“I’m glad we’re friends too, ya know…” Sam looked at him surprised. “I know that I seem to have tons of friends, but they only want to be my friends because of Cassie. They want to be popular; they want to rise in the hierarchy…. And there’s only one way to do that… Become close to my brother; and the best way to do that is by becoming friends with either me or Balthy… And it’s so tiresome! I can’t stand any more of those fake friends! You’re the first real friend I’ve had in years!”

Sam’s mouth was opened in shock, but soon it turned into a warm, happy smile. His cheeks were slightly tainted in pink and he felt happier than he had ever felt in years.

“I’m glad we have each other!”

Suddenly, Gabriel felt like he could do anything. They were friends, _real friends_. And that made him really happy. He didn’t care that his brothers would think it was weird they were hanging out too much without him having any news; he didn’t care if his brothers saw him with Sam talking about anything else… He was happy with the way things were going.

“Do you want to come with me to my place?” He asked, his face expectantly waiting for Sam’s answer.

Sam’s eyes were glinting with excitement. He hadn’t gone to a friend’s place in years, mostly because he didn’t have many friends, and now he had been asked. And there was also the fact that the one who asked him to go to his place was Gabriel.

“I’d love to go!” He answered as soon as he could find the words; his voice was full of excitement that he didn’t even try to hide.

Gabriel grinned happily.

“Let’s go then… We don’t have time to waste!” Gabriel jumped from his swing seat and was almost running away when he noticed Sam laughing, still sitting in his spot. “Do you care to explain what’s so funny?” He asked with a light head tilt.

Sam tried to speak, but it was difficult; he was laughing too much to even think about speaking. He tried to stop laughing a few times but he couldn’t succeed with his task. He always ended up laughing a bit harder than before. It took him about five minutes to calm down and stop laughing.

“I’m sorry, Gabe… It’s just that you look like a five year old! I mean… More than usual!” he laughed a few more seconds.

Gabriel pouted a bit annoyed with Sam, but he quickly started laughing too, it was true… He usually acted like a five year old, but he was more excited today… He was like a kid who had just been promised to go to the park.

“Can we go now?” Gabriel asked blushing, trying not to sound as excited as he actually was.

Sam chuckled lightly and nodded.

“We can go now.”

Gabriel ran up to Sam and pulled him by the arm.

“Let’s go! Let’s go! Let’s go!” He said excitedly.

Sam chuckled and let himself be pushed by Gabriel.

They walked a few blocks until they reached his house. It was a big white colored villa with three floors: five rooms on the top floor and three bathrooms; on the second floor they had a game room, a movie room and a library full of books; and finally on the last floor it was mainly a common space that all of them shared: a kitchen, a living room and a dining room with a bathroom in between the living room and the dining room. Every single one of those rooms was very spacy, inside them could fit a lot of people inside.

Gabriel opened the door and pulled Sam inside, before he closed the door he whispered in Sam ear.

“Ignore them if they talk to you, and try to run as fast as you can if you see anyone.”

Sam nodded and started following Gabriel inside the house.

As soon as they stepped inside, Sam had to remind himself that they had to keep walking, but it was difficult… That was the biggest house he had ever stepped in, the furniture looked expensive and the chandeliers were the most beautiful ones he had ever laid his eyes on. The walls were full of framed pictures of the three brothers inside; mostly is was Balthazar and Gabriel smiling while Castiel looked uninterested, but there was one, where they were all around a Christmas tree, and the boys were all smiling to the camera happiness glowing in their eyes. The mostly black furniture the house had in the first floor added contrast to the white walls, even the stairs were made of wood that was as dark as the night, shining everywhere the light touched.

They had only reached the second floor when Balthazar came out of the movie room.

“Hey Gabe! Who’s that?” He asked curiously, trying to glance above his brother’s shoulder – which was easy, since Gabriel was the shortest brother of them all.

Gabriel looked at him in annoyance.

“It’s none of your business.” He hissed as his brother tried to get closer.

Castiel came out of the library letting the door half open, which caught Sam’s attention –his eyes were wandering inside, looking at the selves full of books.

“Gabriel! How nice to see you!” He said mockingly. “I thought you would have been home one hour ago.”

Gabriel glared at his brothers.

“Sorry to disappoint you, guys… But I’m going to my room.” He grabbed Sam’s arm and pushed him to the stairs, making him walk with him.

His brothers let them go, but Castiel didn’t look pleased. In fact he was annoyed by Gabriel’s actions. He promised to find out more about Dean’s situation and now, two weeks later, he didn’t have anything to say.

Once they were on the top floor, they stopped to catch their breaths for a few seconds.

“Welcome Sammy, to my room.” Gabe said as soon as he neared a wooden door full of posters of someone’s favorite shows and singers, which Sam assumed would be the door to Gabriel’s room. He grabbed the handle and opened the door.

Gabriel waited for Sam to walk inside before he did the same himself.

The room was full of photographs of Gabriel with his brothers. Sam noticed that each wall was painted in some kind of a map form; he could see Europe in one of the walls and there were some photos in some parts of the continent; he could see Asia, and he saw photos in some parts of the continent; in another wall there was another continent, he saw Africa and there were some more photos in there; and there was a big wall that had almost no space between photographs for the actual wall to be seen –it was The States’ wall. The ceiling had posters of Gabriel’s favorite shows, Sam could figure out ‘The Big Bang Theory’ and ‘Doctor Who’, and Gabriel’s favorite bands, such as ‘The Spice Girls’ and ‘Metallica’.

Sam smiled.

“I didn’t think you were a Spice fan, Gabe…”

Gabriel let his tongue free and pouted.

“It’s not like I’m their biggest fan, but I mean…” He said, stopping for a few seconds. After waiting for Sam to look at him expectantly he let a goofy smile at display and started singing. “ _If you wanna be my lover, you_ g _otta get with my friends, make it last forever, friendship never ends… If you wanna be my lover, you gotta have to give, taking this too easy, but that’s the way it is”_ Gabriel sang every word in the right rhythm, letting some of the words linger in his tongue when it was required.

As soon as Sam listened to the first verse he started roaring a powerful laugh, almost falling to the floor as he hugged his stomach that was starting to cause him a bit of a pain for laughing too hard.

Gabriel looked amused by Sam’s reaction.

“Oh come on, Sammy! I don’t sing that bad!”

Sam tried to stop laughing, but for the second time that day it seemed impossible to make that happen.

“God, Gabe!” Sam whined, trying to stop laughing. “What did you do to make me laugh this much again?!”

Gabe grinned.

“This is nothing… If you were locked with me in a room full of candy that would be what would kill you… I’m funny when I eat candy, but I’m even funnier when I eat enormous amounts of candy!” He said proudly.

Sam looked at him with a smile, finally stopping the laughing fit.

“You know, I don’t doubt that for a second.”

Gabriel threw himself to his bed and tapped the space beside him for Sam to do the same. As soon as they were side by side, Gabriel let out a sigh.

“This is so much better when I’m not alone with my brothers…” Gabriel admitted.

Sam let his eyes wonder on the walls and he smiled softly.

“Those pictures… Are they really from where the wall says?” Sam asked.

Gabriel rolled to the side, to look at Sam with a bit impressed.

“Yeah. Actually I don’t know why I’m so surprised that you noticed the walls were a map… You really are smart! Almost no one notices that on the walls, they just think I like some parts of the walls better than the others.” Gabriel confessed.

Sam looked at him satisfied.

“But there are some continents missing: both the poles and Oceania.” Sam pointed out, satisfied to have noticed that too.

Gabe smiled warmly.

“You really are amazing, you know that? I haven’t gone there just yet, so I didn’t see the point of drawing those places…”

Sam’s eyes widened and his mouth fell open.

“You… You… You drew the continents yourself?”

Gabriel beamed proudly.

“Yup! I did it all myself!”

Sam was about to answer, but his answer was something that he couldn’t say… His smiled dropped from his face, and he looked away. Gabriel noticed his change, so he lifted his head and looked at him questioningly.

“Everything ok Sam?” He asked, concerned.

Sam nodded.

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” _I just wish you could come to my house and draw something this awesome in my room too…_ “Should we watch a movie?”

Gabriel noticed that Sam still looked sad, but as usual he let it pass, he wasn’t about to make Sam feel uncomfortable –especially when he would have to leave soon- and he nodded, grabbing Sam’s hand to take him to where he had all his DVD’s lined up.

“You can choose the movie if you want.” Gabe told him, trying to make Sam smile, even if it was just a little bit.

They settled for watching ‘The Avengers’, Gabriel snickered some popcorns from one of the cupboards in his room for them to eat while they watched the movie, laughing - and there was also a bit of fangirling, but neither of them was going to admit it.

As soon as the movie finished, Sam glanced at the clock. It marked almost six o’clock.

“This was awesome, Gabe… But I really gotta go home now…” Sam told him as he rose from his seat.

Gabriel pouted. They were having a great time, and now it ended… But something made Gabriel smile… They could always do it again; they could always go to his place and watch a movie in his room again.


	20. Brotherly love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr: hellaadestiel.tumblr.com and sofknowseverything.tumblr.com to know when I updated! And don't be afraid to come and say hello!! ^-^

Chapter 20 – Brotherly love

Two days after going to Gabriel’s house, both Winchesters were lying awake in their bedroom, facing the ceiling early in the morning. The room was quiet for a while, and the silence was a blessing to the boys, who knew it would end as soon as John woke up.

After a while, Sam rolled on his side to face Dean. He was a bit anxious about what he wanted to ask, but he felt that he needed to do it.

“Hey Dean… What have you been doing?” Dean looked at Sam, raising his eyebrows in question. “You look tired all the time and I hardly see you around… We haven’t done anything together lately… We hardly talked in the last two weeks!”

Dean turned back to face the ceiling , enjoying  the last moments of relaxation he would get for the day. Training with Benny took up a lot of his time and strength, so these quiet moments in the morning was all he had.  If he wasn’t too tired, he would enjoy a few contemplative moments late at night too, just enjoying the feeling of his brain unwinding, dispelling all troubling thoughts.

“I’ve been busy Sammy.” He replied, trying to keep the room peaceful.

Sam sat in his bed, thinking about how he could make his brother open up to him.

“I’m your brother, Dean! I think I deserve a better explanation than that!” He snapped, knowing it would trigger something in him.

Dean sat up and faced Sam, he wanted to be there for his brother, but it was not easy. He had so many things to do! Apart from the trainings with Benny, he worked with Bobby every day, he cleaned their house, he did everything their father asked –demanded- him to do, he did his best at school to keep his grades like they had always been –as good as they could be- and sometimes he even helped Jo… What time left did he have? Time to sleep. Nothing else… He was sad that it was like that, but he kept remembering why he was doing this. He needed to learn how to fight, and this was the only way. Sam could live a without his brother bickering in his life for a while… Couldn’t he?

“Well I’m sorry Sammy! I’m sorry I haven’t been around, but I’ve been trying to do too many things at the same time.” The older Winchester said huffing in annoyance, still trying not to be too loud, or else John would wake up.

Sam, not really understanding what his brother had meant by ‘trying to do too many things at the same time, gave Dean a puzzled expression. What could that mean?  Was school taking that much time? Or was it for working with Bobby and Jo’s mother? Or could it even be something else?

“What do you mean by that? What have you been doing Dean?” His voice came out a bit angry, what wasn’t he telling Sam?! And most of all, why didn’t he say what it was? Sam was starting to wonder if Dean was doing anything illegal; feeling the need to keep it a secret.

The feeling of guilt trespassed Dean; he hadn’t been planning to tell Sam what he’d been up to after school these past few weeks. As the guilt increased, Dean looked away from his brother, trying, hoping this feeling would subside; which didn’t happen, it only made him feel angry at himself, for not telling him sooner.

“You don’t need to stress over it, Sammy… I’m not doing anything illegal.” The older Winchester said, trying to get his brother to stop worrying so much over the situation.

Sam rolled his eyes, but Dean knew how relieved he felt just by the statement he had given him. He was starting to relax, but not completely, he still didn’t know what Dean had been doing.

“Then what the hell have you been doing Dean?” He asked, still as insistent as ever, but a little less tense than he had been before.

Dean thought for a few seconds, he was going to tell Sam, that was for sure, but he couldn’t help feeling nervous about it; what if Sam didn’t agree with his decision? The only thing that mattered in the whole fighting thing was his family, and if his family didn’t agree, Dean didn’t know what he would do… Sam questioning him, reminded him that he hadn’t told Charlie either.

_I guess today is going to be a long day… More than usual at least…_

“I’ve been learning how to fight.” He said in a sigh.

The confession brought a smile to Sam’s face. Not only his brother told him what he has been doing, but it’s also something as amazing as –finally- learning how to defend himself.

“That’s awesome Dean!” Sam chirped excitedly, jumping from his stop to sit down in Dean’s bed.

Dean gave him a look to lower his voice, not wanting to wake their father up.

“Can I learn how to fight too?”

Upon listening to his younger brother’s request, a smile crept to Dean’s lips.

“You know what, Sammy… When I know how to fight I’ll teach you.” Dean told him whilst ruffling Sam’s curly brown locks with affection, making the boy close his eyes and smile, content with his brother’s caring actions.

Sam opened his eyes and looked excited to his brother.“Promise?”

His brother smiled widely at him and nodded. “I promise, cross my hear and hope to die.” He said, placing a hand on his chest.

Sam threw his arms around Dean and hugged him.

“Thank you Dean! Oh I can’t wait.” He said, not bothering to contain his excitement.

“You know, you need to learn how to be patient before I teach you anything…” He started, only to get interrupted by his brother.

“Deeeeeeeaaaaaaan! Don’t be mean!” Sam whined, only to pout soon. “And I’m very patient!”

Dean chuckled.“Of course you are Sammy.”

The room fell silent once again, and they just let themselves relax, knowing that everything was alright between them once again.

Feeling that he hadn’t been in his brother’s life lately, Dean decided it was time to know what had been happening with the younger Winchester.

“How about you, Sammy? What have you been up to?”

Sam smiled widely at his brother’s question. He was really excited to share the news about Gabriel. They had become such close friends in so little time and that was something huge for him.

“I’m glad you asked! I made a friend a few weeks ago!” Sam told his brother. As soon as the words left his mouth, Sam remembered a little detail; Dean would ask him who his new friend was… That was for sure. He noticed how Dean didn’t exactly like Gabriel, so he wasn’t sure how he would react to their newfound friendship.

Dean was happy. After so much time, Sam finally made a new friend. After what had happened to Ruby, no one wanted to be friends with Sam. They didn’t exactly know what happened; all they knew was that after becoming friends with Sam she got beaten up; most of the people in his middle school thought it had been Sam who did it and others thought it had been Dean, so they didn’t try to talk to him much. They didn’t want to risk being beaten up. The only people who were kind of friends with him, were the ones he had known all his life: the twins from his classroom Michael and Lucifer –also known as: Mike and Luc-, a cute girl named Jessica –who threw a smile at him every time they walked past each other-, a funny guy named Garth and a girl named Lilith, but not even them dared to be very close to him, just a casual ‘Hey’ and the occasional lunch together.

“Oh really?” Dean asked, looking at Sam with a smile.

_So little Sammy got himself a new friend!_

Sam nodded, starting to panic slightly.

“Yeah! He’s not from _my_ school, but he’s very funny!” Sam said, eyeing his brother carefully. He was going to bring every good characteristic of Gabe he could, he wanted his brother to think Gabe was a good guy. He wanted to remain friends with him, and Dean wouldn’t agree with that so quickly.

“He’s not from your school… Then how did you meet this guy?” Dean said with a frown, not really liking the possibilities.

_Could it be someone bad… I don’t want Sam to have someone influencing him to do bad things!_

“I met him through you, actually.” Sam could feel the cold sweat in his forehead. He felt like crap for lying to his brother; he didn’t like not telling stuff to his brother. Sam sighed slightly. He was afraid Dean would condemn their friendship when it wasn’t at its fullest.

“Through me?” Dean asked as his brows rose.

_When did I introduce someone to Sam?_

“Yeah…” Sam said simply, his eyes meeting the floor.

_Who the hell could it be? I don’t remember having many friends and introducing one to him?! When the hell did I do that?!_

“Are you going to tell me when I introduced you to your friend?” Dean asked. It was better to ask than to think of all the possibilities that would take his mind away from him for the rest of the day.

Sam couldn’t face his brother. He was too scared to reply; he was deep lost in thoughts, trying to think of ways to avoid telling the truth.

“Sam?” Dean’s voice brought him back to reality, making him face his brother again.

Sam gulped and took a deep breath.

“I met him that day when I asked your friend to take you to the nurse’s office.” Sam ended up saying, not really wanting to say it.

Dean frowned. That day he wasn’t exactly thinking much about his surroundings, he was a bit lost in his own feelings to care about anything else.

“You mean Cas?” Dean didn’t want to mention him, but he didn’t remember who else could have been.

Sam shook his head and Dean remembered that Cas always walked to school with his brothers, it was known in the whole school why they didn’t bring their cars, it was something along the lines: ‘ _I don’t want someone to beat my car in this stupid parking lot!_ ’. Something clicked and Dean knew that there were only two possibilities.

“Which one of the Novak brothers is your new friend?” He asked, is face starting to show a bit of anger.

In a very small voice, Sam replied.

“Gabe.”

Sam spoke in such a small voice, that Dean couldn’t figure out which name he said.

“Who?” He asked again, this time paying full attention to Sam.

“Gabriel.” Sam said, a bit more loudly this time.

No. That couldn’t be true… He must have heard it wrong. Yeah, that was it.

_Gabriel?! That douche is Sammy’s new friend?! How the fuck did that happen?!_

“Why are you friends with _him_?!” Dean asked his brother in complete disbelief.

“It… hmm… kind of happened.” Sam said, not really sure on how to explain it.

“That doesn’t answer it! Why Sam?!” Dean asked, his voice low despite his anger.

Suddenly, Sam felt angry. Why was Dean asking him that again? Didn’t they just cover that.

“What do you mean _why_? I told you why already, Dean!” Sam hissed, trying to see why Dean was so stressed over this. “You weren’t there for me. He was. That’s why!”

Guilt crushed through Dean. He knew he hadn’t been the best brother ever in the last weeks, but he had a good excuse for it.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there, Sam.” Dean replied. “But that doesn’t tell me how you became friends with him!”

Sam knew it. He could tell the story of how he met Gabe as many times as he was asked, he just didn’t know if he wanted to tell it to his brother.

“Tell me!” Dean begged, and Sam had no way of escaping it now.

“He was shocked that I didn’t take candy when he offered me, while he was stalking me… And he came back later, asking how I could not like candy.” Sam said, as a smile crept to his face from the memory. “I told him I liked candy and he offered me some. After that we just kind of clicked. I don’t know, Dean… It just happened.”

It sounded strange. Would Gabriel _Douchebag_ Novak actually care if someone didn’t like candy? His first answer was _of course_ that guy loved candy more than anything else… But was that really a reason to befriend Sam? He wasn’t so sure about that.

“Why did you trust him?” The question left Dean’s mouth before he could stop himself. He was angry that Sam befriended such a guy; he was angry that he hadn’t been there to prevent it; and most of all, he was angry because Sam trusted him, right now probably more than he trusted Dean himself.

“He’s not as bad as you think!” Sam told him, anger starting to poison him too. “He has been nothing but a good friend to me! And he has been here! I don’t feel so alone because he’s there for me!”

His words were like harsh blows to his gut. It made him feel like he hadn’t been good enough for his brother.

“You know what? You can befriend whomever you want.” Dean told him. “You’re old enough to choose your friends, I just hope he doesn’t hurt you so much that you come crawling back to me.”

Sam looked away, seething with rage, embarrassment and hurt. How they managed to be angry silently was a bit difficult for others to understand, but after having silent fights with each other while their father slept in the next room, it had just become a habit.

“I’m going to get some fresh air.” Dean said as he dressed himself quickly and walked out of their room to the front of the house. He couldn’t leave just yet; he still needed to make his dad breakfast, and clean the kitchen, but he felt a bit of freedom as soon as he stepped outside, as the cold air hit him in the face. It was the only freedom he was going to get, for a while anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! ^.^


	21. Not even blackmailed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr: sofknowseverything.tumblr.com and hellaadestiel.tumblr.com  
> FINAL VERSION OF THE CHAPTER IS HERE NOW! Also, I reached the 100th page on my word document! :D  
> Your comments incentivate me a lot, so please let me know what you think of this! ^-^

Chapter 21 – Not even blackmailed

The school day was just beginning when Gabriel walked up to Dean and pulled him into an empty classroom. Sam had just told him how Dean had reacted upon their friendship. Needless to say, he had not taken the news well.

“What do you want?” Dean demanded angrily.

“Why the hell do you think you can control who your brother is friends with?! I was there when you weren’t!” Gabriel hissed at Dean, pinning him against a wall. His growl relaxed into a smirk, “I guess that makes me more important in his life than you.”

What made Dean angry wasn’t that Sam was friends with him. No, it was that Sam hadn’t told him that he had a new friend when he started spending time with Gabriel; that _Gabriel_ was making Sam happy when he should be the one doing so; what made him angry was that Gabriel probably didn’t start being friends with Sam for the candy reason…

“You have no right to say that.” Dean told him, pushing Gabriel off him, making Gabriel stumble slightly, trying to find his balance once again. The movement was easier now; he was much stronger than before. Now he wasn’t that kid who let himself be pushed around, he was learning how to fight back. Even if he was only running for now, it meant that not only had he developed a better stamina, but his mind was also stronger, more determined, sharper than before. He knew that he deserved to punch the other guy, that he shouldn’t allow himself to be walked over.

“Is that what you think? Then how about you get to know _me_ before you go tell your brother I’m not good enough to be his friend!” Gabriel asked, with a genuine intent for Dean to get to know him better-he wanted to continue to be a part of Sam’s life!

Dean huffed, extremely annoyed with Gabriel.

“Yeah. That’s exactly it. You’re not good enough for him!” Dean snapped, why did Gabriel care anyway?!

Gabriel was just as annoyed as Dean was himself. He understood why Dean would think so lowly of him-after all, he had never been particularly nice to him, but that didn’t mean the wasn’t willing -and already trying- to change!

“Well, how about you try to get to know me before you say that?” He really wanted Dean to approve of their friendship; and he wanted to prove to Dean that he was _good_ for Sam. Even if he had to repeat his speech a thousand times, he would try and prove Dean wrong. “Really, let me show you how I _really_ am! Please let me prove to you that I’m worth Sam’s friendship!”

The fact that Gabriel was begging Dean was an unspoken truth and though Dean could hear it, he didn’t care enough to admit it.

He snorted and his eyes hardened as he looked at Gabriel.

“I know all I need to know about ya; you do what your brother tells you to do, and you will most likely hurt Sammy.” As if Gabriel could ever be good enough for his brother.  Dean knew every possible outcome of that friendship and he knew all of them would get his little brother hurt. Dean walked to the older teen almost predatorily and grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer, the other boy’s face only a few inches away from his own. “And I won’t let that happen. Not now, not ever!”

Gabriel didn’t try to free himself, instead letting the younger teen do what he wanted.

“That might have been true in the past…” Gabriel started. His heart was racing, since he wasn’t expecting Dean to fight back, and most certainly, he wasn’t expecting Dean to be so protective of his brother. He took a deep breath before continuing his speech. “But not anymore. Your brother is a good kid. I like him… I really do! I would never hurt him… Ev-Even if Castiel asked me to.” Gabriel said as his eyes showed not only his desperation but also his determination. “Not even blackmailed I would try to hurt him! Not even if Cassie was the one blackmailing me!” Gabriel’s eyes were shinning with determination, and it looked like he was speaking the truth.

“Oh really?” Dean asked, looking at Gabriel, and his hand started to let the older boy go. “Then you must know… Sammy hurts when I’m hurt. I don’t know what Cas wants, but if I end up being hurt, Sam will never forgive you for not trying to stop it.” Dean knows that if Gabriel’s words are really what he feels, then he will try to stop Castiel. Though Cas promised not to try and find out, Dean knew that he would find a way to know what he wanted to know.

Gabriel recoiled, a little annoyed.  “What the hell do you think I’ve been doing in the past two weeks you moron?! Cassie wants to know who hurt your arm, and since you refused to tell him, he asked me to find it out through Sam… _Not once! Not even once I asked him about it!_ ” Gabriel was yelling the last bit, he knew that Dean was a protective older brother, hell! He was a protective older brother too! But that didn’t mean everyone was a threat and that they couldn’t mean well to the ones you care about! “I’ve been trying to prevent Cassie from doing anything drastic like last time… Poor Balthy hasn’t recovered from that yet…”

Why did Castiel care so much about who hurt him?! It didn’t make sense in Dean’s mind. Why did Cas want to know so bad? Sure, when you want to know something and someone refuses it to you, it burns your curiosity … Still, couldn’t he respect his wishes?

“Why does he want to know so badly?” Dean asked, completely letting go of Gabriel’s shirt. He was so confused, he didn’t know what to think anymore. Why did it matter who hurt him?

“Because you won’t tell him! Moreover, it makes it impossible for him to stop trying to know. If I were you I would just end it all and tell him! That would make him stop… However telling him will make me go away from Sam… He would tell me to go away, that it’s not necessary anymore that I hang out with him… And he would, most likely, tell Sam why I became friends with him… And I- I can’t have that. If anything I’ll tell Sam the reasons I had, and because Cassie will leave out some details that are important, it really needs to be me… So, on second thought, don’t tell him.”

Dean frowned. The guy was right. Telling him would make Gabriel back off from Sam. However, telling Castiel, meant that he would _know_ who hurt him, and Castiel wasn’t exactly dumb… He could see that Dean had been hurt multiple times-more than any other person should have in their fifteen years. Having Gabriel on his side could be exactly what he needed.  Someone to distract Castiel from finding out… Dean couldn’t have anyone knowing what was wrong, because if they did, not only him but the other person would be in some serious trouble. That was exactly what he was trying to avoid. In addition, if preventing Castiel from finding out meant he allowed Gabriel to be friends with his brother, then he would. He just hoped Gabriel was true to his word and that his intentions were pure.

“Now that I have your support on not telling Cas… What could he possibly ask Balthazar to do?” Dean was curious. What was the God Awful deed Castiel had forced upon his brother to leave him mentally scarred?

Gabriel burst out laughing.

“Oh…” Gabe said, trying to catch his breath. “Cassie asked Balthazar to break into someone’s home in the middle of the night and…” Gabriel stopped talking and gave a few chuckles before continuing. “And he had to stay there until the person told him what Cassie wanted to know. As soon as the guy heard Balthy walking in he called the cops, but he told them to wait for a while before going in, and Balthazar got tied up to a chair…” A few more chuckles. “…Then the police showed up and took him. He had to spend the night next to a guy who kept trying to fuck him.”

Dean didn’t hear the whole thing, his eyes stared at the ground and the words kept repeating in his mind. He stopped listening when the words ‘ _break into someone’s home’_ were said. Dean’s eyes widened and his face turned a few shades paler.

“He can’t do that… Not this time.” Turning his head back to Gabriel, Dean saw the confusion in his face. “Whatever happens, don’t let Balthazar do that.”

As Gabriel frowned deepened, Dean looked even paler than before.

“Why can’t he do that?”

Dean gulped. He couldn’t say it. Gabriel was on his side, but he couldn’t put _anyone_ in danger.

“My dad once called the cops because he heard someone break inside… It was only me, but he called the cops, and he had me spend the night in jail because I forgot my keys inside. He promised that the next person who would break in wouldn’t have the cops waiting for him… He would have his gun ready to shoot. He was in the army for a while, so he’s a bit paranoid… Don’t let Balthazar do it…” As much of a jackass Balthazar could be, Dean feared for his security. “Please… Please don’t let him…”

Gabriel gave a short nod, albeit still a little confused. Even if Dean’s dad was a bit paranoid, why would he shoot? He didn’t understand, but he trusted Dean. The boy looked so scared that it made him fear for his own safety.

“Alright… I don’t actually believe that is the real reason, but you sound pretty desperate… I will try to keep them both from going there.”

A wave of relief washed through Dean, but he still feared for their security. Not for one second did he trust his father. He knew better than to believe that John wouldn’t do anything to the person breaking in.

“Thank you.” Dean said. He didn’t feel all too well; his legs were a bit shaky and he felt a cold sweat in his face, burning as it fell to his eyes. Dean looked at Gabriel one last time, gave him a short nod, and left the empty room, with Gabriel remaining alone with his thoughts.

_This doesn’t make sense… Why can’t we go to their home?! First it was Sam, who wouldn’t let me come over; now Dean doesn’t want Balthy to go there… Something is not right…_

It was then that a sudden realization hit him, and he felt extremely stupid for not thinking of it before.

_Oh… Ohhh… It must be someone from their family that did that to him! Domestic violence perhaps? But…who would have such a cruel a heart to think of abusing their own child?_


	22. Midnight Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr: hellaadestiel.tumblr.com

Chapter 22 – Midnight Memories

Being awake at midnight was something Gabriel was used to. He liked to sleep in the morning and go to sleep late at night. Some call it being stupid. He called it ‘being born in the wrong continent’. Additionally, for being awake so late, it meant that Gabriel needed food in his room- for a midnight snack that is… and a 1 am snack…basically they were snacks for whenever he felt like eating actually. Having a snack every day, and every night as many times as he wanted to was something that was nearly impossible. There were some nights, such as that one, in which he needed to go to their kitchen and get some food-actual food-and not just sweets, to eat.

Walking down the hall of the last floor without making any noise was easy; he was so used to it, that it wasn’t even necessary to remind himself to be careful about it.

So there he was, at midnight, walking down the stairs without making a sound, looking at the walls he usually didn’t look at during the day-mostly because he was used to seeing them. However at night he felt like he needed to see every little detail in them. Every photograph on those walls brought a different feeling to him, but there was one picture that he never looked at. Strangely enough it was the one where the three brothers looked happy. Once he found himself staring at that picture, he couldn’t stop himself from going back to those times. The times where they _were all genuinely happy._

**~Twelve years earlier~**

“Come on! Let’s go!!” Balthazar cried, taking Gabriel’s hand in his and pulling him along.

They ran for a while until they reached the park. Wide smiles across their faces, eyes shining with happiness. 

The older brothers were running next to each other, while little Castiel was walking beside their babysitter Naomi-Castiel didn’t like her. While she let his brothers play around freely, she always tried to control Castiel, never letting him do anything by himself. The three year old was accustomed to such treatment, so he usually just obeyed.

As soon as they reached the park, Balthazar and Gabriel looked at the swing set and ran up to it. There were two sets of swings, and out of the four places another boy was occupying one of them. The brothers let go of each other’s hands and ran up to the swings, jumping into them and kick starting the momentum.

Naomi and Castiel were a little behind Balthazar and Gabe, so they walked inside the children’s park a little after the two boys. Naomi found herself a bench to sit on and took her magazine out of her bag.

A few seconds after she started to read the magazine, Naomi noticed Castiel was sitting beside her. She needed the money, so she started babysitting the boys, but she wanted to read her magazine for a while, without being bothered.

“Go play on the swing, Castiel.” The babysitter told him, while flipping the pages of her magazine, trying to find the article the cover was talking about. As soon as she found it, she started reading it and stopped paying attention to the boys.

Whilst any other kid would be happy that he could be on the park and play around, Castiel wasn’t. In fact, Castiel was afraid of the swings, but he went nonetheless. Slowly, Castiel walked in front of his brothers.

“Hey Gabe! I can reach higher than you do!” A five year old Balthazar bragged, with a huge smile in his face.

Gabriel grinned.

“You wish!” He told his brother, as his tongue darted out of his mouth playfully.

Castiel was all alone, while his brothers played with each other. The younger boy sighed and looked at the empty seat, and walked up to it. What Castiel wasn’t counting in was for the other boy, the one who was in the swing set before they walked inside the park, to kick him in the head. As the unexpected happened, Castiel fell to the ground, and his head hit against a hard rock.

He didn’t have time to scream in pain; he didn’t have time to feel the pain, Castiel simply fell unconscious on the ground and didn’t move as a puddle of blood started to gather near the young boys’ head.

Yet the one who actually brought the others attention as to what had happened was the culprit himself. He was a bit older than Balthazar, but not more than seven. A he saw the blood, he let out a scream that made Gabriel and Balthazar look at him, wondering what had shocked him.

“OH MY GOD!” The boy yelled startling Naomi, who was still reading her magazine.

Both brothers looked to the ground, and shocked yelps left their mouths as they jumped from their seats and kneeled down next to Castiel. They were unsure as to what to make of the situation, their brains dimmed from the shock. So they used to the most logical tactic and tried to wake him up.

 “Cassie?” Balthazar asked gently as he gently shook the motionless body of his younger brother. When his brother didn’t wake up, he looked at Gabriel.

Gabriel’s face displayed a clear look of horror. His eyes were wide and his mouth was open. He finally faced his older brother, trying to find the answer as to why Castiel wasn’t waking up. Once he saw the desperation in his brother’s eyes, Gabriel shook Castiel even harder than Balthazar had.

“Cassie!” Gabriel said, his voice starting to break with the tears that were threatening to fall from his eyes. Panic took a hold of him and made him fearful. “CASSIE, WAKE UP!”

As soon as his words left his mouth, Naomi raised her eyes from her magazine and saw Castiel lying on the floor, with Balthazar and Gabriel next to him. She rolled her eyes and called the boys.

“Boys! Get up from the ground!” when the boys ignored her, she huffed and raised herself from the bench. She started walking up to them. “Castiel! Get up from the ground right-”

Naomi didn’t get to finish what she wanted to say. Her eyes saw the blood on the ground and she took her phone from the wallet. She called for an ambulance and told them all that she knew. She knelt next to the boy who started crying, the one who kicked Castiel and asked him what happened.

“I-I-It w-was… an acid-dent” The boy cried once finished telling Naomi what happened.

“You should be more careful.” She told him as the boy cried and ran away from her, in fear she would get angry with him. The ambulance arrived soon after that and Naomi and the boys rode with Castiel on it.

***

For three weeks, Castiel stayed in a coma. His parents blamed Naomi for not doing her job as she should and fired her. However, Balthazar and Gabriel blamed themselves for what had happened; they thought it was their fault, since they weren’t paying attention to their little brother, and so they thought they let it happen. It took them days to make them understand that Naomi was the one to blame, but they never fully believed it.

Those were dark times for the Novaks. No one knew if Castiel was ever going to wake up, or if was simply going to stay on a coma for the rest of his life. They all feared losing him, and they dreaded the moment whenever their phone rang and when they weren’t in the hospital. They never knew if it was good news, or if it was just the hospital telling them that Castiel _hadn’t made it_ , there was also the possibility that it was another family member who heard about the situation and was worried about little Cassie. It was always the latter, and that thought made them more relieved about the situation. They didn’t want to pick up the phone to explain –yet again- that Castiel hadn’t woken up yet, and that he might not wake up at all, since the head trauma was a really bad one.

Castiel woke up when his brothers were visiting him, he heard them crying and asked them was wrong. The boys looked at their brother, surprised and cried louder, in relief to see their brother awake after three weeks of just his body being there not moving at all. Their mother –who had come to the hospital with them on that particular day - heard the boys crying and came from the hallway to see Castiel’s deep blue eyes fluttering awake for the first time in almost a month. Tears of joy began to roll down her face.

The brothers made a promise that from that they on, whatever Castiel asked them to do was what they would do. They had been too scared of losing him, so they promised never to question his brother again, and to always, always obey his requests.

That was how things started to change. Castiel stayed in the hospital for another week, and when he went home, his brothers paid him far more attention and he loved it. Anything he asked, his brothers found a way of complying as soon as possible.

However, that was also when Castiel started to change. The taste of sweet power had driven him to ask for more and more. When Castiel fell into the coma was the moment Sweet Little Castiel died; and the one who woke up on that hospital room three weeks later grew up to become Castiel, the King of getting whatever he wanted, when he wanted it.

**~Back to the Future~**

The picture in the wall was from the Christmas before the accident. Castiel was just a two year old boy who had been content with his simple Christmas present and for being with his brothers.

Gabriel shook his head-the memories didn’t seem to want to be forgotten. After a while of staring at that picture, he finally faced the stairs one more time and continued to walk down to the kitchen.

“That’s what you get for being hungry at this insane hour.” Gabriel reprimanded himself for his late night appetite. “You should have just let sleep take over when you decided to watch High School Musical one hour ago!” he said to himself as he grabbed a full pack of Oreos and got himself two large bottles Ice Tea to drink with it. “At least now that you have that one down… you have a reason to watch the rest of them.” Gabriel continued talking to himself as he tried to shake the memories away. “This is what I get for walking around at midnight… Midnight memories.” He said to himself, morose and reminiscent, as he walked up the stairs and back into his lair. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave your thoughts and reactions, so that I know what you think of this chapter! Thanks for all the kudos you guys left me so far! You're awesome!


	23. After the practice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you this was going to be a long one! ;)  
> I hope you like it, and please comment with your thoughts and if you have any suggestions,tell me! ^.^  
> I hope you like this chapter!  
> Also, I wrote a one shot, and I would like to ask you guys to read it! Please tell me if I you would like to see some more chapters to it! It's called: "By The Principal's Door". Let me know what you think!

Chapter 23 – After the practice

After almost three weeks of running in the gym, Dean felt like the thirty laps were the easiest thing ever. He would run every day, trying to gain stamina, and now he could run for more laps than necessary.

“Which lap is this one?” Benny asked Dean as the boy passed him.

Dean turned around mid-run and smiled before answering, continuing his lap.

“Thirty-three!” He replied, giving Benny a thumbs up.

Benny chuckled, “Alright Champion, get over here!” Dean jogged to him and waited a few seconds for him to continue, but since Benny didn’t seem to be making any action to start talking, Dean took his opportunity.

“So… Can I start learning how to fight now?” He asked, a large smile forming on his lips.

Benny smirked, “No.” Dean pouted and prepared himself to argue, but Benny continued talking before he had the chance to say anything. “I still want you to do something before we go on” Benny stopped talking once again, and Dean thought that he was doing it on purpose.

“Come on Benny! Tell me what I gotta do now!” He asked, eager to continue with their practice.

Benny chuckled. “I’m getting to it! Now that you can run the thirty laps, I want you to do some push-ups and sit-ups before you get your fighting skills.”

Dean nodded and sat on the floor.

“How many?” He asked simply, getting ready for the sit-ups.

“Ten of each… And you gotta hold each of them for ten seconds before you go to the next one.”

What Dean thought was going to be easy, turned out to be much difficult than he had ever imagined. The first three sit ups were fine, but as began the fourth, his abs started to hurt. Nonetheless, he continued, and as the last one of them came, Dean held himself for fifteen seconds, as if to prove that he could do better than what was asked of him.

“That was good, buddy. Now you gotta do the push-ups!” Benny told him, reminding him that he was almost where he needed to be before starting the actual fighting lessons.

Dean flipped around on the floor and positioned himself so he was ready to do the push-ups. At the same moment, Benny smirked. “I wonder what would happen if I suddenly decided to put something on your back… Do you think you could do it?” He asked Dean, absolutely sure of what the boy would answer.

Dean was counting the seconds before he could get down again to start the next push-up, almost missing Benny’s words.

“You gotta do what you gotta do.” Dean said simply as he went down, and waited ten more seconds before continuing.

Benny got Dean’s schoolbag and placed it on Dean’s back. The bag was heavy, since it was full of Dean’s books and some extra clothes for after practice, but Dean could handle the bag on his back anytime.

“What if I asked ya to hold it for fifteen seconds instead of ten?” Benny asked, making Dean continue counting instead of lowering his body once again.

“I’d do it without a doubt.” Dean said, remembering Benny’s rules.

“That’s the spirit!” Benny replied, proud of Dean’s attitude.

Dean completed the push-ups and sat himself on the floor, looking at Benny expectantly.

“Alright, get up, Dean-o!” Benny stretched out his hand to Dean in order to help him get up, but Dean seemed to be very eager for the actual training, because he was up in a second, without using the support offered to him. “Alright… I’m gonna teach you the basics, so come here.”

Dean walked along with Benny as they went to the corner of the gym in which the punching bags were. Benny started to show Dean how to throw a fist at someone; like how he should position his hands, how he should be standing, where to punch, and above all, how to not break his hand while punching someone.

“Dean, you’re gonna stand sideways to your target,” Benny directed as he molded Dean’s body to show him the correct way to stand. “And you’re gonna put your left foot in front of you, but not too much, it’s mostly just for a question of balance.” Dean nodded, indicating that he understood Benny’s words, and placed his left foot in front of his body as if it was looking at his target. “And you’re gonna correct the way you place your foot right now before you start running laps again… Your foot is supposed to be standing almost at a forty-five degree angle to your target. The way you’re standing is very similar to that of an archer.”

Dean nodded, but he didn’t exactly understand why he couldn’t just be standing in front of whoever he wanted to punch.

“Why do I have to do that?” Dean asked, because it was easier to do things when you understand why you shouldn’t do them.

“You wanna know why? It’s a simple matter of whether you’re a big target or it’s more difficult to harm you while you’re fighting someone.” Dean nodded, and positioned himself in the way Benny had showed him. Benny grabbed a tape measure from the floor; he opened it and placed it on the floor, from the middle of the punching bag forming a diagonal line. “You see this line? This line will tell you how to place your feet. Your left toe goes to the left side in that forty-five degree angle I told you about, and it has to be touching the line, while your right heel goes to the other side and steps on the line. Like this….” Benny explained as he placed himself in front of the bag. “That way you’re not completely sideways;” He said as he demonstrated his point, by placing each foot away from the line. “You’re not completely looking away from your opponent;” Benny continued, as each foot went to the line and he stepped on it. “But rather, you’re actually standing comfortably with your left toe and right heel on the line…” Benny finished explaining, placing himself in the correct way. “This way you can still have your shoulders above your knees, you want a little bend on the knees, your elbows are tucked in, your left hand is next to your cheek, and your right is under your chin, which is turned to the floor… Now you do it!”

Benny left the place he was standing and let Dean get in place. At first, Dean spent more time looking at his feet than actually doing what Benny had told him.

“You gotta face your target Dean!” Benny reprimanded the boy, making him raise his chin slightly. “That’s a bit better! Now, you’re gonna come out of there and go to another punching bag and do the same, but you won’t have anything to guide your feet…”

Dean walked to the nearest bag and did his best to remember where every body part had to be. He managed to do it almost perfect, but the only thing he got wrong was his feet.

“You got your feet wrong…” Benny said simply, as he watched Dean look down and blush slightly. He changed his feet to the correct position and Benny nodded, pleased. “That’s it, kid! Now you know how to stand! Before we move further, you’re gonna practice standing when you’re home, ask your brother or your friend to be in front of you… Tell them what you’re supposed to do, and then you ask them to throw water at you when you get it wrong.” Benny commanded and Dean nodded. Upon Dean’s nod, Benny started laughing. “Are you seriously gonna ask them to throw water at ya? I was joking!”

Dean looked at Benny, his face straight, and saw the way his “older brother” was laughing.

“Rules are rules… _Never question them._ ” Dean said simply, making Benny nod in agreement.

“I’m glad you have your priorities straight, Dean!” Benny replied, his face showing all the pride he was feeling. “This is it for today. Remember to keep running and to practice how to stand!”

Dean grabbed his things and left the gym, heading for the locker room. It had been an hour since the last class, and so he relaxed completely.

_Man, I’m jaded! Damn I really stink! I really gotta take a shower…_

And with that thought, Dean gathered his things out of his locker and placed them in the bench that was in front of it. He took his shower gel, shampoo and his towel. Luckily for him, the school had warm water in the showers so he wouldn’t freeze when it hit him.

He opened the shower tap and waited for the water to reach a comfortable warmth. He walked back to the bench and left his clothes there. When he got back to the showers, steam had begun to rise from the floor of the shower. Dean walked to his showerhead, and relaxed as the water flowed over his body. The feeling of the water worked miracles for his aching muscles.

Dean took the shower gel and started rubbing it over himself to clean the sweat that had gathered from his practice. As he started to rinse it off, Dean hummed the melody of a song that had been stuck in his head. Soon enough, he started singing the lyrics too.

“ _I'm an angel with a shotgun, shotgun, shotgun, an angel with a shotgun, shotgun, shotgun...”_ Dean sang softly as he rubbed his chest clean. “ _Get out your guns, battles begun; are you a saint, or a sinner? If love's a fight, then I shall die, with my heart on a trigger._ ” He grabbed the shower gel bottle once again to get some more to clean his legs. “ _They say before you start a war, you better know what you're fighting for. Well baby, you are all that I adore, if love is what you need, a soldier I will be.”_ The water continued to fall down on him, taking the foam to the ground. “ _I'm an angel with a shotgun, fighting til' the wars won, I don't care if heaven won't take me back. I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe. Don't you know you're everything I have? And I, wanna live, not just survive, tonight.”_ He grabbed the shampoo bottle and threw some of its contents in his hand. He started rubbing his hair and he sang the next bit of the song. “ _Sometimes to win, you've got to sin, don't mean I’m not a believer. And major tom, will sing along. Yeah, they still say I’m a dreamer. They say before you start a war, you better know what you're fighting for. Well baby, you are all that I adore, if love is what you need, a soldier I will be.”_ Dean wasn’t just singing the song as it was supposed to be sang, Dean was adding a bit of himself to it, letting the words linger when he felt it should stay for a bit more. “ _I'm an angel with a shotgun, fighting til' the wars won, I don't care if heaven won't take me back. I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe. Don't you know you're everything I have? And I, wanna live, not just survive, tonight. Ooohhh, ooohhh, whoa, whoa, oooh, whoa”_ Rinsing the shampoo from his head was his next task, and soon, he was putting a bit more in his hand, just to be thorough. “ _I'm an angel with a shotgun...Fighting til' the wars won...I don't care if heaven won't take me back..._ ” As soon as he was done with the second rinsing of the shampoo, Dean just let himself sing the next bit, using the showerhead as his microphone. “ _I'm an angel with a shotgun, fighting til' the wars won, I don't care if heaven won't take me back. I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe. Don't you know you're everything I have. And I, want to live not just survive, tonight. And I'm gonna hide, hide, hide my wings tonight.”_

Dean was singing so loudly that he didn’t notice the sound the door made as it opened. Castiel stepped inside, searching for the person to which the voice belonged. As he saw the bench with clothes, Castiel heard the last part of the song.

“ _They say before you start a war, you better know what you're fighting for. Well baby, you are all that I adore, if love is what you need, a soldier I will be.”_

_Who could be the person singing so beautifully?_

The answer to his question came quickly, as Dean said aloud.

“Dammit Charlie! Why the hell did I tell you I was learning how to fight?!” He said angrily. “Of course you would show me a song about it that would get stuck on my head for the whole week!”

After that, Castiel was a hundred percent sure the voice belonged to Dean. Castiel didn’t know what to think about the whole situation; he was torn between staying there and confronting Dean about his voice or just leaving, not letting Dean know he had heard him. There was also another thing lingering in his mind…

_Why is Dean learning how to fight? I said in front of the school that he is mine… Are people still after him? They should not be… He should be free from it all._

As Dean walked out of the showers with the steam following him into the locker room, he saw Castiel sitting in the bench where he left his clothes, lost deep in thought.

“What are you doing here?” Dean asked. It’s not like he was angry that Cas was sitting there, he was simply curious, since school finished so long ago, why would anyone still be there?

Dean’s voice snapped him back to reality, and made him jump slightly, forgetting momentarily that he wasn’t alone in the locker room. Castiel didn’t remember what Dean asked him, he only had one thing in his mind at the moment, so he asked it.

“Who do you want to fight?” He asked, leaving Dean unprepared to answer the question.

As the question sank in Dean, he blushed. He wasn’t expecting anyone to find out, nor did he ever expect to have to explain what he was doing to anyone apart from Sammy and Charlie.

“To protect myself from anyone who tries to hurt me or those I care about…” Dean told him, his voice steady, leaving him proud of himself for not showing how embarrassed he actually was of the situation.

Castiel nodded in acknowledgement. Despite never having said it, Castiel admired Dean and he was impressed that he was learning how to fight for protection.

“You never cease to surprise me.” Cas muttered, but it wasn’t low enough that Dean didn’t hear it. As Dean listened to Castiel’s muttered words he looked at the other boy, his face covered in a deep blush. After all, Dean still had a crush on him. No matter what Castiel did to him, deep down he was still dreaming about the day Castiel would notice him, not in a ‘I want to torture you’ kind of way but more like ‘You’re cute and I like you’ kind of way.

“Why’s that?”

A smirk graced Castiel’s features. He now had the chance to explain his interest in Dean. He would never just say what he thought about people, unless they asked him. And most of them where too afraid to do so…

“You’re unlike everyone else. They’re all so easy to control and manipulate that it gets boring… But you, you always fight back and that makes you better than all of those idiots.”

Castiel’s confession left Dean confused. _Is he complimenting me?_

“Plus, you can sing.” Castiel added after seeing Dean’s confused face.

_I look like a high school girl! Why am I blushing so hard? Yes, I still like him, but why do I have to blush to everything he says?_

“What?!” Dean asked, embarrassed beyond words. “No I don’t!”

“Yes you do… I heard you!” Castiel stated firmly, not letting Dean escape.

 _Shit! Note to self: never sing when you’re in school…_ Dean thought to himself. _Self to note: then where can I sing?_

“That was nothing…” Dean muttered embarrassed.

Only then did Castiel notice that Dean was only wearing a towel and remembered that he was having a shower when he walked into the locker room. Looking to every bit of Dean’s chest, Castiel noticed just how built up he had gotten.

“And your arm looks better than the last time I saw it.” Castiel stated, letting his eyes wander from Dean’s arm to his chest. After running so much, Dean was starting to gain a different body type. He was getting built up in his stomach, and his legs were getting more muscular. The whole practice with Benny was something that he truly was thankful for, having every muscle on his body sore after it was worth everything because he truly felt different and stronger than before. “You look different.”

Not understanding what Castiel was talking about, Dean frowned and he followed Castiel’s stare with his eyes. Once he noticed Cas was looking at his now a bit toned chest, even Dean’s ears turned red.

“Yes. I guess that’s what running does to people.” Dean said trying to shake his embarrassment away with a funny reply. “Why did you come here Cas? Shouldn’t you be home?”

Castiel’s eyes continued fixed on Dean’s chest.

“I stayed behind because I wanted to ask Mrs. Mosely about something she said in class and she started ranting about her daughter…” Castiel explained. “…And then I was going home but I heard you singing and decided to find out to whom the voice belonged.”

Droplets of water were falling down Dean’s face, and he shivered. He was starting to feel cold as he left the showers a few minutes before.  Castiel noticed and understood Dean would need to get dressed soon or he would freeze, even if the steam was still coming towards him.

“So you just came here to check out who was singing… Now you know, so you can leave!” Dean said trying to get his teeth to stop chattering.

Castiel smirked and got himself more comfortable in his seat.

“It’s too cold outside… I’m just gonna wait here for a bit if you don’t mind…”

Dean rolled his eyes. It was too cold to be standing there waiting for _Your Majesty_ to think it was time to leave.

“Whatever.” Dean replied as he grabbed his clothes to get dressed on the other side of the lockers. “Just stay there.” He asked. It was not as if Dean trusted Castiel wouldn’t try to peek on him getting dressed so he used his towel to shield himself from anyone’s view.

“You know, I actually wanted to ask you something…” Castiel said from the other side. “Are you ever going to tell me who hurt you?”

“Are you ever gonna let that one go?” Dean asked as he cursed himself mentally. He thanked God Castiel hadn’t seen his back… He had most of his scars in his back, and if Castiel saw them he would insist more and more on the matter.

“No.” Castiel said simply.

“No.”

Getting dressed in a record time was something that left Dean smiling, as soon as he had clothes around his arms and legs he sighed. It was much better like that! He grabbed his towel and walked back to Castiel’s side to gather his things.

Castiel looked at him and sighed himself too.

“It’s a shame…” He said, as Dean frowned.

“What?” Dean asked.

“You put your clothes on.”  Cas answered, making Dean blush harder than ever before.

_Is he saying he likes my body? Oh my God! He is!! What do I do now?_

“Hmm… Cas… Hmm…” Dean stuttered slightly trying to think of anything to say. Sadly, he found nothing and resorted to his usual first instinct- did whatever he could to run away and hide. He grabbed all his belongings and shoved them into his bag as quickly as he could. Once he was all done, he looked at Castiel who apparently was still waiting for an answer. “I gotta go… See ya.”

_I really am a high school girl who just got told by her crush that she has nice eyes!!! Ugh! Why did I even run? I feel more controlled by him just by letting him think he won!_

Castiel watched Dean leave and yet another sigh dropped from his parted lips. With a flick of his tongue, he found his mouth had become inexplicably dry. _Why does he still feel the need to run? What is he hiding? And why does he have such severe trust issues?_ A moment later, Castiel decided to head out, questions buzzing through his head again in what seemed like a very short span of time. Once more he needed answers.


	24. Cold Water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S NOW BETA'ED  
> Also, please send me asks on tumblr (hellaadestiel.tumblr.com) to remind me I gotta write more chapters... You can also talk to me about things you want to see in chapters there, I go there everyday and that is why sometimes it takes me so long to write.  
> I am going to post a Valentine's Day fic tomorrow because I got inspired, so feel free to read it when I post it!

Chapter 24 – Cold Water

Dean ran out of the locker room and about three hallways down, he stopped to think about what happened. He knew it was cowardly of him to just walk away like that, but he wasn’t ready to talk to Cas. If th boy was going to flirt with him, he needed some time to think about a reply. Every time he dreamt of it, Dean would think he would ace it. Yet when the actual moment came, that wasn’t what happened, of course. Dean’s brain froze along with his heart, only to have a thousand thoughts penetrate his mind and his heart beat faster and faster. Who could blame him for what happened? Who could blame him for running away?

Dean let out a breath and started walking home, dragging his school bag and shower things along with him.

The walk home was uneventful. Except for the thousand replies Dean was thinking up- he had the best answers too-but he knew he wouldn’t say any of them. He was too shy to say them out loud. Maybe if he tried saying them in front of a mirror? Hmm, but that would just seem like a chick-flick-and he really couldn’t have his life looking like that! Of course he could thinkof a thousand ways that he could actually say what he wanted and only be slightly embarrassed, and of course it involved singing. To Cas. He knew the other boy liked his voice, but he couldn’t do it… How could he look to Castiel’s face after he sang him a silly love song? He wouldn’t ever be able to face him after it happened, so that one was crossed off the list. There was something Dean thought could actually be the answer…

_What if I stopped running away? Would he hurt me? He hasn’t so far… So maybe next time I could stay and figure something to say…_

And with that, he found himself by his front door. He unlocked the door and went inside.

His evening would be mostly uneventful that day… Since Bobby told him he didn’t need to go to work that day, Dean was home early. He sat down and started doing his homework. His routine was simple: wake up, shower, breakfast, school, lunch, school, practice, work, shower, homework, helping Sammy, making dinner for him and Sammy, having dinner, making dinner for his dad and go to sleep after getting the kitchen clean. Since he was two-steps ahead of schedule, Dean decided to start cooking before time so that he could catch up with Sam a bit more during dinner. He finished his homework and started to get everything he would need to cook.

 The pan was on the stove and Dean had to try his best not to let it burn. He succeeded placing the meat on the pan and so far, it was going well. Because of his lack of skills, Dean had to wait until he finished getting the meat done to start cooking the pasta. His day had been a good one-somehow. Castiel had noticed him, and that made him panic slightly-‘cause you know, despite dreaming one day it would happen, he never actually thought the other boy would ever say he liked his body.

 Humming to _‘The god that failed’_ by Metallica, Dean kept his thoughts idle by preparing dinner.

The front door opened, but Dean didn’t mind it, it was probably Sammy getting home from school. But as the door was shut with too much force, Dean knew that it was his father getting home.

The young Winchester stood in the kitchen, waiting nervously as his father stomped inside their place, going straight to their kitchen.

_What’s he doing here? He should be at work!_

“What are you doing boy?” John asked, looking at his son. Dean looked at his father, standing as a soldier would before their superior. One look at his father’s eyes told him everything he needed to know. Just by looking at his face, he knew that John had been drinking.

“I’m making dinner, sir.” Dean replied. Not only did the way he stood remind him of a soldier, but also the way he spoke to his father, the way he looked at him waiting for the consent to speak… In no way did it resemble the typical relationship of a father and his son.

John looked at his son, pleased with the way he spoke to him. He liked when Dean showed him respect. However, there was something about the situation that made John angry.

“Are you going to lemme taste it or what, boy?” John asked, stepping closer to a chair and sinking down into it.

“Yes… Of course!” Dean answered, taking the pan away from the stove, and placing it carefully on the table, in front of John. Quickly, Dean moved around the kitchen to grab a fork and a knife. As he was about to hand the cutlery to John, he simply grabbed it out of Dean’s hands, muttering something that resembled “ _Fucking idiot_ ”.

John cut a bit of one of the hamburgers Dean had cooked and placed it in his mouth. He chewed for a few seconds before spitting it all out. His faced showed disgust and his eyes reflected the fury in his mind.

“WHAT THE FUCK?! ARE YOU TRYING TO POISON ME, BOY?!” John yelled at Dean, making the boy shiver. He knew what was going to happen. Every time, it happened like this. But Dean still hoped for a day when it would be different. A day where John would just calm himself down and not do anything to him. “WHY THE FUCK DID YA PUT THIS MUCH SALT IN IT, BOY?!”

Dean was scared. Dean was always scared. The only thing that kept him going was Sammy. The only thing that made him want to put on a show and pretend to be brave was Sammy. Even when his little brother wasn’t around, Dean still tried to live his life as he would like his brother to see him.

“Sammy says he likes it this way…” The young Winchester replied in a low voice, afraid of what would could next. He knew it would happen, he knew he couldn’t avoid it, but that didn’t make his eyes shoot wide open. That didn’t make him not gulp in fear of what would happen. He visibly flinched.

“I DON’T GIVE A SHIT! FUCK YA! YOU’RE A GOOD FO’ NOTHING! YA CAN’T EVEN COOK DECEN’LY!”

As usual, Dean stood in his spot, not daring to move. His father would only be more enraged if he moved. John grabbed the first thing he saw and threw it towards Dean. As the pan’s route was almost ending, Dean defended his face and grabbed the pan with his bare hands. As stupid as that could possibly sound, Dean did the best he could to protect where it would hurt more. If he got hit on the face with the burning hot frying pan, not only would he possibly have broken his skull, but he would also have his face burnt. Getting his hands in front of his face to grab the pan seemed like the most logical thing he could do in the short amount of time he had to think. He grabbed the pan right above the place where it had been on the stove, and for about fifty seconds, he couldn’t get his hands from letting go. The oil in the pain was all over his arms and it all _hurt_. His hands got burnt and for once, Dean let everything go. He couldn’t handle letting all the pain inside of him, so he just let it all out.

In an agonizing scream, Dean let the world know what he felt. His scream was powerful, since it showed all the pain Dean had trapped inside of him.

Dean’s voice woke something up in John. He felt the desire to hit the boy until he shut up. Screaming children always made him angry. Moreover, listening to his own son behaving like that made him as angry as he could be. John stomped closer to Dean and kicked him in the abdomen. The pain in Dean’s hands was strong, and suddenly receiving a blow like that somewhere else only made him let out a strangled scream, trying to stop himself from doing so. After so many years of living with John, he knew what his father liked and what would hurt him. He knew all too well that his father wasn’t one for screaming people, that was also part of why he never let his father know how he felt when John hit him. Despite everything, Dean still wanted to make John proud, even if it was just by being strong enough…

“STOP SCREAMIN’” John yelled, kicking Dean’s chest. Dean tried, he really did. And he would have most likely succeeded if it weren’t for the kicks he was getting.

Dean was curled up on himself by the counter. He was trying his best to protect his body from the kicks he was getting from his father. Doing the best he could, Dean bit his own tongue to make himself shut up, and soon he was feeling the taste of blood in his mouth.

“YA FUCKIN’ PUSSY!” John kept yelling, accentuating each word with a kick wherever his foot would reach.

Without knowing what was happening inside their home, Sam walked through the door, a smile plastered on his face while thinking about how tasty the cookies Gabriel gave him when they hang out after school. It was hard not to listen when Sam walked through the door. He heard his father screaming and that could only mean that he was hurting Dean. Quickly, Sam closed the door and followed his father’s angry words to the kitchen.

As soon as he stepped inside the kitchen, he felt nauseous, his brother curled up on the floor and his father being just as aggressive as usual, channeling all his anger into Dean. A kick in Dean’s hands made him howl in pain; not even biting his tongue helped. By that point, tears were streaming down his face and he just couldn’t stop the strangled sounds he was making.

A bit startled with Dean’s scream, Sam decided it was enough - he couldn’t just stand there and do nothing to help his brother.

 “YOU’RE SUCH A GIRL! I SHOULD JUST CALL YA DEANNA! YA CAN’T EVEN HANDLE A LI’LE BIT O’ PAIN!” John was still yelling at his oldest son, when he noticed Sam had arrived. “Oh, hey Sammy!” John greeted happy to see his youngest son home. “Do ya see that? Your ‘sister’ over here can’t even handle a bit of pain!”

It wasn’t necessary to say that Sam was furious. Getting home and seeing his brother in such a state made his heart clench. He was sick of just standing there and not being able to make John stop. He had no idea why John liked him better, but everyone else in that home knew it was true; Dean was a much better son than he was, and while his brother still hoped John would change, he knew that wasn’t going to happen. Doing the best he could to understand the best way to get Dean away from John, Sam looked around the kitchen. The stove was on, but the pan was on the kitchen floor right next to Dean, there were bits of hamburger meat all around the floor and John was looking at Dean with disgust. The same emotion was on the youngest Winchester, directed at his father. How could someone do this to their own son? Just like pieces of a puzzle, Sam connected everything around Dean and he just knew what had happened.

“Dean…?” Sam called, ignoring his father. He was too disgusted to even try to look at him at the moment. Sam was too preoccupied with his brother.

Of course John wouldn’t think that Sam not answering him was a good sign. He was drunk and all that made sense to him was that his son wasn’t showing the respect he should.

“Answer to me when I talk to ya, boy!” John demanded, voice thankfully not reaching a scream. Almost robotic, Sam turned to face his father. His eyes were stone cold; all he wanted to do was grab his brother and run away from that place.

“I’m gonna go make Dean understand that he can’t continue like this… When I get back I’ll cook you dinner.” Sam told his dad, doing his best to choose the right words; words his father would approve of.

John grinned at his son, thinking that Sam would _teach Dean a lesson._

“Make your ‘sister’ see she can’t cry unless I say so, will ya boy?”

Sam made himself smile towards his father, and carefully, through clenched teeth he replied.

“Of course, father.”

John stumbled towards the fridge and grabbed himself a beer.

“Tha’s ma boy.” He said as he started walking towards the living room to sit in his chair and watch TV while waiting for his son to cook him dinner.

As soon as John was out of the kitchen, Sam kneeled on the floor near his brother.

“Dean…” Sam whispered. “What happened? What did he do?”

Dean starts letting his body shift, carefully trying not to think or _feel_ the pain inside of him. Once his eyes flashed open, Sam saw everything; they showed the emotion he was trying to hide, and just how hard Dean was trying to be strong.

“I’m ok…” Dean managed to say, trying to keep Sam from worrying too much. It was a failure from the start.

“Alright…” Sam nodded, trying to keep his own worry from showing. He knew that Dean wouldn’t let him dote on him, and avoid the topic completely whenever it was brought up, prompting Sam to focus on school.

“Let me just help…” Sam reached his hand to Dean’s and as soon as he grabbed them, a muffled sound came from Dean. The sound made Sam look to his hands, trying to understand if he grabbed any place John had been kicking. Instead, he saw Dean’s hands were many shades darker, showing a pure red in them. “Oh God…” Sam whispered as he took Dean’s arm –while trying his best not to hurt him in any place- and threw it over his shoulder. “Let’s take you upstairs…”

Sam was getting taller and taller as days passed by; his body was strong enough for him to help his brother walk up the stairs and deposit him on the toilet seat.

“Let me see!” Sam demanded, full of concern.

Dean shook his head and hid his hands behind him. He didn’t want Sam to be concerned. He wanted to be left alone for a bit, to just cry in silence, and to try to get his hands to stop hurting so much. But Sam was just as stubborn as Dean was.

“Come on Dean! Let me help you!” Sam begged him. The best way to get Dean to agree was obviously by showing him the ‘puppy eyes’ and add a bit of begging, and that’s exactly what Sam did. “Please…”

Dean sighed and nodded, showed Sam his hands.

“Oh my god…” Sam whispered in disbelief, as he saw the red covering Dean’s palms. “Your hands… They’re burnt!”

Dean decided to go with a funny approach to the situation.

“Thanks for clarifying that, Captain Obvious!”

Sam looked at his brother and frowned.

“This is not the time to be sarcastic, Dean! You need to put your hands under cold water… Like, right now!” Without another word, Sam walked to the sink and let the cold water gather up on a metallic pail –that was under the sink- for a bit. He moved fast, not wanting his brother to hurt unnecessarily. “Put your hands inside this…”

Dean didn’t wait for Sam to finish talking, his hands were desperately yelling for him to ease their pain. A sigh of relief came out of him when his hands touched the water.

Sam didn’t know much about burns, all he knew was the basic… Apply cold water… Aloe Vera… ointment…  He remembered once reading in one of his Science books about putting something to cover the burnt areas, it was supposed to protect the area from getting infected. So that was what he decided to do.

“I’m gonna need to patch this up, Dean… I don’t want it getting infected…” Sam told his brother as he left the bathroom and went to grab his first aid kit.

Dean moved his hands against the water and he never felt more relieved for his brother’s presence at the house. He felt everything inside of him hurt… How could he not? John hadn’t been this aggressive in a while- of course Dean wasn’t ready for him to go all crazy on him.  It was one thing just to get Dean’s hands burnt, but kicking the shit out of Dean AND getting Dean’s hands burnt was completely different… The thoughts of leaving the house and never coming back crossed Dean’s mind. After the knife incident, things had been pretty normal, nothing drastic happening around, but the peace wouldn’t last forever… It never had, why would it now?  But Dean wanted to give his father as many chances as it was needed, so he wiped those thoughts away. After what happened that day, Dean wasn’t sure his father could ever change… Everything was so strange, he couldn’t ask anyone what to do, since he didn’t want to involve anyone, but it was still tiresome to think of it alone.

Sam walked into the bathroom once more and saw Dean thinking, his eyes were closed and there was a sad look on his face. His face was pale, almost as white as the walls of the bathroom. Sam didn’t want to disturb his brother as he looked like he was thinking about something important –his face changed from a sad look to a pensive one- and announcing his presence could make Dean lose his train of thought. Sam stood in the bathroom tiles for a few minutes, before he decided to let Dean think for a while. He backed out of the bathroom and got himself to the kitchen to cook something for their father –and themselves too. Sam was worried about his brother… He knew Dean wouldn’t tell him if he was in pain; he knew Dean wouldn’t tell him if John did anything to him while he, Sam, was gone; and all of it only made his concern for his brother increase. What would happen if one day John was too violent to Dean? Dean couldn’t go to the Hospital, John had made it clear he didn’t want anyone knowing what he did; Dean would never go to the Nurse’s office; the only person who knew about what was going on was Charlie, but what could she do? She tried to distract Dean outside of home, which was a blessing. If Dean only thought about all the shit that happened to him he would, most likely, be depressed. She was the best friend Dean could have ever got, and Sam thanked every star in the sky for it. Dean needed her, just as much as he needed Sam. Charlie was someone Sam would usually go to when he needed some extra medical supplies or whatnot. He couldn’t just go to the pharmacy all the time and get stuff, people would ask questions, so he asked Charlie to get very high amounts of everything… And about one in every three months –if things were _normal_ – they would buy more. But if John got too violent, Sam needed more material to help Dean get back to health. The other thing that helped quite a lot was that Charlie never let him pay. Her father owned a company and earned quite a lot of money, which made Charlie somewhat rich –not that she ever told anyone about that- and she helped the boys as much as she could with the money she had. Every time Dean worked at the Roadhouse, she would go there and leave a very generous tip for him… But she would discretely put it in Dean’s apron when he wasn’t looking… He would think it was weird if he noticed.

Sam decided to go and talk to Charlie about what happened the next morning, he didn’t know what else to do, and she could help him…

_Charlie always knows everything… She can help me help Dean…_

With that, Sam finished cooking their dinner. Unlike Dean, he actually knew what he was doing, so things were actually tasty. He walked to their bathroom and saw Dean wincing as he swirled his hands in the water, the pain even more evident in the contours of his skin.

Sam gently closed the door behind him and walked over to his brother with a sigh. _Oh Dean, please let me help you._


	25. Telling the truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I know I haven't posted in a long time, and I feel like I should tell you why. The day I was going to start writing, I got some news about a family member, who unfortunately died. I had to attend the funeral the next day... I just couldn't bring myself to write anything down for two weeks. As soon as I got back to myself, I resumed writing, and I finished the chapter. I sent it to my beta, but I felt that there was something missing there, so I went back to my word document and read the whole chapter again and added some bits to it. Then I sent it back to my Beta, and I have been waiting for her to send it back to me... As you guys kept asking for the chapter I couldn't keep you waiting for the chapter. Those of you who follow me on tumblr might have figured some of these things out before, since I have repeatedly apologized for taking so long with this chapter. I want to tell you guys that I also started writing chapter 26 while waiting for my beta, so it won't take too long to finish it.
> 
> Thank you so much for all of your reviews, thank you so much for those of you who kept sending me messages on tumblr to make me go write -even if I already had the chapter writen-, and thank you to those of you who are still here after such a long wait.
> 
> I changed the ending of last chapter a bit, so please go back there and read -at least the end- it again.
> 
> One more thing, my beta still hasn't sent the chapter back, so please don't judge me by the mistakes you're most likely going to find in here. I hope you like this chapter!

**Chapter 25 – Telling the truth**

The next day, both Winchesters walked to school. Dean was feeling bad. His hands hurt like hell and he wanted to run away. But as usual, school came up first before any other thing –unless it was Sammy or Charlie- he had to do or think about. As they got to the parting way between their schools, Dean continued walking, leaving Sam with a short “See you later” and a small smile.

Sam stood there for a few seconds, watching Dean walk away. What he was about to do was only going to work if Dean didn’t know. Once he saw that his brother was far away, Sam started walking to his brother’s school. He was almost inside, when an arm slung on his shoulders.

“Hey-a Sammy!” Gabriel greeted him, with his usually happy expression, but Sam was too worried to spend time with Gabriel and tried to shove the boy off.

“Sorry, Gabe. I gotta speak to Charlie. Like, right now…” Sam said, walking toward the closed doors of the town’s High School.

Being the intuitive boy he was, something didn’t feel right to Gabriel. Sam wasn’t behaving like usual-he seemed too preoccupied to do anything besides look for Charlie…

“What’s wrong?” Gabe asked, his eyes full of concern. He was starting to panic slightly. He knew John was an abusive father, and he didn’t know what he could do to help Sam and Dean, even if it was just a little bit. It sucked. Sam didn’t know he knew, but he decided that was one of the things that needed to be changed. So Gabriel grabbed Sam’s arm when the younger boy tried to walk away from him again. “Did he do anything?”

Sam’s eyes widened and he stood there, in front of those gaudy green doors, unable to move. _He knows! B-But how does he know? Did Dean tell him? Of course not… Dean was the one who made me promise to never tell anyone! Why would he tell him?_  He felt conflicted. He knew what he had to do-Play dumb, of course. But he didn’t want to be alone with the suffering any longer.

“What?” Sam said innocently, initiating his “play dumb” act. Pretending he didn’t know what Gabriel was talking about-he hadn’t been specific, “he” could mean anybody.

Gabriel decided it wasn’t wise to suddenly say what he needed in front of the whole school, so he pulled Sam’s arm –which he was still holding- and took him to the back garden. Their school had two gardens; A front one where everyone was at any given part of the day; and the neglected back garden. No one –except people who wanted to hide out- went there, so it was perfect to have personal talks in there.

Once they got under a tree, Gabriel pulled Sam into a hug. He could read the panic in the young Winchester’s face.

“I know he hurts you… Dean didn’t tell me anything. I’m just good at noticing things and doing the math later.” At Sam’s questioning face –which rose from Gabriel’s chest-, he decided to elaborate a bit. “Neither of you would let me anywhere near your house, Dean made me promise I would never let Cassie or Balthy go near that place… So it had to be someone from the inside, and –once again, sorry about it– you told me that your mom’s dead, so it couldn’t be her. You live with Dean and your dad, and Dean loves you more than anything else… So there’s just one person left. Your dad, Dean said something like he doesn’t trust anyone, that he would shoot me if I ever tried to break into your house… Dean is afraid of him. So, back to the point. What did he do?”

Sam was speechless. He was afraid of telling Gabriel the truth. He was sick of hiding in the dark when he could have someone to help him. He felt like he could trust Gabe. Their friendship had grown closer and now they were each other’s best friends. His heart decided for him.

“If I tell you anything…” Sam started, unsure if he was going to regret trusting Gabriel. “…you need to promise me you won’t do anything stupid. I mean it. You have to promise!” With that, Sam waited a few seconds, for Gabe’s ‘I promise’ to continue his speech. “First, you need to know that _he_ never laid a finger on me. Dean never let him do anything, and if he did, I’m pretty sure Dean would either kill him or just throw himself in front of me to shield my body from him.”

 Once again, he stopped for a few seconds. Sam was shaking slightly; he took a deep breath and hugged Gabriel tight. He needed support to continuing telling his tale. Gabriel nodded in understanding and waited in silence for Sam to continue speaking; while he heard the younger teen, he started rubbing comforting circles in his back. “Every time _he_ drinks, _he_ feels like he’s in the mood to punish Dean. _He_ feels that Dean isn’t obedient enough, that he is a failure, and that the only way to punish him for it is by hurting Dean; both physically and mentally. It started when Dean got a bad grade at school when he was in elementary school. It was just one of those stupid tests teachers made us do; and this one was just one of those where you gotta color the pictures –Dean sucks at painting-, and when he got home barely passing that test, _he_ hit Dean-but just a little bit. After that it started to become a freaking activity. Everything –and I mean everything- Dean did bothered _him._ It started to get worse when Dean started crying. As soon as it happened, _he_ started getting more and more violent. The first time Dean cried, _dad_ took his belt off and started hitting Dean with it.” Sam had to stop talking for a few seconds. Reliving those moments was difficult, just remembering his brother’s pain over the years made him feel so bad. That wasn’t the worse memory of them all; but it was one of the first times he ever heard his brother howl in pain when he couldn’t do anything to help him. Thankfully, Gabriel was pulling him close, so that Sam could feel that he wasn’t alone, that someone cared. He was sobbing into Gabe’s brown jacket.

“That time I asked Castiel to take Dean to the nurse’s office, _he_ threw a knife at Dean’s arm.” The confession was hard, it made him think about every time he had to stitch his brother up; it made him think that he still couldn’t help Dean, not even after so long. Gabriel could see by the way Sam was shaking that he was emotionally devastated. Tears were falling down Sam’s cheeks and Gabriel didn’t know what to do to make it better. “A-And last n-night…” Sam started hiccupping into Gabe’s shoulder. “…L-L-Last ni-night, h-he th-threw a _hot_ pan towards Dean. H-H-He g-got h-his  h-his hands burnt.” It started to become a bit too much for even Gabriel to take. He felt terrible for Dean, and he didn’t know what to do. Sam was a mess in his arms, he wanted to try his best and help the poor boy calm down, but he had no idea where to start. For once, he wanted to just storm their house, and just kill the bastard himself; but he _promised_ he wouldn’t do anything. “When I got home…” Sam continued, his voice starting to get a bit steady. “…He was kicking Dean. He said that Dean wasn’t strong enough to not howl in pain while getting kicked in the gut. All I wanted to do was to grab Dean and run away. But where would we go? We have nothing… Nowhere to hide from him!”

With that, Gabriel decided it was enough. He couldn’t heat about what happened in that place anymore.

“Sam…” He said, startling Sam a bit. Sam was so focused on the past that he momentarily forgot where he was. “You have me… And you have my house. If you ever need to run away from _him,_ come to me. My house is far too big for the small family we are. And you need a place where you can be safe. I don’t mean just you, take Dean with you. God, make sure you take Dean with you. Don’t you ever leave him alone _there_.”

Of course, those words were not what Sam had expected. He was expecting that Gabriel would just agree and say that they were better off with a roof over their heads and food in their stomachs rather than to leave their house. Listening to Gabriel say that both he and his brother could stay in his place when John became too violent was a bit too much for Sam. He let his arms fall from Gabe’s back, so that he could step away for a few seconds. After seeing that Gabriel’s eyes were shinning with determination he took a step in again and hugged Gabriel close once more.

“Thank you. You have no idea how much those words mean to me. We also have Bobby, but _he_ would find us there… In fact, it happened before.”

Gabriel was a bit taken back by Sam’s hug. He thought Sam would just walk away and pretend he wasn’t crying. But that hug and those warm words made his chest swell with a warm and fuzzy feeling. Gabe returned the embrace, as tight as he could. It didn’t matter that they were in the school gardens. As he felt that fuzzy feeling, he decided it was time. He needed to tell Sam the truth. Carefully, Gabriel pulled away from Sam.

“There’s something I need to tell you.” Sam looked at Gabriel, not really understanding why Gabe pulled away. “Sam…” Gabriel said, making Sam look him in the eyes. “I’m gonna tell you something. I need you to understand that I didn’t have a choice, but I made a choice anyway, ok?” Sam nodded, and so Gabriel took a deep breath. It was time to confess everything. “When I was four years old, Cassie got into an accident. He was in a coma for three weeks and I thought I was never going to see my little brother move from that bed again. Both me and Balthy decided that we couldn’t keep ignoring his requests and we decided to do anything he asked from us.” At Sam’s confused face, Gabriel explained. “We felt that it was our fault he was in a coma. We left him with the nanny while we were playing in the park. If only we had included him…” Gabriel let out a sigh. “But the past is the past, so we decided to change the future. Once he woke up, we were at his every beck and call, and soon we were doing everything for him. He complained for a while, but he kinda got used to it, ya know?” Gabriel smiled slightly upon remembering how Castiel used to pout when they didn’t let him do things for himself. “Anyway, we started doing anything he asked us. We wouldn’t question it, just do it. Around his fifth grade, he started to change. He started to become more and more popular, but his popularity was a bad one, ya know? He started to be mean to people, and when he asked us to hurt someone, we didn’t question him, we simply did as asked. Once he had his mind set on something, he would just do it, or he made us do it. This year, he started paying attention to your brother. He started noticing that Dean was always afraid of people; that Dean flinched whenever people got too close to him… All those little things made him ask me and Balthazar to find out as much as we could about him.” Gabriel stopped and looked to Sam’s face. He could see that Sam understood where this was going. “And now, we” Gabriel pointed his finger to both himself and Sam. “have to talk about the part where I didn’t have a choice.” He saw Sam nodding for him to continue. “At first, when I started following you, I did it because he asked me to. I saw how you would just leave school, go home with Dean or Charlie, or you would go to that garage. I saw that you cared about your brother, and you always looked concerned about him. That first time we talked, when you refused my candy, I decided that you were the strangest person ever. I mean, _who in their right minds refuses candy!?_ And so I decided to ask you myself that. But as soon as I tried to talk to you, you left with Dean. When I got home, Cassie came up to my room and he asked me to find out whatever I could about Dean’s injury. He asked me to befriend you, find out what he wanted and then tell him.” Sam’s eyes showed confusion. His mind was telling him that Gabriel was only using him; seeing that in Sam’s eyes hurt Gabriel. “And this is the part where I made up a choice. For the first time in a long time, I decided to not do as my brother wanted. We have been friends” And he pointed again to both of them. “for a while now, and you can say that I never, ever, asked anything about Dean’s injuries or who did it or whatever Cassie wants to know. Please tell me you understand this.”

Gabriel looked between Sam’s eyes and the floor. He saw that Sam was trying to understand. Sam was giving his very best to keep all the information in his brain while he thought back to every time they had been together.

“Please explain it again… But cut the crappy details, please.” Sam begged. He wanted to make sure he understood everything Gabriel had just told him. Their friendship was too important; he couldn’t have a misunderstanding ruining it all.

Gabriel sighed in relief.

“Cassie asked me to befriend you to dig details into what happened to Dean. But you know that I never asked you anything about where he got that wound; you know that I never asked you why I couldn’t go to your place; and you know that my friendship _is_ real.” Doubt started to make Gabriel worry. He knew he didn’t do anything wrong, but he didn’t know if Sam would see it that way. “Right?”

Sam’s head was spinning. He was sure that the topic of their homes had come up at least once, when Gabriel asked if he could go to Sam’s place, but upon being refused, Sam had been asked to go to the other teen’s house.

“So, let me get this straight. You chose to be my friend, instead of just pretending…” Sam ended up saying. “Why?”

The question took Gabriel by surprise. It was a welcome surprise, as soon as he decided it was time to tell the truth, his mind decided to show him every bad scenario that could happen. He knew he had to tell Sam, but his mind kept going back to those stupid movies where the other person doesn’t understand and simply shouts at them and leaves. He was terrified that would be Sam’s reaction, so having the younger teen speak so calmly was a true relief.

“If you really must know why, it’s because I’m selfish. For a long time I had no friends. People would try to be my friends and throw themselves at me, so that they could be Cassie’s friends. I was _lonely_. I thought that I would never get the chance to get a friend that didn’t want to be his friend. I was _jealous_ that no one wanted my friendship; that they only saw me as a way to get what they really wanted. And when you came into my life, I got an actual friend, a person who could be mine instead of just wanting to use me. When I realized that you didn’t have many friends, I thought that maybe this was supposed to be a special thing between us. I knew that you liked me when I convinced you to eat a lollipop; I figured we could be lonely together… I like our friendship a lot. You’re my best friend, Sam.”

Sam was looking at Gabriel’s eyes, his mouth stood wide open and he was didn’t know what to say. The things that came out of Gabriel’s mouth made him blush. He knew that the other didn’t have many friends, but he had never thought it was actually true. After a while of just looking to Gabriel –making the older teen feel extremely uncomfortable- he replied.

“You’re my best friend too.” The words were just a whisper, but they were there. Those words told Gabriel that he wasn’t imagining when he thought that Sam liked him.

A smiled graced Gabriel’s features and he decided to speak again.

“So you understand?” He asked, a bit afraid of Sam’s answer.

“I just need to know one more thing.” Once Gabriel told him to ‘shoot’, he continued. “Why did he ask you to be my friend? Why not Balthazar?”

Gabriel shrugged.

“I have no idea. Maybe he thought that I could have some fun, while Balthazar tried to befriend Charlie…” That question had lingered on his mind for a while, when he first got friends with Sam. His mind went back to all those times when he thought of it and Castiel would just come around to speak to him. “Every day he would come up to me and ask me if I had found anything out. At some point, I couldn’t take it anymore. That time I asked if we could hang out in your place, was because I didn’t want to go home and have him asking me what you had told me, ya know…”

Sam looked at him. That was the first and the last time he went to Gabriel’s place. He would have gone more times, but he had to go back to his place and study.

“Then why did you ask if I wanted to go to your house?” Sam asked. It didn’t make sense to him. If Gabriel wanted to avoid going there, why would he bring him along?

Gabriel blushed and looked to his feet.

“Because you looked sad when you said we couldn’t go to your home.” He admitted sheepishly. “I don’t like to see you sad.”

Sam smiled with a little embarrassment. He certainly was not expecting Gabriel to say that. He didn’t expect that anyone would ever say that to him –apart from Dean of course.

“Thank you… I guess.” Sam told him, not really knowing what the best answer would be.

“You’re welcome. We’re good, right?” Gabriel asked hesitantly.

Sam laughed. Gabriel was adorable.

“Yup.” He answered simply. Suddenly, he remembered why he went to his brother’s school. “I gotta find Charlie now… I need her help to know what to do to Dean’s hands.”

Gabriel sighed. The worry in the younger Winchester’s eyes had come back.

“I’ll look for her and I’ll get the answer. You get to your school.” Gabriel said patting Sam’s back.

Sam huffed.

“I don’t want to trouble you.” He started.

Gabriel simply argued with him.

“Nonsense. This is what friends are for! You gotta go and have your classes. I’ll tell you what I found out after school!” Sam ended up agreeing with him, reluctantly. “See ya later, Sammy!” Gabriel said, as he ruffled Sam’s shaggy hair, a large smile gracing his features as he watched the little teen run off in the distance. For the first time in what must have been ages, Gabriel felt truly happy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has now been beta-ed. Next chapter should come up soon. Also, check out my one-shot 'Friday Night' ^^ See ya later!


	26. Think

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Beta still hasn't sent it back to me, but I want to let you know what's going to happen... So, I'm sorry for my stupid mistakes, and I will change it when I get it back. This is the longest chapter so far!!! I wrote and published two stories that go by the name 'Aquaphobia' and 'Friday Night', if you want to read them go ahead! I also have chapter 27 written, but I will need to wait until my Beta sends it back... I need an opinion on that one before anyone else reads it.
> 
> One more thing! Last chapter's ending changed a little bit, please read it, before you read this! It didn't change much, but you should read it! ^^
> 
> Please comment with your thoughts!

**Chapter 26 – Think**

Dean walked into the school, he wanted to be alone; Sam had been too worried over him, and all he wanted to do was hide away from everyone. His hands had bands over them and they hurt like a bitch; but Dean endured it. Of course he did, he was so used to dealing with pain that he could live his daily life and pretend to be happy while his whole body hurt. As he passed the green doors of the school building, Dean got into 'prepare to run if necessary' mode. After Castiel claimed him no one dared to mess with him, but old habits are hard to kill, so he would always look before stepping further into the school. His mind would always try to find those familiar faces and try to avoid them, even if there wasn't any real danger anymore.

He grabbed what he needed from his locker and closed his eyes shut as his school material touched his hands.

_Shit. How am I supposed to go to work like this?! I am a mechanic; I can't_ _**not** _ _use my hands while working… I gotta do it anyway…_

Dean sighed and closed his locker. He checked his phone for any messages; once he saw there were none, he realized that it was still early. Without realized it, Dean started to walk around the school without an actual path traced in his mind. It didn't surprise him much that he ended up in the gym. After being there every afternoon, he started feeling that the school gym was a part of him. He felt at ease inside that place. His hands were hurting, even if he wasn't touching anything; Sam gave his best, but he didn't know what he should do to take the pain away. Their painkillers were all gone, and Dean didn't want to spend money on them. They could use the money with something useful, like clothes for Sammy.

All night, his mind kept making him relieve the moment with John. He would remember every detail of what happened, his mind kept reminding him that  _that_ would be his life forever; getting beaten up by his father, while Sam tried to calm him down. When Dean started running, all those weeks ago, he felt that running was sort of a punishment, it was hard and it killed him after; even if he was determined to become better than the rest of the world. But as soon as he started to gain stamina, running started feeling  _good_ , it calmed him down when started to get anxious; and the best part, was that it helped him think about something else. As a force of habit, Dean changed his clothes in the locker room and started running in the gym. He needed to take his mind away from the pain he was feeling, both in his heart and in his hands.

Dean ran as if his life depended on it, and somehow, it did. As he concentrated on running, Dean started to forget about the thoughts that kept hunting him. ' _You're a damn pussy, Deanna!_ ' John said more frequently than not.  _'You're fucking useless.'_  John repeated every day, as if to prevent his son from ever forgetting it.  _'Do something useful! Go clean those dishes, boy!'_  John would yell, even after everything had been cleaned and stored in its shelves. As the words kept resounding in Dean's mind, he fastened his pace. He tried to think of something else, anything to help him forget those words that would kill inside everyday. What filled his mind instead of John's bitter words were the happy moments he shared with Sam at Bobby's place, the times he got to be happy with Charlie, and one of his most precious memories of them all. On the day Sammy was born, John took him to the hospital so that they could visit and see Mary and baby Sammy, once they got inside, Dean was so happy, because for a two year old to see his baby brother in his mother's arms was magical. Mary looked at him and smiled.

"Do you want to hold him?" She asked, as John placed Dean near her on the hospital bed.

Dean was very young, so he simply grinned and nodded. Mary placed the younger Winchester on her son's lap, and Dean was delighted. Having his brother on his arms, while his parents looked at him with smiles plastered on their faces… That was his favorite memory. The first time he had Sammy with him, and time where they were all happy. As he remembered his father's smiled, it hurt him.  _Why can't he be at least a little bit happy now?_  Dean knew that ever since his mother's death, John hadn't been the same. When Mary died, Dean was only four years old, and that left Dean, little Sammy and John alone in the world. John went back to the times where he would drink –he had stopped because of Mary- and he wouldn't care about his sons. Most of the time, he would just leave them with their uncle Bobby or auntie Ellen, while he drowned himself in alcohol. As Dean started to become older, John stopped sending the kids to them, he would just let Dean in charge and make him do everything around the house. The first time he hit Dean and made him cry, had been because an eight year old Dean had broken a jar –Dean felt ashamed that he had smashed his mother's jar, and when John started beating him, he couldn't take the pain he felt inside anymore.

Dean shook his head and started to move faster. He tried to keep the memories away, but it seemed that every happy memory he had, would make him remember all the bad ones he tried so hard to forget. Trying to change his memories to ones he only got after his mother died, Dean found himself remembering the time he went to Charlie's place. He was about thirteen at the time, and he was super happy –it was the first time he actually went to a friend's house ('cause Jo's place doesn't count. He had been there way too many times as a child), everything looked beautiful, and for once, the place seemed more comfortable than Dean's house. That was the first time he realized that a house is not a home. The place where he felt free to be himself was his home, and at that point, he also understood that he didn't have a home, the closest he had to feeling at home was when he was with Charlie, Sam or Bobby. Apart from them, he had nothing. He remembered how Charlie made him sit down with him and made them watch the first Lord of the Rings' movie. He had loved it so much, that Charlie promised she would make him go to her place as often as they could manage to see other movies 'just as awesome as Lord of the freakin' Rings!' and so they did. The memory finally made Dean smile – Charlie had introduced him to so many great movies, but she also made him see every Disney movie because apparently 'You can't keep on living if you haven't seen Tangled!', but of course, before she made them watch Tangled, they had to see 'Beauty and the Beast', 'Cinderella', 'Snow White'… All the classic Disney movies that children see. Dean remembered vaguely watching some of them while he was younger, but he found that watching them again was amazing, he could remember some of the details, but watching it again kind of brought the magic back. The movie Charlie made him watch the most was undoubtedly was High School Musical, and of course the following movies. When she saw that Dean liked the movie, she made sure to give it him when she found a motive for him to accept the movie. She knew that he would never accept it if she just offered it to him, so she gave it to him on Christmas. Dean felt really happy, but also a bit ashamed that he couldn't give her anything in return. Charlie just shrugged it off and made him promise that he would watch the movie as much as he could. Even now, years later he still sat down with Sam –whenever John wasn't around- and watched it together.

Those memories started to make Dean feel better, and as soon as he felt he wasn't going to burst out crying, he stopped running. Once he stopped he didn't feel tired, he only felt relieved that he wasn't in that much pain anymore. He had managed to tire his muscles and calm down. He loved the feeling of his sore muscles, they made him remember just how hard he had worked to feel that way. A smile finally graced his features and he went back to the locker room.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Dean was nervous. He didn't know how he was going to explain to his teachers' why he couldn't write. The previous night, after Sam tried his best to band his hands, he tried to grab a pen and write something. The only problem was that every time he tried to pick the pen, his hand would feel as if it was on fire. Maybe he could lie and say it was an accident… It could happen, right?

As much as he decided to try to fool himself, he knew at least one person wouldn't buy it. Mr. Lafitte was always trying to understand why he was so messed up, what could have possibly have gone wrong… And he knew right away the story wasn't going to stick when it came to him. Dean couldn't tell him the truth, Benny would freak and would probably call social services, so that didn't leave many options, he decided to tell him that something had happened, but he wasn't going to give him any details. It was better that way, he would be left alone and speak at least a bit of truth. Yeah, Dean was pleased with himself for finding a way to  _not_ tell his favorite teacher the truth, but also not lie to him.

As he walked inside Mrs. Mosely classroom, he saw her already inside, preparing that day's lesson. Once he was in front of her desk, he cleared his throat. She finished sorting a few papers and turned her head up to him.

"Yes, Mr. Winchester?" She asked, making him shiver slightly at the nickname he hated so much. It wasn't her fault that the other guys in his school were such dickheads. She simply called him by his name. Dean forced himself to take a deep breath before approaching her.

"Mrs. Mosely, I just wanted to warn you that I am not able to write… Yesterday, I accidentally burnt my hands, and now I can't pick a pen." He hated lying so much, yet here he was telling his teacher a lie because he was too afraid of the consequences of speaking the truth. He waited a few seconds, his eyes were avoiding hers and he couldn't help it. He felt too ashamed not to.

"How did you accidentally burnt your hands, boy?" She asked him, her voice showing the confusion she felt. "Show me your hands." Once Dean showed that he was reluctant on obeying, she spoke again. "Now!"

Dean didn't have any other choice and he knew it. Slowly, he raised his hands and let Mrs. Mosely grab his wrist to turn his palms up. She started taking the compresses off and as soon as she saw the red skin and the small white bubbles on his skin, she stopped. Her mouth was agape and she didn't seem capable of closing it. As soon as she regained the ability to speak, she looked him in the eyes.

"How did you manage to get a second degree burn?! Boy! You gotta tell me!" Her voice reminded him of Bobby, the concern she was showing over this made him think of his uncle, he had been with Bobby every day, but he still managed to miss him every time he was away from him.

Dean didn't know what to say, he was afraid that if he spoke he would tell her the truth, and of course he couldn't have that happened.

Luckily for him, Gabriel walked inside the classroom on that moment. He looked worried and once he saw the concerned look in Mrs. Mosely's face, he looked down to Dean's hands and he flinched.

"Dude, that looks awful." He said carefully. He had found Charlie and spoke to her; well, he found her, listened to her yell at him, and after convincing her that he was capable of having a heart and caring for others, he asked for her wise advice on how to make burns hurt less. "I gotta take him with me, Mrs. Mosely. I'll take care of him, don't worry, and please don't mention this to anyone… I could barely convince him to tell me what happened, he was too ashamed to forget that the oven was still hot when tripped in his kitchen."

Mrs. Mosely didn't have time to say anything else, Gabriel was already pulling him out of the classroom and into the closest bathroom he could find. While he dragged Dean with him, neither of them spoke. The silence was comfortable; it didn't pressure either of them to speaking. It was painfully obvious to Dean that Gabriel  _knew_ , so it didn't matter if he tried to give him a crappy story on how he had burnt his hands.

Once inside the bathroom, Gabriel locked the door and took Dean to the sink and opened the tap. As always, the water was cold –as cold as can be- so he didn't have to wait until it was ready for what Charlie had told him. Carefully, he grabbed Dean's arm and placed it under the faucet. He heard Dean's hiss and he wished he could make it better.

"You gotta stay at least 10 minutes with your hands under the water; it's gonna help clean the burnt area." Dean nodded. He didn't care about anything except relieving the pain, and at the moment that was exactly what the water was doing to him. "After that, I'm gonna clean your hands ok? It's gonna hurt like crazy but I gotta clean them." Another nod from Dean was all the confirmation he needed. "And finally I'm gonna put you a clean compress there, alright?"

Dean stood there, his hands feeling a lot better now that he had a soothing motion touching his hands. It was like a miracle, it didn't exactly take his pain away, but it helped so much. The younger teen felt slightly awkward standing there with Gabriel by his side without actually speaking to him.

"You didn't have to do anything-" Dean started, only to get cut by Gabriel

"Yes I had. What he did to you was awful, and you should never have someone do this to you. Dean, you can't let him control you, you gotta run away and never look back… Sam told me that you have been suffering like this for years, and I can't even begin to imagine your pain, but I do know that you can't be left alone in a time of need like this! You're hurting and you have –what?- three people to take care of you? No! I told you I am on your side, so please, please, let me help you, Dean."

Dean didn't answer, he simply nodded in agreement and focused on the tap water that helped his hands feel better. The minutes passed by too quickly in Dean's mind, he wanted to have the water on his hands forever, but he knew that couldn't happen. The bell had rang, so he was officially late to class. He needed to get back to class soon, he couldn't risk not being there when he needed to understand the new concepts Mrs. Mosely had told them about in the end of their last class. He had mixed feelings over the situation. If he asked the teacher to explain it to him after soon, she would most likely do it, but that meant he would have to delay his whole routine; not that he would be able to actually work on any car later, but he would still go to Bobby's repair shop after the practice. That was another thing that he needed to think about –how was he gonna learn how to fight with his hands like that? He knew it was gonna happen, but he owed it to himself to show up anyway.

His mind was divided in all those topics, so he didn't notice that Gabriel closed the tap, took a plastic bag, and started to roll it around Dean's left hand. He only noticed it once he started to pull the plastic bag off of his hand, because  _Shit!_  it hurt like hell! He hissed in pain, but did his best not to show many of his emotions.

"I'm sorry, it must hurt like crazy, but I gotta do this. Sam didn't do it yesterday, so I gotta do it now. It's supposed to keep from getting it infected, ya know?" Dean shook his head, anything was better than concentrating on the plastic that  _slowly_  rubbed against his sensitive skin.

"You gotta do what you gotta do." Dean said, his voice hissing every word, making him suck in a breath, trying to concentrate on not showing too much of his pain. To show any at all was very surprising for him. Usually he only showed his pain to those whom he trusted, therefore Sammy, Charlie and Bobby –so he must have started trusting Gabriel more than he knew himself. He wasn't expecting it to happen, not now or ever, he simply didn't think that he would ever trust those people in school that saw him suffering but did nothing to help him. Showing any pain in front of Gabriel was like giving him access to a part of him that almost no one knew about, he was almost trusting Gabriel with his own life.

Gabriel chuckled lightly, he knew it was a huge deal to have Dean trusting him this much. He would have never figured out by himself that John was that bad to Dean, but now that he knew, he couldn't bring himself to even think about trying to forget it. All those times he had seen Dean getting hit on school grounds and he did nothing to stop it; all those times when he saw someone making Dean trip and he simply cheered the guy who had done it… Gabriel was ashamed for supporting such childish attitudes on someone as good as Dean. He was now trying to compensate for all the times he could have done something to avoid having Dean suffering more than he ever should.

"I would rather you didn't need me to do this at all. But this is what friends are for! In the bad times, you need someone to help you get through the day, and I'm gonna be with you all day! You can't get rid of me so don't even think about it, ya hear me?" Gabriel only gave him time to nod before grabbing the compress to wrap it around Dean's left hand. After Dean's hand had been wrapped in the compress, he reached behind him to grab another –clean- plastic bag, so that he could clean Dean's right hand. "Good. I want you to know that whatever happens, I'm your friend, and I want to help in any way that I can."

Dean smiled for a few seconds, before hissing in pain one more time.

"Thank you Gabe." Those words were hard to be told, he didn't want to have more people involved, but if Sam had trusted him, he expected that Sam had set some rules. "You can't do anything to stop it." Gabriel's head tilted slightly and he decided to explain a bit further. "You can't go inside that place and just knock some sense into him. And you promised you wouldn't bring anyone to that place…. That includes you." Dean said, making his last words sound like a warning, despite flinching slightly with the pain he was feeling.

"Alright. I already promised Sam I wouldn't do anything stupid, so I'm not gonna get myself killed. I like to think that I'm more useful alive, ya know?" Despite joking about it, Gabriel meant it, he wasn't gonna do anything stupid, Sam and Dean needed him with them; they needed a friend that could protect them and help them anytime they needed. It was his mind that was in control, but if he let his heart rule, things would be  _so_  different… For once, he would simply go after John, oh how he would torture the bastard! But unfortunately, that simply couldn't happen.

"Alright…" Dean stopped talking, if he continued talking, his voice would show all the pain he was feeling, despite doing his best to being gentle, Gabriel was still hurting him while cleaning his hand. Though he trusted Gabriel, he didn't want to show too much of himself just yet.

They remained in silence while Gabriel finished cleaning Dean's hand. Once he was done with the task, he rolled a compress around Dean's right hand. At that moment, Dean felt a bit relieved, his hands didn't hurt as much as before, and now he was actually sure this would help… Charlie ought to know a bit about everything, she was constantly trying to learn more stuff that could be helpful in all kinds of situations!

"Thank you." Dean said once more. He felt that he couldn't express his gratitude enough, it was just not what he was expecting from anyone. It wasn't in his nature to trust strangers, and now, all he could do was say 'Thank you' and wait for the moment to retribution their favor.

Gabriel grinned. He felt proud of what he had just done, Dean looked like a kicked puppy, who was trying to show he was grateful for the help that was offered, but he was still afraid of being kicked once more. It was both cute and sad; to see such fear of getting hurt once more, but deciding to trust in someone. Gabriel decided that he wasn't just gonna help them because of Sam's pained expression… He was gonna do it because it was the right thing to do… No one should live in fear as those two had lived their whole life.

"No need to thank me!" He replied with a smile. "I'm glad I could help!"

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Getting through the first two classes was hard, he didn't mean to look so bad, but he just couldn't grab the damn thing! His third class, was Mr. Lafitte's class, so he got there as soon as he could, he wanted to speak with the teacher before class started.

"Hey… Mr. Lafitte…" Dean was unsure on how to tell him. He couldn't avoid it for much more… Even if he hadn't class with him he would have to tell him before practice, it was better to just get it over with! "I can't hold a… hmm… a pen."

Mr. Lafitte frowned as he looked at Dean's eyes.

"What do ya mean?" He looked concerned; Dean could hear it in his voice…His eyes started to shift from the student's eyes to the hands. "You gotta tell me what's wrong, buddy…"

Dean hated lying to him so much. After all Benny had done for him, it hurt to even think of trying to lie to him. But telling the truth simply wasn't an option.

" _Something_  happened to my hands, so I can't do anything with them." He felt ashamed of his attitude; he couldn't even face Benny, his teacher… his friend! But how could he tell the truth without having his teacher go on a killer spree?! He had absolutely no idea… "I can't tell you what happened, but I can't do it, alright?" He felt so  _weak_ he was  _disgusted_ with himself. He didn't know how he could be like that… His eyes felt watery but he wouldn't give in. He would be stronger than crying just before class.

"Dean… Buddy, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's going on. I want to help you, ya know that. But I gotta have your collaboration to have this working. Common Dean! Let me help you!" Mr. Lafitte kept insisting, but that only made Dean tremble. He knew facing him would be hard, Dean wasn't ready to have so many questions in his way. The other teachers would just shrug and ask if he was ok, but Mr. Lafitte knew that the other kids bullied him, so of course he would be concerned about his well-being.

"I'm gonna get better real soon, and I'm gonna get back into our training, but right now, I can't do this, man… All I can say is that it wasn't anyone from here… You gotta believe me. Please don't make me say it. I can't do it, man." Dean was almost crying. He felt his whole body trembling, he couldn't do it. He couldn't say Mr. Lafitte anything, and feeling like he was disappointing his teacher for not telling him wasn't making him any good. He felt terrible, but what other options were there?! None! At least in his mind there weren't any other options.

Benny didn't know what to do. He could see Dean would break and he didn't want to get him teased just before class. But, damn it! Why couldn't he just tell him who did it? Seeing his buddy like that was so awful, all he wanted to do right now was tell the other students they were dismissed and try to get Dean to open up to him and tell him what was wrong, but he needed to give this class, they would have a test next morning and he was supposed to help them with last minute questions. Damn it! These things only happened when he really needed to do something else.

"It's ok, Dean." He ended up saying. He felt that he needed to get Dean to calm down. "You can make your test today after school instead of tomorrow. I'm gonna ask you questions and you just need to answer them, ok?" Dean didn't like this, he wanted to be normal, just like everyone else. But of course that wasn't Dean Winchester's reality… Of course not. His reality had to be one in which he got hurt by his father and that made him lie through all his teeth to all his friends –not that he had that many- because telling the truth simply wasn't an option. His eyes refused to look at his teacher and he didn't even move from where he was. "Hey… kid." Benny's hand grabbed Dean's shoulder, trying to make Dean face him. "It's ok… I don't mind, and you would be with me anyway… You don't have to come to class tomorrow while they're doing the test. Dean, I need you to tell me when you have a problem… I won't pressure you, but remember that I'm your friend and that I want to help you! Please let me do so!"

Dean shook his head. He couldn't tell him. It wasn't a possibility.

"Sorry, Benny… I just can't. I don't think I'll ever be able to tell you… And please don't make me tell you. You're better off not knowing…" Dean looked at floor. "You're better off not knowing." He repeated, this time his voice sounded stronger.  _I can't get Benny hurt…_  The resolution was what made him decide what he was absolutely  _not_ gonna say.

Benny frowned.

"Why am I better off not knowing?" Once he saw Dean's fierce glance, he knew it was a lost cause. He had seen that look on the kid, he knew he wasn't about to give in. It was better to give up, but still let him know he would still be there for him. "Alright. I won't keep asking, but lemme tell ya, if you ever feel like you want to talk about it, I'm always here… I won't go away if you tell me. I just want to help you, Dean. And I'll wait until you're ready."

That calmed Dean down a bit, but he still didn't feel like himself. The hate he had over himself didn't go away, it was there buried as deep as ever.

"Thanks." Dean said, turning away from the teacher. "I'll do the test today." He agreed as he walked towards his seat.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Lunch had been hell. People wouldn't pick on him, but he couldn't eat by himself. Grabbing a fork and a knife suddenly was the hardest thing he had ever done. If it wasn't bad enough that people were looking at his hands and whispering, Gabriel decided he wouldn't let him starve just because he couldn't grab the cutlery. Of course he just had to feed Dean himself. And of course that made people's whispers even more intense; they even started pointing at him.

At some point during lunch, Castiel decided to go and see why people were whispering so much. It wasn't common to have that happen, and when it did, usually his brothers informed him of what was happening, but neither Balthazar nor Gabriel had come to him, I mean, Balthazar had come but not with useful information, all he had was that it was about Dean. That made Castiel curious enough and made him walk towards his brother and Dean's table.

"Good afternoon." Castiel said as he sank down on a chair next to Gabriel.

Dean and Gabriel shared a glance and a very subtle shake from Dean's head made Gabriel nod shortly after.

"What's going on?" Castiel asked annoyed. He didn't like not knowing what was happening in the school. People usually came up to him and tried to force themselves –but not too much!- into Castiel's way, but today, nothing. Not even one person tried to talk to him.

"Oh, nothing much bro…" Gabriel said, as he force-feed Dean once more. Reluctantly, Dean let him; Gabriel had already paid his lunch, he wasn't going to let that food go to waste! "Just making sure, Dean-o over here eats his lunch!"

Castiel nodded, but he still didn't understand. Why was he making sure Dean ate? Why did he even care?

"I can make sure he eats, Gabriel… Leave so I can talk to him alone." Castiel's voice was one of command. Gabriel knew it well enough to simply obey when that voice came around. "Thank you." And so, Gabriel left Dean alone –in their table- with Castiel. "Why was he feeding you?"

Dean gulped. The question was exactly what he didn't want to answer.

"Something happened and I can't use my hands." He said carefully, his voice sounded calm; all those hours of getting his confidence boosted had worked, he could speak normally with people now. Even if his mind was screaming for him to run in the opposite direction.

Castiel looked at Dean's hands. Once he saw the compresses around them, he simply nodded.

"I'm still waiting for a name you know?" Dean knew. Every day he tried forget just how close Cas was to finding out what was wrong with him, so of course he remembered that Cas was still trying to find out the truth. Couldn't he just take a no for an answer!?

"Sorry, but I won't talk." Dean told him, a small smile in his lips. His eyes glanced at his plate, to where his food rested. He was hungry, but with Gabe gone how was he supposed to eat?

"I'm not dumb, Dean. I can figure out that it was the same person from before. If you'd just give me a name…" Suddenly, Castiel noticed how Dean's eyes lingered on the plate and he realized that Dean wanted to eat more. Without only a sigh, he moved from his chair to the vacant chair Gabe left between them; Cas grabbed a fork and placed some of the rice in it. As soon as he had joined a bit of chicken, he waited for Dean to open his mouth.

Dean didn't expect Cas to do that. Why would he expect that? Castiel was the Almighty King of their school! Getting fed by the King was most likely against the rules that damned book had. But then again, maybe no one ever thought that would happen. Ever. Slowly, he opened his mouth and let himself be fed by Castiel.

"Thanks." Dean said between a few munches.

Castiel looked at his eyes for a few seconds. He could see that Dean didn't trust him yet… He was only doing what he needed in order to eat. It was as if Dean thought Castiel was going to stab him as soon as he looked away… And that made Castiel sigh once more.

"You think I'm Wickham…" He started slowly, making sure Dean heard everything he said. "But I'm actually a lot more like Darcy."

Dean frowned.  _What the hell is he talking about?!_

"What?" Dean must have heard wrong… Castiel wasn't making any sense!

Castiel fed him a few more times before repeating what he said.

"I'm a not like Wickham… I am much more similar to Mr. Darcy… But then again, how would you know that?"

Dean decided to ignore that comment. Castiel sounded sincere, but he had no idea of what he was talking about. Darcy's name didn't sound foreign, but Wickham?! He had never heard of him!  _Note to self: Ask Charlie what the hell a Wickham is._

Lunch kept on going without either of them talking. It was just Dean opening his mouth for Cas to feed him, and nothing else.

Once he was finished, he thanked Castiel once more and fled from the cafeteria.

He took his phone from his pocket and started dialing Charlie's number.  _Pick up. Pick up. Pick up. Pick up. Pick up._

"Dean!" Charlie said as a greeting. "How are you? How are your hands?" She sounded concerned, but Dean wanted to know what Cas was talking about. It confused him not to know.

"I'm better, thanks for giving Gabe some tips. I gotta ask you something, where are you?"

Charlie walked out of the library as Dean reached its door. Dean ended the phone call as Charlie started asking questions.

"Hey Dean! What do you need?" She asked, a worried look in her eyes.

Dean sighed. Now that he finally had her in front of him, he did the only thing he knew would make him feel better. He pulled her into a hug, making sure to hug her tight, but not to hurt his hands in the process.

"I just needed you and your oh so wise knowledge." Dean said.

Charlie rolled her eyes.

"I know I'm a genius, but you gotta ask what you want to know." Dean could hear the smile in her voice, without needing to actually look at her.

"What the hell is a Wickham?" He asked, unable to ask it any other way.

Charlie pulled away from him and looked at Dean's eyes confused.

"What?"

"Wickham. What is it?" He was so lost, trying to understand what Castiel had said, that he didn't know if he had actually said things right the first time.

Charlie looked at his eyes and huffed.

"He's just the biggest douche ever. Why?"

"And what who's Mr. Darcy?" Dean was sure he had heard the name before, but he didn't remember anything from it.

"Oh. He's just every girl's fantasy!" Upon Dean's raised eyebrows, she added "Even mine… He's just so perfect!" The question crossed her mind once more. "Why do you want to know?"

_So he's every girl's fantasy?! What the hell?!_

"Dean!" She said, while hitting him. After looking at Dean's face for two minutes, without him answering her concerned her a bit.

"What?" He said, his eyes focusing on her.

"Why do you want to know about  _Pride and Prejudice_?"

Dean looked at her.  _Pride and Prejudice!_  So that was where it was from! He had never actually read the book or even watched the movie, but now… Now he felt like he needed to.

"Do you have the book?" He asked her, even though it was obvious she had.

"Duh. Of course I have it, you dumbass!"

Dean nodded in acknowledgement.

"Cas mentioned something like 'You think I'm Wickham, but I'm actually Mr. Darcy'… I just wanted to know what he meant by it."

Charlie locked her eyes with his.

"I can't just explain you how much I don't see that happening, but you gotta read the book to understand it. Maybe there's more to Castiel than we know of." She said, trying to make Dean see that she didn't see the possibility happening.

"I guess I have a book to read tonight!"


	27. Mr. Darcy

**Chapter 27 – Mr. Darcy**

Dean rose from his seat and left Castiel alone at their table. Despite being curious as to why Dean suddenly left, Castiel made himself stay in his seat; if Dean left all of a sudden, following him would make him suspicious, and Cas didn't want that.

A bit frustrated for not being able to follow Dean, Castiel stayed in his chair for a while longer.

_Why did he walk away? I was only helping him... Sure, he stayed until the end, but why did he left after it was done?_

Not really wanting to admit he was a bit hurt by Dean's actions, Castiel didn't notice when Gordon walked up to the table.

"Hey, Castiel!" Gordon greeted as he sat down in front of Cas. "Mind if I sit here?"

Cas was shocked that anyone would approach him all of a sudden. Did people suddenly lose their respect for him? He couldn't have that happening…

"Get the hell away from  **my**  table!" He yelled at the teen in front of him. He wasn't thinking clearly, and having someone there would only distract him. He didn't have patience to listen to other people rant about their usual lives and how Castiel was so much better than them. It annoyed him to no end when others started doing so. He already knew he was better than them; he didn't need them to remind him, just because they wanted to be in a good place at the school hierarchy.

Gordon walked away as soon as Castiel spoke. He didn't want to risk being on Cas's bad side, he was a bit afraid of being in that position; he liked quite much how things were in his life right now.

Castiel sighed once he was left alone once again. His mind started to go back to his and Dean's conversation and he smirked. Dean had no idea what  _Pride and Prejudice_  was. That made him curious… What was he going to do with Castiel's information? Shove it away? Pretend he hadn't listened? Castiel had no idea. After a while, Cas got tired of sitting there, and decided to go home early. He didn't have classes that afternoon since his math teacher had gone home with a fever… He was free for that afternoon.

Before walking out of school, Cas went to the bathroom to check his face on the mirror. He smirked once he remembered some other conversation about  _Pride and Prejudice_ , inside a bathroom.

_**A month earlier** _

Castiel walked around school, no place in his mind until he saw Anna. She was talking to her girlfriend before she smiled and walked away. Ever since they stopped talking, Cas had wondered how Anna had been. His feet decided for him and he started following Anna. They ended up inside a bathroom, and once Anna noticed he was behind her, she turned to him, annoyed.

"What do you want,  _Cassie_?"

Castiel rolled his eyes and huffed. Anna always used that name when she was annoyed with him, and of course, after not talking for so long she held a grudge against him or something… Perfect! Annoyed!Anna was always something fun to watch!

"Hey Castiel! How are you?" Cas said in a girly voice, copying Anna's tone. "Good! Thanks for asking! How are you, Anna?" He continued, this time in his own tone of voice. "I've been good too, you know! I have a girlfriend!" He paused and looked at her; she was standing in front of his, her cheeks tainted red from embarrassment and he decided it was enough, Anna always knew how to get revenge if he went too far.

Anna looked at him, and for a few seconds, she could still see her friend. Until their sixth year, Castiel and Anna had been best friends, they were always together and used to tell each other all their secrets, but at some point it all stopped. Anna always wondered what happened to her 'little Cassie'.

"Why did you have to change so much?" She asked all of a sudden. She missed the sweet Castiel that used to hang out with her; the sweet boy who always complained when his brothers wouldn't let him do anything by himself… And the question was asked without her even noticing.

Castiel was a bit taken aback with her question. He never realized that Anna missed having him around, but he simply couldn't do it… It wasn't possible.

"What makes you think I changed so much?" He asked her, curious to know what she thought of the situation.

Anna tilted her head and focused her eyes on Cas's.

"You're not the same… You're cruel, evil, mean… I don't know this person in front of me… You're all I despise Castiel." She said, her voice tainted with cruelty. She didn't even restrain herself from not saying what she thought. She knew Castiel liked honesty and she always told him whatever she thought about the situation.

Castiel smiled widely. He was proud of himself, if Anna thought that bad of him, of course he was the King of school!

"Why the fuck, Castiel?! Why are you smiling?" Anna was outraged with Castiel's attitude. She was shocked of his reaction and above that, why was he so please with himself?

"Oh Anna… There are thing I did that I'm not proud of… But this, you were fooled by Darcy's pride!" Castiel said as he laughed at his own joke. He felt amazing on how he got those words out.

Anna didn't know what to think… What did Castiel meant with that? Ever since… Well, ever! Castiel and Anna had read the same books and shared their opinions over them, it just happened that  _Pride and Prejudice_  was their book. They knew most of it by heart and the characters were too deep in their skin that they felt their emotions. Listening to Castiel say something like that… Of course it made Anna question both herself and what she knew about everything.

"What did you do?" It wasn't that hard to figure out why that was her first question. Anyone who had read the book knew how amazing and perfect Mr. Darcy was… But those who only read the first bits were fooled by Darcy's pride and liked Wickham better. Anna was sure she would never judge someone based on their attitude, yet there she was…

"My Anna… Do you really want to know? It might not please you…" Despite his mocking words, Castiel was afraid of telling her the truth. He was afraid of her reaction and the way the truth was going to impact the rest of his life… But the glare he received from Anna made him continue. "Alright… If you're sure you want to know…" Castiel paused and took in a sharp intake of oxygen into his lungs. "I'm sure you remember how close we were, how we used to do everything together… But I'm also sure you have no idea about what I'm going to tell you." With that, Castiel looked into the mirror to stare at his own reflection, trying to think about his past and getting lost in it for a few moments. "Half-way through our sixth grade something happened. It was something really big, so that's why we are not friends anymore." Anna looked at him annoyed, why didn't he skipped the boring details and just head up to the plot? Castiel simply ignored her and continued his tale. "Well, it happened that I overheard a conversation between Alastair and Azazel. They were pretty much annoyed because Crowley managed to convince his girlfriend into having sex with him, while they were still virgins. Now you might think that they would just screw each other and call it a night, but they had other plans." Castiel closed his eyes, as if it helped him think about that day better. "Alastair told Azazel that there were some pretty girls around school. So far so good, right?" Anna nodded, not really understanding Castiel's point. "Well, at that point I had decided I should just walk away from them, but they said they wanted to force a girl into having sex with them… At least those were their words, if it had been me, I would have said 'rape' it's kind of the same thing… Anyway, they were saying they wanted to fuck some girl and leave her to root. I wanted to run away from them and simply forget people as cruel as them exist but when they said the name of the girl they wanted, I just lost it."

Anna didn't know what to think… So apparently, Alastair and Azazel wanted to rape some girl and that made Castiel turn into the biggest douchebag ever?! In which world did that make sense?! None!

"Who did they want to rape?" She was afraid of knowing. It could be anyone, but it could also be someone she knew.

Castiel opened his eyes once more and sighed. His blue eyes searched for Anna's and rested on her face.

"They were going to rape you." The sentence came out as a shock, Anna was sure she heard it wrong, but she was afraid that she would have to listen to Castiel say it again. "At that point, I was too scared to do anything to them. I ran away from them and decided to become worse than them. If people were afraid of me, then I would set the rules and you'd be just fine. If I ever found out they tried anything on you I would kill them…" Castiel's voice was a bit emotional, but nothing exaggerated, it showed that even after such a long time, he dreaded the memory and wanted nothing more than to forget it. But that wasn't possible… He had come this far, he wasn't gonna back out now. "As soon as I got the badass title, I decided I could start making the rules, and you should be honored, Anna… My first rule was that you're mine… And you know what comes with that rule?" Anna shook her head; she knew it, but she wanted Cas to tell her anyway… "I proclaimed you as  _my toy_  so that everyone knew they couldn't just go and play with you."

Anna felt mixed emotions passing through her, the idea that she could have been raped still fixed in her mind… She just couldn't let it go and she didn't think she would ever be able to… The other thing present in her mind was that Castiel  _saved her_. Just like Mr. Darcy would, he did everything in the dead of night and in the morning let the light shine without people knowing it was still there because of him… That moment made everything harder, she had hated him for so long that now she didn't know what to feel. When they stopped being together, she felt betrayed, she felt as if Castiel had used her… And now that she knew the truth, she was ashamed of what she felt back then. How could she ever be able to not think about what Cas did for her, without feeling ashamed? Her reaction to Castiel's words came with a soft cry from Anna. There was so much to process; her guilty heart was the worst thing. All she could do was to start crying.

_I was so stupid. How could I ever think that Castiel could become like that without an actual reason?_

"Cassie…" She called, stumbling towards Cas. "I'm sorry." And with those words she hugged him tight. She buried her face in Castiel's chest, crying softly into his t-shirt. Castiel stayed there and hugged her back. It had been so long since they had been this close… He couldn't forget the last time Anna had cried against his chest; it was when she realized she also liked girls, and told her mother… One might say that Mrs. Milton wasn't very happy to hear her daughter was queer, she didn't even think that Anna liked both boys and girls, the only thing Anna's mother heard was that her daughter liked girls. Castiel had been the one to calm Anna down and let her know that it was okay to like girls too… If Anna ever got herself a girlfriend had been because of Castiel's soft words back in their fifth grade. Carefully, Castiel caressed Anna's hair, letting her know he was still there, trying to comfort her. The action only made her feel even guiltier. How could she not? Thinking her best friend was a nutjob and hating him for years, when he was only trying to protect her, and yet there he was comforting her when she realized she had been wrong about him all along.

"It's okay…" Castiel whispered into her ear. It felt nice to be so close to Anna again. He missed her, she had always been a big part of his life, giving him the best advice and making him see that his green pants simply didn't go well with that stupid orange shirt Gabriel got him for his tenth birthday…

"No it's not…" She said as she gained control of herself. How could she ever repay Castiel for all he had done for her? It was because of him that she had the perfect first time with Charlie… She owed Castiel for letting her have a thing so perfect, while he suffered alone. All she could think of was the last time she had an argument with Castiel -in which she was wrong- and how that ended… She had decided she needed to repay him for being such a bitch… So she –for the first time in her life- gave him a blowjob. Despite being with Charlie and feeling that the other girl was absolutely perfect, Anna couldn't help herself once she got into her knees and pulled Cas's pants and boxers down. Cas hadn't had enough time to understand what she was doing until he felt a mouth around his dick.

For the second time in her life, Anna gave a guy a blowjob, and it happened to be the same person she had given it the first time… She was so focused on trying to make Castiel forget how she had hated him; but most of all, trying to make herself forget it too.

Anna started by sucking on Cas's cock, trying to pleasure him as much as she could. After a few seconds of sucking, she started licking Cas's length.  _I think I'm doing a pretty good job! Even after so much time, you still got it in you! Nice job, Anna!_ Anna thought to herself. All the while, Castiel was thinking too… Just not the same as Anna.  _Nope… I'm not feeling it. You call this a blowjob? Just by looking at Dean gets me harder than you Anna… You should go back to your girlfriend, maybe you'll be more successful in that field…_

She was so busy with the task in her mouth that she didn't even notice when Charlie opened the bathroom door and saw them there: Castiel's cock in her girlfriends' mouth, fucking her mouth, and Anna not minding it at all… The sight broke her apart. She always thought Anna and her actually liked each other and that they would never betray the other, but the sight in front of her told her she had been wrong…

"Anna… You gotta stop…" Castiel told her, while pushing her face away from his member. "You don't need to do this just to try and make it all better… I regret that I let you do it that first time… Your friendship is enough for me."

Anna is a bit shocked to say the least. She wasn't expecting Castiel to react like that at all. A deep blush covered her cheeks as she realized that it sounded a bit stupid to simply go suck her best friend's dick after feeling like she was the worse friend in all humankind.

"Sorry." She said sheepishly.

Castiel smiled affectionately at her.

"It's ok… It's good to know you still care that much about me."

_**Back to the Present** _

The memory was good, it was the time when he and Anna started to become a bit close once again, the only difference was that Anna and him only saw each other after school, not letting his image lower at school… He still needed the respect, he managed to get Dean to be known as his toy, but as soon as people knew he wasn't what they thought of him he would lose everything… No one could know he had a soft heart. In the end, that was his problem… He cared too much. He hated that Dean had affected him so much. Why couldn't he simply stop caring about that boy? Why did he really need to know?

The answer to all his questions was the same as usual: He just needed to know. Once he found there was something off with someone his instincts kicked in and made him try to find out what was the problem to solve it. He didn't care which means he had to use to get to the end he wanted… All he wanted was to fix the problem. One could say started to abuse of his power –as the King of school- to get what he wanted… Which was the power to protect those he found that interested him. The problem was that he started to become addicted to power, and a few years after it, he started to become feared by people, because he actually hurt them. What made him change back to his protective self was Dean. He had Dean to thank for becoming himself once again, but he could only do it if he managed to save Dean of his problems… Whoever was hurting him was going to pay. He didn't care if he had to kill the person; he just wanted to protect the other boy.

Castiel shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts as he walked out of school, he decided not to go home just yet… He was sick of looking the same, if his personality changed back to how it was before; he wanted his exterior to look different too.

He walked around town, until he found what he wanted… He walked inside the shop and waited for the employee to attend him. It's not like there were other people in the saloon, but she was absorbed with some papers, and it looked rude to interrupt her. It didn't take her long to notice him there and she greeted him happily.

"Hello, sir. Do you want to cut your hair?" The young woman, probably in her early twenties, asked him gently, from across the counter.

Castiel smiled politely at her.

"Please don't call me 'sir'… My name is Castiel." He told her politely. "And no… I don't think so… I'm here to do something else to my hair…" His eyes travelled across the shop to the posters with both men and women with their hair painted. He pondered for a few seconds and decided what he wanted. "I want to dye my hair."

Madison, at least that was the name on her tag, nodded.

"Alright, Castiel… Do you know which color you want to use?" She asked softly.

Castiel nodded.

"Yes… But I'm not sure if I won't want a haircut after all… What do you think? Should I cut and dye it? Or just dye it?" He seriously didn't know. He usually liked when people walked around with dyed hair, but he wasn't sure if he should cut it too.

Madison smiled softly. Clients usually had their minds set, so she couldn't say anything to them. Once, a woman walked inside her shop and told her to go crazy and do whatever she thought would look good on her… About two weeks later, the woman's husband died and she couldn't even think about dyeing her hair… She simply went there to cut the hair now. She still felt she wasn't ready to do it again. Now having a young boy ask for her opinion, it made her very happy. She took a moment to think what would look nice on him and started ranting about her thoughts.

"Hmmm… Maybe Ten's hair would look nice on you… What color do you want to paint it?"

"Red." The answer was strong, and Madison nodded approving his choice.

"You want to go Charlieissocoollike? Or do you want just the ends?" Once Castiel tilted his head, she blushed a bit before explaining herself. "Charlieissocoollike is a YouTuber who painted his whole hair red…"

Castiel thought for a few seconds… He had an idea, but he wasn't sure Madison could do it.

"Do you have a piece of paper?" Castiel had his school stuff in his bag, but he didn't want to ruin his notebooks with his drabbles. He took a pencil-case from its case and waited for Madison to give a piece of paper.

It didn't take him long to draw himself –it was a chibi version of himself-; he was used to doing so, the only difference was that he needed to change his hairstyle this time… He tried a few times, and Madison kept hovering over him. There was no one else inside the shop apart from them and it seemed that this was the best time to get a haircut, no people waiting for their time… They could take as long as they found necessary to find the perfect hairstyle.

"No… I think it would be better like this…" Madison said as she grabbed Cas's case and took a rubber to erase a bit of Castiel's portrait. She then took Cas's pencil-case and drew what she had suggested. It took them around fifteen minutes, erasing and re-drawing the actual thing, before they were happy with it. After finding the  _perfect hairstyle_ , Castiel took his colored pencils and started painting bits of the drawing, showing it to Madison before continuing. "Wait! I have an idea!" Madison said as she dug into Cas's other case taking another colored pencil. She started painting the place above where Castiel had painted and looked at him, searching for his reaction. "What do you think?"

Castiel looked at the piece of art in front of him. He liked the way his hair was in it, and especially the colors they chose. The tones were gorgeous, and he hopped he could get his hair done soon.

"I like it, Madison." Castiel said, using the girl's name for the first time.

She beamed and started digging through her dyeing paints, to find the perfect colors.

"You can call me Maddie. You're such a sweetheart," Madison told him. Castiel was a pleasant fellow, and he seemed to a kind person. He gave his opinion to her suggestions and wasn't rude about it. He simply shrugged and gave the 'I don't know if that's a good idea' look, trying not to hurt her feelings, since she was giving her best to help him out.

Cas nodded.

"Alright… I like it, Maddie."

After a few minutes, she had the colors ready, and all that was needed was to get Cas the so desired haircut. She took out her favorite scissor and started cutting bits of Cas's hair.

"You know… The way we're gonna put your hair reminds me both of Arthur's and Merlin's hair…" Once again, Castiel tilted his head. He knew the series, Balthazar loved it and had been heart broken when he found out there wouldn't be a  _next season_. But Castiel had never watched it. "Arthur has blond hair that looked a bit like your haircut before, and Merlin has a beautiful raven colored hair, a bit shorter than how yours is gonna be… You're kinda in between those two, but the sides are gonna be Merlin's and the rest is a bit shorter than Arthur's…" Maddie explained. Castiel nodded, he liked the feeling of looking similar to those characters, but still not exactly like them…

It didn't take too long for Maddie to get his hair just like they had imagined. Soon Maddie started preparing the colors and the necessary equipment to dye Cas's hair.

"You sure you want to do this?" She was a bit unsure, since Castiel looked a bit young, but if he wanted to do it, he could always do it at home… She preferred to do it herself and do it properly, instead of having him get a crappy paint in his head that would mess everything up.

"Yes." Castiel replied firmly. "Do it."

And so Maddie started. She grabbed the first bottle that had the first color she would use. She started with the sides of Castiel's head, since he wanted the back to look the same. As soon as Cas's locks were filled with red, she moved to the center of Castiel's head and got his bangs to start dyeing with the other color; the one she had suggested. The brush got the color and she started coating the black locks of Castiel's hair with a mix between turquoise and light blue. The front bangs were the ones that took most time to get done, they had decided to alternate between red and the mix of the other two colors, to make it as different as possible without it looking too strange. The drawing looked amazing, and Castiel hoped that he could get to look just as amazing as it was supposed to be.

During the whole thing, Castiel had his eyes closed. Not because he was scared of looking at his reflection, but because he didn't want to ruin the surprise. He wanted to see it when it was done, not while it was happening… After Maddie finished painting and putting those silver paper things in his hair, Castiel wondered if he should look to the mirror or not… Castiel took a while to think and ended up deciding against it. A surprise was a surprise, but he also wanted to know how he looked like. He got an idea and ended up asking Maddie a favor.

"Maddie, could you do something for me?"

She looked at him and nodded. It was then when she noticed he had his eyes closed. It took her a while to realize he couldn't see she had nodded.

"What do you need, Castiel?"

Castiel fished his phone from his pocket and unlocked it. He knew his phone so well that he didn't need to even open his eyes.

"Can you take a few pictures of how I look like right now?" He asked, a bit unsure of what her reaction would be. He didn't want to trouble her, but he also wanted to know how he looked at that moment. He wanted to think about it in a few years and remember the first time he dyed his hair, and pictures where always better than just remembering what he saw from the mirror.

"Sure thing." Maddie said as she took Cas's iPhone from his hands and touched the screen for the Camera application. She snapped a few pictures and smiled warmly.  _This Castiel kid is so cute!_  She couldn't help but think about the adorableness in Castiel.

She returned the iPhone to Castiel before they started talking about whatever topic Maddie decided. He found it interesting to find out more about some TV shows… Some his brothers watched and others were completely new to him… Was there really a TV show about a cannibal named Hannibal?! Did they make it rime on purpose!?

About half an hour later, Maddie decided it was time to remove the silver paper from Castiel's hair. His eyes remained stubbornly closed. He didn't want to spoil the surprise… He wanted to look at it, sure, but only when it was actually ready. He waited until Maddie took the last piece from his hair. He was about to open his eyes, when Maddie covered them with a hand towel.

"NO!" She yelled. Castiel jumped in his sit, not sure of what had happened. "I mean… Can you give me your phone again? I want to film your reaction…" She explained, a bit embarrassed that she thought Castiel might like the idea of watching his reaction later on…

As soon as Castiel understood why she suddenly started yelling, he calmed down. He took his phone from his pocket once again and unlocked it. Maddie took the phone from his hands and left him with the towel against his face.

"You can only take it off when I tell you, alright?" She said as she got the camera and started taking a few pictures of Castiel before switching it to filming mode. She pressed the screen and it started recording. "You can take it off." Slowly, Castiel took the towel from his face. His eyes were still closed, but he couldn't keep them closed for much longer. Now that it was safe to see, he was too curious as to how he looked like to keep his eyes closed. He opened them at the same time, his eyes fixing on the mirror in front of him. His hair wasn't wet anymore, so there was no point in dying it. The colors mixed well together and he couldn't find the words to express how much he liked the way his hair was at that moment.

He started shifting his head, to glance and see how it looked like from the sides. He still couldn't find the words he needed. He was silent the whole time. Maddie would have been worried he hadn't liked her work, but the way his eyes light up once he saw the final result told her he liked it. She beamed at Castiel's reaction and started walking around him, filming from different angles to show Castiel's hair.

"I take it you like it…" Maddie said after a while.

Castiel's eyes found hers and he grinned.

"It's amazing. Thank you!" He said happily.

They went back to the counter, and Maddie handed his iPhone back once more. Castiel paid for the haircut and the dyeing. He ended up giving Maddie a nice tip. She had been so helpful and nice to him… This was the only way he could repay her.

"Thank you, once again." Castiel said as he walked towards the exit door.

"You're welcome!" Maddie replied with an easy smile on her lips.

And so Castiel walked away from the hair saloon with a new haircut and his hair dyed. It might have been a bit crazy, but it symbolized the change he felt inside, and that made him feel happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please don't hate me. I'm so afraid you won't like it. *sweats nervously* I've been meaning to get Cas to do this for a while, but only now I was able to. If you hate it I'M REALLY SORRY! But don't hate me too! *hides away from the readers*
> 
> If you want to follow me on tumblr, I changed my url to blowing-dean (on my main account, the other remains the same)


	28. Movie Evening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I might not be able to write much for this story until the end of the month (sorry). I decided it would be good for me to participate in Camp NaNoWriMo, so I'm writing a fanfic in a month there. I'm also posting it here (Family Dinners), and if you want, feel free to read and review. 
> 
> Oh! One more thing! If anyone here is talented and wants to draw some fanart, feel free to submit it to my tumblr blowing-dean, since I suck at drawing it would be awesome if anyone decided to provide fanart for this story!

**Chapter 28 – Movie Evening**

"What the fuck?! This can't be right!" Dean said as he closed the book.

During the whole week, every night after John passed out, Dean would take  _Pride and Prejudice_  from under his pillow and read it. On the first night he simply turned the lights on, but Sam said he couldn't sleep with the light in his face, so Dean sat by his window instead. The window was a bit like  _Wendy_ 's from  _Peter Pan_ , and Dean sat next to it with his back against the wall, using the moonlight to illuminate the words on his page. For the first two nights, Dean was convinced that Castiel really was  _Mr. Darcy_ … An arrogant man who thought he was better than everyone else… His pride was his weak spot. But as he got half-way through the story, Dean wasn't so sure… Cas said he was  _Mr. Darcy_ , and that Dean thought he was  _Wickham_ … He only understood it as he got to the part where  _Elizabeth_  goes to  _Charlotte_ 's house, and by the end of the night Dean was more confused than ever. The mystery started to disappear and he started to understand all the little details about  _Mr. Darcy_. And now, after reading every night until 3 am, Dean wasn't sure he understood it right. So,  _Mr. Darcy_  was actually a good guy, and Wickham was –as Charlie had put it- the biggest douche ever!

Once he finished the book, Dean could see why Charlie said that Mr.  _Darcy_  was  _every girl's fantasy,_ the guy was really  _dreamy_ … Dean would admit that… But Castiel's words…  _"I'm not like Wickham… I am much more similar to Mr. Darcy… But then again, how would you know that?"_ The words continued to plague his mind. What could he have meat? Dean's mind focused on  _Darcy's_  letter to  _Elizabeth_ , and tried to understand the content. When  _Darcy_  explained everything to  _Lizzie_ , he told her about what he did. How he saved his sister and how awful Wickham is. That was what made Dean frown.

"What the hell could Cas mean by that?" He whispered to himself. Taking a glance at his phone, Dean checked the time. It was so much easier now; his hands were much better and he could actually grab things without howling in pain. He could close his hands, hold things-even write! The only problem was that they weren't good enough yet. Bobby told him to make sure his hands were healed before he was allowed under the hood of any car. Benny told him to keep running and to practice his stance in front of the punching bag. One or two times, he even got Gabriel to help him –Gabe was the punching bag.

During school hours, Gabe was always trying to spend time with him, asking him questions about Sam. Those two had become fast best friends, Dean concluded, after lengthy conversations with Gabriel concerning his brother. There was no way Gabriel would be helping him out this much if it wasn't for Sam. Gabriel was always bouncing around him asking Dean about Sam's embarrassing moments, Sam's favorite dishes, Sam's… everything. When he wasn't asking questions, Gabriel would ramble about what he was planning to do: he wanted to watch a movie with both him and Sam, at his house. Dean wasn't sure about that-it was one thing that Sam had gone to the Novak's…another was  _him_. He had no reason to be there. Sam and Gabe were pretty close and what would he do? Be the third wheel? Dean knew pretty much that Sam had a crush on Gabriel. The way Sam behaved at home was similar to the other teen. Sam knew that Gabe was spending almost every free period with Dean, so he was always asking about him. Or it was simply  _Gabe said that…_  or  _Gabe likes to…_  Dean liked to think his brother wasn't aware of how much he  _liked_ Gabriel just yet. The idea soothed him. He didn't want to have the talk with Gabriel, and he was sure Gabriel wouldn't want it too. Dean was very protective and Sam was his  _baby brother._ Gabe already knew that if anything happened to Sam, Dean would end him. Dean smiled thinking about how those two idiots ended up being best friends. Maybe going to Gabe's place wasn't that bad… He could… Hmm… Hang out with his brothers?  _No way in hell… Balthazar, I don't even know the guy… And Cas, I'm not ready to be alone with him again._

His mind focused on Castiel once more and he sighed. Another thing that Dean didn't understand was Cas's hair.  _What the hell crossed Castiel's mind to make him dye his hair? Is he trying to prove he is badass? Did he lose a bet or something?_ It was not like Dean didn't like the way Castiel looked, in fact, Dean thought Castiel looked hot with his hair dyed like that… Dean just couldn't understand what caused such a radical change.  _I really wanted to ask him, but he looked like he was busy, and I still don't know what he meant with being like Darcy! AHHH!_  Dean looked at the book in his hands. It was getting late, but his mind couldn't rest. The room was so silent that Dean could hear the wheels turning in his head.

 _What could he mean? Was he saying that he is a proud person? Well, that much is already obvious. What about not being Wickham? No, that can't be it… It has to be something else…_ Mentally, Dean drew a line and started to put together all he knew about both  _Wickham_  and  _Darcy. Wickham is a vile person, his pretends he is perfect and tries to get on everyone's good side. Now, Darcy… Darcy is a proud person. He lets everyone believe he is one thing when the truth is precisely the opposite. Darcy pretends that he hates just about everything, when he simply doesn't feel comfortable around people he doesn't know… Darcy tries to help those he cares about and he won't take a no for an answer, he tries to understand what's wrong and how to solve the problem._  After that mental exercise, Dean finds it easier to associate Castiel with  _Darcy_. All he knew about Castiel was that he wanted to find out what happened to Dean and that he wouldn't take a 'no' for an answer. But that was it. That was all he could find that matched  _Darcy_. For once, Dean wished he knew everything; it would be so much easier if he had all the facts! But he didn't, so he needed to find out by himself. The part of Cas that Dean thought was like  _Wickham_  was about how he got everyone to think he was practically god-he wouldn't be King with everyone's undying adoration if he wasn't, right?- and that made him pretty popular. Like Wickham. And in addition to that-he'd even managed to have that effect on Dean!

Everything was so confusing. Such was the life of a troubled teen. He knew he needed to understand Castiel better; his mind was telling him to seek him out and get the answers, whilst the other was reluctant and questioning. Cas had been trying to be nice to him. Every day, he would get at least a "Hello, Dean" from Castiel; that was what made it all harder.  _WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!_  Dean's head was screaming by that point. He sighed and looked out of the window, his eyes searching the ground as they had many times before. When everything got too complicated, Dean liked to think he could end it all. It gave him reassurance that he could simply jump and end all of his problems, but  _Sam_  was what made him continue. John would be merciless with Sam –especially since Sam was starting to get on his rebellious phase. John would be even worse to Sam than he was with Dean, and Dean wasn't gonna let his little brother get hurt like that… Not ever.

His eyes searched for Sam's form. The boy was asleep, the image of peace. Dean smiled. His brother was always the most important thing in his world. Not having anyone else to calm him down while he was a crying mess because of his father, Dean could say that just by looking at his brother, his mind could calm down enough to re-start his train of thoughts.

"What does it mean?" Dean whispered to himself. Sam shifted in his bed, and Dean decided there was only one option. "I need to give him a chance to show me what he meant. That's what Elizabeth would have done to  _Darcy_. That's what I'll do to Cas."

Dean climbed into bed and as soon as his head hit the pillow, he was fast asleep.

Dean was walking to the bathroom- he was trying to lose Gabriel, but the other guy just wouldn't leave him alone. Gabriel was trying to convince him to go to the Novak's place after school, so that they could go see a movie. They were speaking in hushed voices, not wanting to attract attention.

"But you have to come!" Gabriel whined. Dean didn't want to go. "Sam wants you there, and you need to get away from home!" Gabriel knew that it was unfair to say something like that to Dean; Dean knew exactly that he needed to get away from there, but he just couldn't.

"I told you already!" Dean replied annoyed. "I can't go!" He gave his best to think of a good enough excuse. As the idea got to his mind, he said it. "I have practice with Mr. Lafitte! And I need to go to the garage!"

Gabriel shook his head and sighed. How was he supposed to convince Dean to go with them? Sam wanted Dean there, he had said so to both of them; but not even that worked to get Dean to agree. Gabriel was starting to get annoyed.

"I think that's bullshit! I know you can't work at the garage yet! You told me that yesterday!" Gabriel replied annoyed. "Sam said he wanted you to go! You need a break from all of that shit!" His voice rose and by the end of the sentence, Gabe was yelling at him.

Dean's defensive mechanisms made him step towards Gabriel and yell back at him.

"Yeah, but I don't want to go!"

Gabriel's eyes shot open and he looked to both sides. He was trying to see if there was anyone else in the bathroom that could hear them. As he saw no one, Gabe tried to calm himself down.

"Come on, Dean! Just do this one thing for your brother… He is always concerned about you, and he won't go if you don't come too…" Dean pondered on going. Ever since John's latest attack, Sam almost wouldn't leave the house. He was always trying to make sure Dean was alright and that John wasn't going to kick his ass. "You both deserve a break from all that madness. You guys need to relax, and what place better than mine?"

Dean sighed in defeat.

"Alright… But I'm only doing this because of Sammy." He warned. "And this is a one-time experience. It won't happen again, ya hear me?"

"Yes sir!" Gabriel replied cheekily. "Just try to relax while you're there."

"I'll give my best…" Dean said, trying to get Gabriel to let him walk into one of the stalls.

"You have to promise me!" Gabriel said, jumping in front of him. Nonchalantly, he took a lollipop from his jeans and started sucking it.

Dean rolled his eyes and looked at him with an expression that could be read as  _'Are kidding me?'_

"Come on, Dean! You gotta promise you'll go!" Gabriel whined.

"Alright, fine! I promise!" He said, finally giving up. "Now, can you please get out of my way? I need to pee!"

Dean got up from his last class and walked over to Mr. Lafitte's office.

"Hey Benny." Dean greeted as he walked. That office was one of his favorite spots in the entire school; he felt safe in there, especially if Benny was there.

"Hey there, champ!" Benny replied, a smile on his lips. "Everything alright?"

Dean nodded and sat himself in the chair in front of Benny.

"I just came here to tell you I can't go to practice." Dean expected Benny to tell him that champions didn't become that by skipping practice, but instead a soft laugh was what he heard.

"And here I thought I would have to force you to go! You have been working yourself out a lot. Even champions deserve a break from time to time…" He said. "And Dean, have some fun." At Dean's frown made him laugh. "You can't seriously expect that Gabriel wouldn't try to come to me and convince me to let you go, did you?"

Of course… Gabriel would make sure he would go. Even after promising, Gabriel still didn't trust him.

"What a dick!" Dean said. "I can't believe he thought I wouldn't do what I promised!"

Benny laughed. "You better get going before he walks in here and accuses me of working with you!"

Dean nodded in agreement.

"Thanks for letting me go, Benny. It won't happen again!" Dean promised.

"You better make it happen again, Dean, or you'll work yourself to exhaustion!" Benny replied as the boy walked outside of his office.

Dean and Gabriel were waiting for Sam in the middle of path to the Novak's. Dean still wasn't sure if it was a good idea, but there was no way he could back out of it now.

They had been there for about five minutes when Balthazar walked up to them.

"Hey, bro!" He greeted Gabriel and nodded in Dean's direction to acknowledge his presence. "What's up?"

Gabriel grinned at his brother. "Movie evening!" he said, extremely content.

Balthazar seemed happy with Gabriel's words. "You should go to the movie room! We could all watch a movie!" Dean wasn't ready for this. All he wanted to do was run away from the Novak.  _I thought it was just gonna be me, Gabe and Sammy! I don't want to be with all of them!_

Dean's face showed his panic and Gabriel laughed slightly.

"We are gonna use the movie room, but I thought you were going to Meg's place."

All the happiness in Balthazar's face disappeared.

"Do I really need to go?" He asked.

"Yeah… She's your girlfriend, not mine!" Gabriel replied. "Besides, you were the one that asked her if you could go there! And she will probably be upset if you back out now… And you know how she gets when she's upset."

Balthazar sighed.

"You're right. I'll see you at home, Gabe!" And with that, Balthazar walked away from them.

Sam showed up a minute later. His breathing was uneven and it looked like he had been running.

"Hey kid!" Gabriel greeted. "Were you running a marathon or something?"

Sam rolled his eyes.

"Sorry, my teacher said he wanted to speak to me… Apparently, he liked a short-story I wrote as homework."

"Hey-a Sammy." Dean greeted as he ruffled his brother's hair. "Your teacher has every reason to like that short story! It was awesome!" A bit unsure of what he had written, Sam asked his brother to give him his opinion. About ten minutes later, Sam was being showered in compliments. The story was amazing; it was about a werewolf hunt. He, Dean and Bobby were trying to kill a werewolf, because he was turning people without caring if they knew what they were or not. The story had been written in one of the victim's point of view; it started with the pain of transition, and ended with Dean killing her.

Sam grinned at his brother's comment. "I'm glad you liked it Dean. Mr. Inias said it wasn't exactly what he wanted, but that it was the best our class wrote." Sam was really proud of it, he had thought about what the teacher asked  _Write about your family_  and Sam couldn't do that, could he? So he decided it would be best if he simply wrote something about himself, his brother and Uncle Bobby.

"Can I read it?" Gabriel asked, Sam told him he could only read after the teacher, so he had been wondering when he would be able to read the story. He was so excited that maybe he would get to  _finally_ read it! "Please? Pleaseeeeeee…?" And there he was, begging Sam to read the short story he wrote.

Sam laughed.

"Yeah, Gabe. You can read it when we get to your place." And just like that, Gabe grabbed both Winchester's hands and started running, while pulling them along.

"Oh. My. God! Sam!" Gabe said as he finished reading the story. "I can't believe I wasn't in it!" He pouted.

Sam chuckled. As a matter of fact, Sam thought about adding the Novak's as angels, but that would have been weird, right? Sam didn't want Gabriel to think he was a weirdo!

"Sorry… Maybe next time." Sam said softly, trying not to blush. Gabe wanted to be part of it, but Sam didn't know if he could write Gabriel into the story and not make him an angel. Gabriel was  _good_ , and Sam knew that there was an  _archangel_ named Gabriel, so maybe if he wrote him as an archangel, it wouldn't be so weird. No! Of course it would be weird! Sam simply couldn't write him in!

"If you don't, then when I die, I'll become a ghost so that I can scare you!" He pouted.

The Novak's kitchen wasn't small. Actually it was pretty massive-a lot bigger than Sam and Dean's. All three of them were inside, making popcorn for their movie –which they were still trying to decide- evening. Being the sweet tooth he was, Gabriel decided to add as much sugar as possible while making the popcorn. He also decided to sneak some cookies to the movie room; not counting the candy he already had hidden inside the room.

It took them about ten minutes to get everything set and soon all three of them were en route to the movie room. They were near the door, when Castiel walked down the stairs.

"Hello, brother." Castiel greeted. "Dean, Sam."

"Hey, Cas." Dean replied. Dean looked at Cas's hair and quickly looked away. Dean didn't want to get hard while thinking about how sexy Castiel looked with his hair that way,  _with Castiel, Gabriel and his brother in front of him!_

"Hey Cassie." Gabe said, not giving much attention to his brother. He opened the door, and somewhat ignored Castiel's presence. He wasn't sure how Cas was going to react when he first saw Dean and Sam. It wasn't like Gabriel asked his opinion, and that could have been a wrong move.

"Hello, Castiel!" Sam greeted with a smile in his lips. "Do you want to see a movie with us?"

Dean's eyes shot wide.  _Why Sam? I know I thought I would try to understand him better by letting him be my friend, but I'M NOT READY YET!_

"Sure." Cas replied shortly. "What movie are we watching?"

 _NO!_ The mental war with himself almost didn't let him hear what Gabriel said.

"We're gonna watch Barbie movies!" Gabe said cheekily.

"NO!" Dean yelled. As every one of them looked at him, Dean felt the red cover his cheeks.  _Dammit! Why did I have to yell?_ Coughing lightly, Dean tried to speak again. "I mean… We're watching Batman."

Gabriel looked at him with a grin. Gabriel knew that this wasn't an option. He practically forced Dean to come, so he had to, at least, let the poor guy choose the movie.

"Alright. Batman it is." He said, looking at Dean. Suddenly facing his brother he added. "We're watching Batman, feel free to join us!"

Castiel frowned.

"I've never seen Batman."

Dean's eyes shot up to Castiel's face and his mouth fell open.

"What do you mean you haven't seen Batman!?" Faking that he was about to pass out, Dean resumed. "You  _have_ to watch it! Everyone needs to watch it at least once! Batman is just the best super hero ever!"

Sam chuckled. His brother was such a dork.

"Is he always like this?" Gabriel asked, his voice low, but still high enough for Dean to hear.

Sam nodded.

"He's such a dork!" Sam turned to face his brother. "You should have seen him the first time he saw Batman! He even had a boner!"

And that was it!  _What the hell Sammy?! Some things are meant to stay in your head! And some of those things aren't_ _meant_ _to be in your head! Why would you tell them that? Why would you remember such a thing?! Now Cas thinks I'm even a stupider than before! There are something's you're not supposed to say in front of your brother's crush!_

To his surprise, Gabriel was the only one laughing. One he looked up, Castiel was looking at the floor, and his mind seemed troubled. As if he was thinking about something that left him incredibly confused.

"I'm gonna watch the movie with you guys." He suddenly stated, leaving Dean even more speechless than ever.

The movie was good. It wasn't the original –which was Dean's favorite- but it was the most recent one. The actor was hot, and when he got into saving people, Dean couldn't help but feel his dick twitch slightly. And then, there was Castiel, on his left side, trying to understand the movie.

"Why did he jump?" Cas asked at a certain point. "It's obvious that jump is not possib- What? How is that possible? He should have fallen and broke his spine!"

Watching the movie with Castiel by his side had been Cas's idea. They were all sitting when Cas finally got in and he decided to sit down next to Dean. It could have been a nice movie session, if Cas weren't asking him questions every five minutes.

"Dean? I don't understand!" It was starting to become annoying. But Castiel didn't look like he was gonna stop asking why Batman was able to do such risky jumps, when it was obvious they were impossible!

Dean finally had enough.

"Shut up, Cas! It's a movie! It doesn't need to be accurate about the fact that they would have died if it was a real situation. And besides, Christian Bale is hot, so shut the hell up!" Dean had no idea why he said that. No one knew he was gay, apart from his brother and Charlie. No one else knew, but oh well…  _But now they know!_  Alright, maybe it wasn't the best time to be thinking about Frozen, but Dean had seen the movie just a few days ago –with Charlie- and now he couldn't get the songs out of his head.

To his great surprise, Castiel replied.

"Sorry."

And so they kept watching the movie in silence, except for a few comments from Dean on awesome the movie was. Dean was entranced with the movie, he didn't care about anything else apart from its awesomeness, how much he loved Batman and the looks of a certain Christian Bale. The movie was almost ending, and Dean was still focused on eating his popcorn -Sam grew tired of it, so he gave his to Dean- and from time to time, Castiel would eat some. Not all the time, but at random moments, his hands searched for it. Gabriel ate all of his about ten minutes into the movie; then he started sucking on a lollipop he took out from under his seat.

Watching the movie had been good for Dean. Sam and Gabriel grinned at each other, because the actual purpose of their little movie evening was to get Dean to relax, even if it was just for a few hours.

"We need to go Sammy." Dean said; he was starting to grow anxious. John would be home soon and he didn't want to suffer his wrath for not being home before.

Sam huffed. He wanted to stay a bit more!

"Just five more minutes! I want to ask Gabe something!" Sam said as he pulled Gabriel before Dean could catch him. He took Gabriel to Gabe's room and left Dean in the entrance hall, waiting for him.

Dean was annoyed at Sam. His brother should know better than to make their father angry at him. But his brother looked so happy, that Dean couldn't stay mad for much longer. Soon enough a soft smile graced his features.

"Now here's a sight that we don't see too often." Castiel said as he walked out of the kitchen.

Dean looked at the floor, his cheeks tainted red. Dean thought about asking the questions that concerned him all night. But he felt like he couldn't. He needed Castiel to ask him before he opened his mouth; Dean was afraid of Cas's reaction to his questions. Castiel seemed to understand his dilemma.

"What's on your mind? You seem troubled…"

Dean sighed. He took a deep breath before starting to speak.

"What does it mean?" Despite having focused on something else, Dean still had the question in his mind, so he didn't need to think too hard what he wanted to ask first. His words were just a bit above a whisper, but they sounded as firm as Dean wanted them to be.

Castiel frowned. He wasn't sure what Dean was talking about.

"What does what mean?" He asked back.

Dean sighed. Trying to control his anxiousness, he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Wickham… Darcy… All of it!"

Cas laughed softly before he addressed Dean.

"Don't get your panties in a twist Dean, I'm sure you'll figure it out if you read th-"

"I READ IT ALREADY, OK?!" Dean didn't want to sound so desperate, but he couldn't help himself. His head hurt, he had focused on that topic for so long that he couldn't find ways that weren't dead ends. He had no idea what to make out of Cas's words. "I read it already, and that's the problem. I don't know what you meant with it."

"Maybe I just wanted to tell you that there is more about me than you know…" Castiel trailed off, not wanting to tell Dean everything just yet. He told Anna because she was the person that mattered when he changed, and now he was pondering telling Dean, because he was the reason he realized what he had been doing during the last four years.

Dean was almost pulling all his hair from his head. He couldn't keep on with it… He needed to  _know_  and soon!

"That just made it worse." Dean whispered. "I need to know Cas… What does it mean?"

Castiel sighed.

"You're not ready to know yet." He replied, not wanting to delve further in that matter. "All I can tell you is that you should try and find out on your own."

_Shit… he wants me to go all Elizabeth Bennet on him and try to see that he's like Darcy!_

Dean nodded. He didn't want to make Castiel angry, he just wanted answers, and if what it took was to become Castiel's friend, then so be it! He would become his friend if it meant he could find out the truth about him.

"Alright… And can you at least tell me why the hell you dyed your hair?" If Dean couldn't have one answer, he would try to get another…

Castiel chuckled.

"I wanted to remember something." He explained, not saying anything further than that.

"Oh, so when you need to remember something you dye your hair? Good advice Cas! Next time I want to remember someone's birthday I'll just dye my hair green!" Dean mocked. After a few seconds of silence, Dean added. "You look good with your hair like that."

Castiel nodded.

"Maddy said the same thing." Upon Dean's frown, he elaborated. "The woman who dyed my hair."

"Was it really because you wanted to remember something?" The question left Dean's mouth before he could contain himself.

Castiel thought of what he could say… He couldn't say too much, but he could explain just a little bit.

"I feel like my inside is different, and I need to remind myself of that… So what better way than to just get your hair dyed? Besides, people think it's badass that I got my hair dyed." It was true; people at school came up to him and told him how awesome he looked and how he should dye it next time… But they didn't understand the meaning of it, so he didn't care about what they thought. Of course it was nice to know he looked  _awesome_ , but he already knew that.

"Yeah, well, it suits you." Before he could say anything else, Sam ran down the stairs with Gabriel on tow.

"Thanks for inviting us, Gabe!" Sam said happily. "It was awesome; but we need to go now!"

Dean nodded.

"Yeah; thanks for everything, but we really need to go." He said, already outside of the house. "I'll see you guys tomorrow at school."


	29. The one where things don't go as planned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fear not, my people! Your Queen is alive!   
> Sorry this took so long, but school sucks. I'm also sorry this chapter is kinda short, but I just wanted to get it to you guys soon...  
> I hope you like it!

_Chapter 29 – The one where things don't go as planned_

***Earlier that day***

_"I want to ask Gabe something!"_

Sam grabbed Gabriel's arm and pulled him along the stairs to Gabe's room. Sam didn't even care if Dean was going to be annoyed with him; all he knew was that he needed to talk to Gabriel. And he needed to do it soon.

It didn't take too long for them to reach the top floor. As soon as they were inside Sam closed the door and let himself slide down and panted for a few seconds. All the while Gabriel tried to understand what Sam could possibly want to tell him.

"What's goi-" Gabriel started only to be interrupted by Sam.

"I need to tell you something." The nervousness was tangible in his voice. Sam raised his hand and combed his hair with his fingers. Gabe tried to say something but Sam shushed him. "I want to tell you something," Sam repeated, "but you can't say anything until I'm done. I'm not sure if this is going to be a mistake or if it's actually a good thing." Sam stopped for a few seconds once more; he was trying to find the best words to explain himself, but it was hard.

Gabriel stared at Sam for a few seconds. Sam looked like he was trying to do something hard, but he was trying and that was all Gabe wanted. He could try and understand whatever it was later.

"I'm listening." Gabe said as he sank in his bed and took a package of Skittles from under his pillow. It didn't take him too long to start eating the Skittles all the while he kept looking directly to Sam.

Sam nodded. That was all he wanted; Gabe to sit down and listen to him. Sam grabbed Gabriel's desk chair and placed it in front of Gabriel, so they could be face to face. Before he spoke again, Sam looked to the way Gabriel was sitting, his body language showed he was interested in what Sam had to say; what he really wanted to know was how his feet were… While he was in class, someone said that if people were really interested, their feet would be pointing to you and parallel to each other. Once he realized they were in fact pointing to Sam and parallel to each other, the younger boy smiled.

"Ever since we first became friends, I've been the luckiest person out there; I got myself a friend. I never thought I would have people actually wanting to talk to me and ask me out to watch a movie in their house. I've never had that before."

Gabriel looked confused; despite the Skittles, he wasn't even paying them that much attention. The look of ' _nod-if-you're-understanding_ ' in Sam's face made him do so.

"You know, the first time we went to the park was the first time I ever went there with someone that wasn't my brother… We-I… That was the most fun I've ever had with someone that wasn't Dean." Before he tried to spoke again, Sam scratched the back of his neck; it looked like he was trying to find words in his brain, but wasn't succeeding that much. "This is harder than I thought…"

Gabriel wanted to ask something. What was even the point of that conversation? He was too confused, but he knew that Sam would be mad if he was interrupted… So Gabriel kept his doubts to himself. When Sam looked at his face, Gabriel gave him a smile to let him know he was still listening.

"There it is." Sam said a bit too excited than it was necessary. "That smile." Before continuing, a deep blush started to appear in his cheeks. "Every night, I go to sleep and I have a smile in my face, because I remember how you smiled when we were laughing or eating candy or whatever we were doing…"

Those words must have made it clear to Gabriel what that conversation was about. His eyes were glowing and his smile was his most charming one.

"I am lucky that I have such a good friend…" A brief pause made Sam get up from his chair and stop in front Gabriel, his throat was dry and he knew that if things went wrong –and there was still a possibility for that– their friendship would never be the same; but the way Gabriel was looking at him made Sam continue. "And I would be even luckier if I had a boyfriend like that."

Without wasting a second, Sam tilted his head and his lips searched for Gabriel's. It was a soft kiss, it only lasted a few seconds but it was enough to pass on the message he was trying to convey.

After that, Sam glanced down towards Gabriel. Sam wasn't sure if he had crossed an unspoken line of their friendship, but he hoped he hadn't. The younger teen hoped he had done perfectly alright, and had turned their friendship into something more. As the seconds passed and Gabriel didn't speak, Sam started to get nervous once more.

Gabriel was shocked, he had been thinking about Sam for a while, but he didn't want to be accused of only wanting to fool around. Sam was so much more than that, and that was the reason Gabe didn't try to make a move with Sam; besides, Sam was younger and Dean would kill him if he messed with his little brother. The kiss had taken him by surprise, he was sure Sam was only going to admit that their time together as friends was the best and that Sam considered him his best friend, but this was so much better.

Sam tried to walk away from Gabriel, since he wasn't saying anything at all.

_Damn it! I crossed the line! He's gunna hate me now! Why did I have to do that?! That was a stupid move!_

As he took a step backwards, Sam tripped in Gabriel's school bag and feel to the floor.

The movement was enough to wake Gabriel from his own thoughts. He glanced towards Sam and moved to help him up. Sam was blushing and Gabriel couldn't help but think how cute Sam looked.

"I think now it's my turn to talk…" Gabriel said once Sam was up to his feet. Sam could only stare, as he was too embarrassed to speak. "Don't worry; I don't have a speech as big as yours," He said with a wink. Gabriel looked at Sam. "I like you too." And so he kissed Sam, this time holding them together a bit longer than their previous kiss.

Once they pulled away, Sam was smiling brightly and the only thing he could do was hug Gabriel.

"I'm glad… I was starting to think you were never going to talk to me again."

Gabriel hugged him back and snorted.

"That would never happen. My little Sammy-kins is too cute to never be spoken to."

"Good. Do you think we should tell them?" Sam asked.

"No, I think we should keep quiet for a while… We'll tell them when we're ready."

Sam sighed happily and they kept hugging for about a minute before the youngest teen remembered he and Dean needed to get home. The youngest Winchester grabbed Gabriel's hand and started to run down the stairs, as soon as he was in the main entrance, he let go of Gabriel and thanked him.

"Thanks for inviting us, Gabe!" Sam said happily. "It was awesome; but we need to go now!"

***Back to the present***

"So… Are you gunna tell me what that was about?" Dean asked as they were walking, as fast as they could, to their house.

Almost all the way until that moment had been spent in silence, except for the humming coming from Sam's mouth.

"It was nothing… I just wanted to ask Gabe something." Sam had decided it would be better if they didn't say anything just yet, and as tempting as it was to tell his big brother he had a boyfriend, he didn't want to say anything.

Dean didn't buy it, and Sam knew it; but being the great guy he was Dean didn't press any further. Sam would tell him when he was ready.

They kept walking fast and soon they were in front of their house. Dean sighed while Sam unlocked the door. Dean walked inside first and Sam followed soon after.

The house was quiet and for a second, they thought John wasn't home yet.

"W'ere th'hell were you?" John yelled, entrained words sounding hard and mad. John had clearly been drinking something strong; he usually got his words entrained by harder drinks.

Dean immediately lowered his head and let himself get the blame.

"I'm sorry." Dean whispered.

"OH!" John yelled. "You're sorry…" John laughed and then stumbled towards Dean. His fist was connected to Dean's face almost immediately.

Dean whimpered, but as usual, did nothing to fight it. He didn't dare to do it… After all, John was still his father.

"Lik'a girl!" John laughed, punching Dean wherever he could reach, Dean tried to cover his hands and his face; those were the places people would see and his hands weren't completely healed… He needed to keep them safe for a little longer. "Deanna… Pat'etic! You're the wo'st pe'son evah."

Sam had never seen his father being so aggressive to Dean. Most of the times, John would do it when Sam wasn't around, but this time, John was on full attack mode and didn't care about people around him. He was in such a shock that Sam couldn't move; he was stuck to the floor and his mouth stood there open.

As John's hands started to get tired, he also started to kick Dean. His shins were getting kicked and soon Dean's legs gave up and he fell to the floor. As he started getting kicking in his stomach, he let out a howl of pain. Once again, Dean was lying down on the floor, curled up on himself, receiving kicks from his father.

Enough was enough.

"STOP!" Sam yelled, trying to catch John's attention. He couldn't keep watching his brother be in so much pain. He needed to get John to stop! "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! YOU HAVE TO STOP! DEAN IS IN PAIN AND I DON'T WANT HIM TO SUFFER!"

John stared at his youngest son and laughed.

"W'y do ya even care?" John slurred, his voice filled with anger.

"Because I'm sick of this!" Sam replied through clenched teeth. "If you don't know how to behave, then we're leaving."

John kept staring at his son, as if asking him to dare him to do as he said.

"Good bye dad." Sam said as he helped Dean get up from the floor and took him outside. Sam only stopped to grab their school bags that they had left by the doorway.

* * *

Sam got Dean to walk a block before Dean fell to the floor. His legs weren't helping him and he was giving his best to keep going.

"Let's stop for a few seconds." Sam suggested upon his brother's struggle. "I want to talk to you, Dean."

Dean raised his head and faced Sam.

"You can't let him do this to you… What did Benny teach you?" Trying to get a reaction out of his brother was hard. Dean looked like he was in a coma, just like he usually did after getting hit on by John. "You have to fight back!"

The last words seemed to wake Dean up a little.

"I can't do it… It's too big. Sammy, I can't do it… He's still our dad. If he was some random person I wouldn't hesitate, but he's our father."

Sam frowned.

"No… He's just the guy who lives with us. If he was our father he would start acting like such. He shouldn't hold the title of our father if he can't behave like he should." Sam's words were filled with anger as if he was trying to make a point get through.

Dean understood what Sam meant.

"I just can't do it…" Dean said, his voice broken. They stayed in silence for a few seconds before Dean started walking again. "Where are we going?"

"We're going to Gabe's place… He did say we could stay there if we ever needed."

Dean wanted to argue. He didn't want to become a nuisance, and going to Gabe was being exactly that.

"Can't we just go to Bobby's?" Dean asked.

"You know we can't. Dad will look for us there. He doesn't know I'm-we're friends with Gabe."

"Fine. But tomorrow I'm staying at Bobby's."

Since neither of them spoke, it became clear that Sam would let him have his way. They kept on walking, stopping every once in a while because  _damn_ , Dean was exhausted.

Once they neared Gabe's block, Dean was half unconscious, being dragged by Sam. Everything hurt and as much as he tried to keep moving, he just couldn't. Sam never let go, nor did he complain; he simply helped his brother as much as he could.

The last block was the hardest, Sam was carrying all of Dean's weight and they backpacks. But eventually, they were in front of the Novak's household.

Sam placed one of the bags on the floor. He took a few seconds before he knocked on the door. It took three more knocks for someone to open the door.

When the door opened, Balthazar stood there looking at the Winchester brothers for a few seconds. From the look on his face, he looked like he had just seen something and had no idea how to process it.

"Just go fetch Gabe." Sam begged.

Balthazar did as he was asked and let the door ajar. Gabriel came to the door in a matter of seconds.

"Sam." He said as soon as he opened the door and saw Dean now really unconscious in his brother's arms. Sam had tears falling down his cheeks and Gabriel felt really bad for not being able to take their pain away. "Come inside… He won't find you here." Gabe whispered as he let Sam inside and helped him carry Dean.


	30. Late Night Talks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOUR QUEEN LIVES! Hey guys! I'm sorry I didn't update this story for such a long time... but I had so much school work to worry about that I couldn't even look at the word documment. The other day I had a problem with my computer and I thought I had lost the 3k words I had already written, so I finished the chapter. HERE IT IS!
> 
> Again, sorry for the long wait... I hope you guys like it! ^w^

**Chapter 30 – Late Night Talks**

"Calm down Sam." Gabriel said as he hugged Sam.

They arrived at the Novak's about four hours earlier. They managed to wake Dean up and treat his wounds, but when they started asking more than five times if he was alright, Dean rose from Gabriel's bed, grabbed his backpack and slowly stumbled down stairs.

Dean wanted peace and quiet, he didn't want to have Sam and Gabriel worrying over him, so as soon as he arrived to the living room, he passed out on the couch.

"I can't calm down Gabe!" Sam replied, his face buried in his boyfriend's shirt. "My dad, he… he will never be alright with Dean. Do you have any idea what it feels like to see your brother get kicked in the gut by your father?" Tears were streaming down his face and he couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Shh" Gabe hushed, trying to calm him down. "I don't know what that feels like, but I do know that I hate it when you cry." Gabriel kissed the top of Sam's and raised his hand to sooth the younger Winchester's back.

Sam didn't talk for a while, his mind was too focused on how his brother was, he wanted to walk down stairs and stay up all night to see if Dean was alright, but he knew that was only going to make Dean angry; he would want Sam to rest so he could have a good day at school.

* * *

 

Meanwhile, in the next room, Castiel looked at the digital clock he had in his desk. He knew it was late, but reading what would most likely be tomorrow's lesson at History was more important than sleeping.

Since Dean and Sam left the house, Cas walked to his room and started doing his homework; it would have been done by now, but he had stayed with the Winchester's and his brother watching that movie… So now he was doing his usual routine. The only time Cas got up from his desk was to go to the bathroom one hour ago.

The clock marked 1 a.m. and Cas' stomach ached for food. With a low grumble, Castiel stood up and walked out of his room. When he walked close to Gabriel's room to ask if he had food, Cas noticed the door wasn't fully closed; he heard Sam crying and saw his brother hugging him.

_That's weird… Didn't he leave like five hours ago?_

Shaking his head, Castiel decided not to interrupt, it looked like Sam was rather distressed and he didn't want to make it worse.

_If Sam's here; then maybe… Maybe Dean is here too._

Cas walked down the flights of stairs and when he was about to enter the kitchen, he heard a whimper coming from the living room. Castiel wasn't sure what it was, so he decided to go investigate. He walked slowly, trying not to make any sudden movements. Once he was inside the room, he noticed a figure sleeping in his couch. Slowly, he walked up to it. His face moved closer to inspect the person, and soon, he realized it was Dean. The youngest Novak wasn't sure what he should do, Dean was sleeping and he shouldn't be staring. But there was something off about Dean. The right side of his face looked too dark; the way Dean was turned looked rather odd, as if he was avoiding sleeping in his sides or stomach… Something wasn't right.

Cas wasn't prepared for the moment when Dean's eyes shot open. Dean blinked two to three times before he noticed Castiel standing close to him, staring at him.

"What the hell, Cas?" He asked confusion tangible in his voice. Slowly, Dean raised his upper body from his makeshift bed and so he could face Cas better. He looked somewhat annoyed and confused.

Cas took a step back, distancing himself a bit from Dean.

"What are you doing here?" Castiel's question sounded loud and clear in the silent room.

Dean looked at Castiel, his eyes showed he was both in pain and afraid of what would happen next.

"Hmm… I-I…" Castiel frowned, looking directly at Dean's eyes. "Me and Sammy got mugged when we were going home." Lies… There were always lies. "And the guy was gunna break into our place, so we came back here."

Cas pondered on that for a few moments, as if trying to decipher if Dean was telling the truth and what he would be best to ask.

"How long have you been here?" The black haired teen asked after staring at the carpet of the living room floor for what felt like an hour.

Dean looked around the room, searching for a clock. When he finally found one on the wall, he frowned.

"I don't know." Truth-be told, Dean didn't remember what time it was when they got to their place, and had even less idea when he left it. Getting dragged by Sam to the Novak's was something he didn't even remember happening. All he remembered was Sam asking him to keep going and then everything went black… When he woke up he was in Gabriel's bed, Sam was shaking his arm, tears straining his face and Gabriel was trying to put an ice pack on his face. After he got taken care of he said goodbye and found himself a place to lie down and sleep. "I wasn't paying attention."

Castiel nodded.

"You don't look okay…" He mumbled mostly to himself. "Not even a little bit."

If Dean heard him, he didn't say anything.

"What are you doing here at…?" Dean hesitated trying to take a glance towards the clock once again, only to find out it was too dark to see anything.

"It's 1 a.m., Dean." Castiel supplied. "And I'm hungry… I skipped dinner and I really needed to eat something. I wouldn't have noticed you if you hadn't whimpered when I came down."

Dean groaned. He was the one to be blamed for this! If Castiel found anything because he so much as groaned in his sleep; he would rather die. In a moment of self-hatred, Dean threw his back on the couch, which proved to be a bad choice; the way his back fell to the couch made Dean groan in pain and clutch to the pillow behind his head.

"I'm fine…" He tried to sound convincing.

"No you're not." The only light in the room came through the window and was shining directly towards Dean's face, making the marks on his cheekbone evident; there was also, of course, the way his whole face twisted in pain. "How did you even get your face this hurt and bruised?" Concern transpired in Castiel's voice.

Dean wasn't sure how he looked like, he hadn't dared look to the mirror to see how bad it was, and simply went to sleep.

"I told you…" Dean replied. He hated to lie, but this was an extreme situation and he had been lying about his bruises during almost all of his life… "I got mugged; I wouldn't give him my wallet, and he kicked my ass."

"That's bullshit and you know it." Castiel could be many things, but he wasn't stupid. "I know for a fact you can defend yourself enough to not let this kind of things happen to you. You may not tell me, but I will find out Dean. Just like I will find out who the hell has been hurting you."

When Castiel stopped speaking, Dean was left speechless, he knew Castiel wasn't going to give up trying to find who it was, but he didn't think he would still be this convinced he would find out.

"And when I find out, I'll freaking kick his ass!" Cas' eyes found their way towards the walls around him, fury present in his eyes.

Dean's mouth stood ajar; Castiel sounded so angry, so protective and that left Dean at a loss. He didn't know Cas that well as to have him avenge him.

The simple fact that there was so much emotion in Cas' voice was enough to make Dean falter. He simply didn't know how to handle the situation. As much as he wanted to pretend he didn't know what the dark haired teen was talking about, Dean couldn't help himself.

"Thank you…" He murmured, so low that it was mostly to himself; as if he was speaking his thoughts without even realizing it. Dean was caught in a moment of weakness when he acknowledged he actually wanted someone to kick John's ass; to make him suffer as much he did.

Despite how low Dean spoke, Castiel heard it. All the anger he had showed just a few seconds before, he calmed down to look at Dean.

"As much as you want to hide who it is, I will find a way to make this person suffer." He reassured. "Just wait and see."

There was a slight smile in Castiel's lips, as if he was daydreaming what it would feel like to punish someone for hurting Dean.

"This is becoming kinda creepy Cas…" Dean mumbled, the way the other boy was smiling was actually creeping Dean out.

Cas chuckled lightly.

"I just like thinking I can make someone suffer when they deserve it."

Dean turned to face the couch instead of Cas.

"If you like doing that, then why do you let guys like Crowley and Alastair behave like fucking creeps who used to beat the shit out of me every day? Or guys like Gordon who liked to not only kick me but also emotionally drained me?" Dean couldn't face Castiel; he knew that he couldn't say those things to Castiel while looking at him. He might be getting better at facing his fears, but there was no way he would be this front-forward with a guy that could hurt him if he wanted… And there was also the fact he had a crush on said guy.

"You know what? I let myself be controlled by power. I used to like being around my siblings and you know what happened? They weren't there for me. When bad things happen, families start behaving like one. So when something bad was about to happen to a friend of mine I took charge and became the worst thing I could possibly be. I didn't care if I started acting like someone I wasn't. And I sure as hell didn't try to think it through." The way Cas was venting everything was almost too much for Dean; of course Cas wasn't mentioning important details, but he was still sharing part of his story. The story of how he became who was. There was so much information in that speech that the Winchester was having a bit of trouble processing everything.

"But you became what you were trying to face." Dean acknowledged as Cas' words sank in. "Maybe you weren't as bad as them, but you became a bully and I'm pretty sure your friend didn't like that."

Cas huffed.

"As I said," Annoyance was starting to sound in Castiel's voice, "Power started to become more and more difficult for me to handle… And I just can't switch it off… Except that I can."

Dean frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"What I'm trying to say is that once I got remembered my initial reasons I got back to where I was before." He replied carefully. "I might still be a jackass but now I remember that I'm only pretending to be a jackass to keep people safe. I have the power to control freaks like Alastair or Gordon or Crowley… Now they're my bitches!"

Dean wasn't sure what he should say next. What Castiel said made some sense, but it didn't sound like everything was explained… Like, how did he even got back to his old self?

"Can we please talk about something else? I don't want to get worked up this late." Castiel asked.

As soon as he heard those words, Dean blushed.

_Does that mean he wants to keep talking to me?_

In a spontaneous moment of curiosity, Dean slowly turned his face towards Castiel. Once he noticed Castiel was staring at him, Dean looked back to the couch again. His cheeks were burning, bright red coloring them.

So many thoughts crossed Dean's mind. After all, he had dreamt of having Castiel looking at him so many times, but that's all those dreams were; dreams. He never actually expected to have a full stare directed to him, dammit!

Cas was the one who broke the silence.

"You're not gunna tell me what actually happened to you, are you?"

Dean took a deep breath. He needed to calm down, Cas was gunna keep asking things and he needed to answer them as well as he could.

"No." He replied in a small voice.

Cas sighed.

"If you so adamantly refuse to tell me, then you must really be afraid of this person…" Cas stopped speaking for some brief seconds. "Is it the same person from before?"

"Caaas…" Dean groaned, he didn't want to answer anything else. His head hurt from all the blows it got from John and he needed to sleep. "Stop asking things I can't answer!"

Castiel rolled his eyes.

"Fine! No need to get so worked up about it! But by your reaction, I'm gunna assume it was indeed the same person."

"Will you just stop it? There are things you don't want to talk about, and there are things I don't want to talk about. So let's not talk about any of them! Please…"

"I'll stop talking about it if you just turn around and face me." Cas argued his eyes still fixed on the back of Dean's head.

Reluctantly, Dean turned around and sat down on the couch. There were so many things he wanted to do right now, like sleeping, or talking with Cas about  _Pride and Prejudice_. Talking about his father wasn't one of them.

"Are you ever gunna explain me what you meant with  _Wickham_  and  _Darcy_  or do I have to ask it on  _Yahoo_?" Dean asked, trying to make a funny comment out of something he considered deadly serious.

Cas pondered for a while, trying to decide if it would be worth it telling or if he simply didn't want to share his story.

"All I'm gunna tell you is what I've told you before… You assume I'm  _Wickham_ , because people like me but I can also be a cruel bitch…" Cas stopped and there was a hint of a smile in his face. "But I'm actually more like  _Darcy_  I don't like to say I'm a good person, because I've done a lot of bad things in my rogue years, but I have done a lot of good things too behind people's back. I don't like to have too many lights focused on me. I'm  _Darcy_  because I am more of a knight-in-shining armor than I am a bloody bastard. So that's all I'll say."

Dean nodded. If Castiel was saying the truth, that meant he was actually a good person underneath.

"If you're  _Darcy_ , then who am I?" Dean asked, his eyes following Castiel's body as he sat next to Dean in his make-shift bed.

Cas stopped to think for a few seconds. There was a dazzling smile in his lips when he answered.

"You're obviously  _Elizabeth_."

Dean looked away quickly.  _Oh My God! He knows I like him!_  Despite his internal overreaction, Dean heard as Castiel kept on speaking.

"You're obviously  _Elizabeth_  because you're oblivious to all the good things I do… You don't know that I can be a good person and you just think of me as a cruel person-"

"That's not true."

"What?"

"I said that's not true."

Castiel looked at Dean speechless for a couple of seconds.

"Yeah, maybe I think-thought- you're a cruel person in the past, but on the last couple of days you've been nothing but kind to me… And though that scares me, because I don't know what to make out of it, I know you can be a good person. I just don't- I think that-" Dean had always had trouble with his words; he knew that he had trouble expressing himself when he needed it the most. Dean huffed annoyed with himself. "You know what? It's true. I thought you were  _Wickham_. I thought you only liked to be known as a popular guy whom everyone loved. But you know what? I also think that you can be unpredictable as fuck. Every time I see you you're either very good to me, or you try to make me fear you, and that makes me scared to mark you as someone nice, because so far you've proven you'll kick me right after I think you're a somewhat decent guy."

Castiel kept on looking at Dean's face. He was trying to read the other teen but that was proving to be a difficult thing to obtain. He understood what Dean was saying. He was pretty much a dick to Dean, but that was understandable, Castiel was like that to everyone. He knew he should try harder to be a better friend and not let his wishes win whenever he felt like it was time to play with someone's feeling or their head.

"I'm sorry." He offered. "I just let my head speak louder than my heart. Whenever I'm near someone I like, my head tends to make me want to see how easily they will break and that makes me interested in them, I mean, if they're easy to break no, but if they're too easy –just like you were- that means there must be something going on, and I have this need to figure it out and try to help them… I just kinda want to figure out what I have to do before I show my bright side to them."

Dean was tired of talking about this. His head was too confused for such a serious talk.

"Can I ask you something?" Dean inquired. Upon Cas' nod, he continued. "Where are your parents? I've been here like twice today and I haven't seen them? Are they here?"

Cas shook his head and laughed.

"That's actually a funny story." He said. "They grew tired of our shit and gave us the house to ourselves and bought a house down the street for them. They may have mentioned we were pigs that don't do the laundry, don't clean the floor and don't know how to cook. Since then, we've been living in different places and we visit them all the time, but we still have our own place."

Dean didn't know if he found the situation funny or if he was too shocked with it to find it funny. His mouth was ajar and his eyes were wide open.

"You should close your mouth Dean." Cas said, a smirk coming to his features. "Don't make me close it for you."

Dean blinked a few times before actually closing his mouth. There was already a deep blush forming in his cheeks.

"So they just left this place all for yourselves?"

"Basically."

"And you guys don't have any adults here… Like ever?"

Cas looked towards the wall behind Dean.

"Not really, we still have dinners together like once a week or so."

"Oh… Wow. I never thought you guys lived here all by yourselves." Dean commented, feeling a bit uneasy. He was thinking how good it would have been if his father had decided to do the same, if he simply let them in one place and only visited every once in a while… That would be a dream coming true.

"It was weird at first, but now we're kinda used to it, ya know." Cas simply shrugged as if his situation was the most common out there.

No. Dean didn't know, but he felt knew that he would feel so much better if he was in a similar situation as Castiel.

"Yeah." He simply opted for the easy way out.

Some subtle steps on the stairs made both their heads turn. Gabriel was walking down the stairs and his head looked inside the room.

"Dean-o! Cassie! Good that you're both awake! I just wanted to let you know the Winchester boys are gunna be here with us for a while." Gabriel said walking inside the room.

Dean shook his head.

"No."

Gabe looked at him in shock.

"What do you mean 'No'? You can't…" He shut his mouth before he said something in front of his brother. "Sam said you guys were gunna stay here for a few days. Since your dad isn't home-"

Dean kept shaking his head.

"We can't. We have to take care of everything. He would  _kill_  us if we left the house just like that."

Gabriel huffed.

"I'm not having this conversation with you. Your brother's in my room, you should go talk to him and tell him that yourself. I don't want him to  _kill_   _me_  instead." Just like that he turned to Castiel. "So, Cassie! You missed dinner! Lemme get you something to eat! Come here, bro! Lemme make you an omelet! You know you love it when I cook for you!" He grabbed his brother's arm and dragged him towards the kitchen, all the while ignoring Cas' protests.

Dean sighed loudly and decided Gabriel was right. Sam should hear him first… There was no need to kill their ally just yet. Gabe could still be useful, but Sam would most likely kill the messenger and they didn't need that to happen.

Slowly, since his whole body ached, Dean got up and started walking towards the stairs. It took him a while to get to Gabriel's room –seriously! Why the hell do they even have so many stairs? - and enter the open door to see Sam sitting in Gabriel's bed, red all around his irises.

"Sammy" He called tentatively. "How are you?"

Sam looked at Dean, bewildered.

"You're asking  _me_  how I am?!" Sam asked, his voice rough from crying. "I'm the one who should be asking you that! God! Dean… How're you feeling?"

Dean looked at his own feet. He hated admitting just how damaged he was, and Sammy looked so sad already.

"Nothing I can't take." He answered with a wide smile and assumed a pose that he usually used when he was comfortable. The whole movement hurt like a bitch, but Dean was more than willing to take all that pain if it meant Sam would be happy. "We need to talk about something, Sam."

Sam nodded, he looked visibly calmer, but he still looked like he was in shock with the situation.

"Yeah. We gotta figure out when we can go home to get our thi-" Dean interrupted him as he was about to explain himself.

"We have to go back."

Short and simple. Dean didn't want to make a big speech about how they had to go back home.

"Wh-What?" Sam asked, shock being the main emotion in his face.

"We have to go back." Dean repeated. "You know it Sammy. He will be worse if we don't go, and he needs help… We can't just leave him there…"

As much as he knew he should just pack his things and leave, Dean always knew he would never be able to leave his father behind.

"How can you say that, Dean?" Sam asked with a huge frown. "After everything you're still sayin' that we gotta go back there and take care of him? What the hell Dean?!"

Sam was pissed. Dean could feel his rage radiating all over his body and all he could do was stand still and watch his brother kick all the things his feet could find.

"I know Sammy… But, it would be wrong to leave him…"

"What he does to you is wrong." Sam counter argued.

Dean huffed. He knew this was gunna be a hard fight; Sam would want to leave John and never look back. But in the end, Dean couldn't let go. John was always there telling him how to do things and he just didn't know how to live without it.

"Fine. You don't want to go? Stay here. But I'm going back there. He needs me Sammy… I can't just leave him there." Dean reasoned.

Sam groaned in frustration.

"Ugh. There's no chance in hell I'm going to let you go back there on your own. He would never leave you alone. If you're going back, I'll go with you. But remember that I do not agree with this one bit! I hate that you're making us go back there!" Sam voiced all his thoughts and sank in Gabriel's bed.

"I know, Sammy… I'm sorry, but I can't do it. I can't not be concerned if he's alright or no-"

"I know Dean. But we found something good here… Gabe is good for us, and he would let us stay here for as long as we needed… I hate that you want to go back there, but I'm not letting you go alone."

* * *

 

"Come on, Dean! You kick like a girl!" Benny joked, as he avoided another kick from Dean.

They were practicing kicks, and since Dean had mastered kicking the boxing bag, Benny set him to try and kick a moving target; Benny himself.

So far, Dean only managed to hit Benny once and it was only on the side, it was so light that Benny barely felt it at all.

"I wo-would…" Dean panted a light smirk on his face. "…kick you if I thought you could handle it."

Benny laughed and Dean tried to kick his gut, only Benny was fast enough to not only grab his leg but also turn it around.

"Quit joking, brother. You know that I can take five of you!"

"You wish." Dean set his foot free of Benny's reach and quickly switched his feet, so that he could kick with the other foot. Luckily for him, that caught Benny out of guard and he actually got to kick his teacher. Though he didn't get to kick his gut, he kicked Benny high on his chest, hard enough to make him stumble slightly.

"That was a good kick brother!" Benny laughed, his hand caressing the place Dean touched. The teen smiled, but there was something off. "That's it for today."

Dean let his posture down and suddenly became aware that he was avoiding almost every facial expression that would make his face hurt.

"Are you gunna tell me what happened to you?" Benny asked, turning away from Dean. "'Cause I know for sure that those bruises weren't there last time I saw you."

Dean hated lying. He hated that he had to hide the truth, especially to those who were so good to him, like Benny was.

"I was mugged. The guy was like a karate master or something." This time, he already knew that saying he had been mugged wasn't gunna stick. If Castiel knew he could fight, Benny was sure of it. "He kicked the shit out of me."

At least there was some truth in his words… John really did kick the shit out of him.

"You know what, Dean?" Benny asked, turning around to look at Dean again. "I know you enough to know when you're lying, and I wish you would just tell me what the hell is going on… Why are you always so damaged, kid? Who's the person behind this? I wanna help you, but you gotta take that first step and come clean about it."

"I wish it was so simple." Dean murmured. His eyes were on the floor; he was avoiding looking at Benny. He didn't want to see the disappointment in his friend's eyes. "It's nothing Benny… It was a stupid thing, and I don't want to talk about it."

Benny shook his head.

"Just like I told you before, you're the one who can make it better. When you're ready to talk, you come to me and tell me… Hell, if you don't want to come to me, go to someone else… But someone's hurting you and if that keeps going, you might get really, really hurt Dean. And ya know I don't like to see you hurt. You're an amazing kid, and I am proud of how far you've gone, but there's one more step you gotta take. Just admit you're not alright and ask for help… You already did it before, when you came to me to learn how to fight, but right now, Dean, you're in a battle and you need someone with you. You can't keep doing it alone."

Dean knew all those words were true. He wanted to tell Benny everything, but he just couldn't… Not when the consequences would be too great. Losing his dad to a facility wasn't his problem, John would be okay there. The risk of losing Sam to a foster home was what really scared him. He couldn't lose Sammy. Never Sammy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter might take a while to come too... I have to study for my math and portuguese finals, so sorry but I won't have much time to write. So I'm telling you in advance that it might take a while. The only things I had time to write were one-shot... I wrote: Perfect Realm, Purgatory Tales and Highschool AU, so if you guys want to check it out, you're free to do it ^w^  
> Thank you for reading!


	31. Give up a fight? Never!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: FEAR NOT, YOUR QUEEN IS STILL ALIVE! Hey guys! Sorry it's been so long since I last updated but it wasn't because I wanted. It happened because I had to focus on studying math and Portuguese (because I had exams AND I PASSED BOTH! :3), so I only had time to write this chapter two days ago and I finished it last night.
> 
> Anyway, I'm going away on vacation for a week so if I don't post anything please don't kill me. I hope you enjoy this chapter ^^
> 
> warnings: violence

Chapter 31 – Give up a fight? Never!

In four weeks' time, a lot of things could happen. During that time, Dean decided to really give Castiel a chance to show that he really wasn't that bad of a person. There was so much Dean wanted to understand about Castiel that the only way to understand them was to give him a chance.

At the beginning, Castiel tried to be a controlled version of himself; he would barely speak and he avoided asking questions.

"You gotta stop that Cas." Dean said after two days of spending time with the Novaks.

"Stop what?" He asked with a frown in his face as he tilted his head.

Dean groaned in frustration.

"Everything you're doing. I know you enough to know that this person you're trying to show is not you. And you know what? If you're gunna pretend you're something you're not than you can just stop trying. I wanna know you not this lame version of the real deal, ya know?"

Castiel nodded, mostly to himself.

"Sorry. It's just that I want to redeem myself to you. I was trying to do my best to keep you from being harmed and I didn't notice how much of what I was doing was being just as wrong." Castiel let his face fall, his eyes focused on the floor.

Dean huffed, Castiel was trying and that should be enough. Only it wasn't. Dean wanted to trust him, he wanted to give him a chance, but he was too afraid of being disappointed with what would come up. Dean needed a real proof that things could be different between them and that Castiel wasn't going to hurt him.

"It's fine." Dean said. He hated when Cas looked so down. That's the downside of having a crush on the person you are trying to see if they deserve your trust or not. "It's just… I just… I need you to let me see the real you. Stop trying so hard and just be yourself."

Cas' eyes searched for Dean's. Dean was looking directly into them and Cas smiled. Ever since the beginning of their interactions Dean would almost never look him in the eyes, yet there he was looking at his eyes without his stance even faltering.

"You should come over today," Cas said as they walked together.

"Sure. I'll grab Sam after school and we'll go to your place as soon as we can."

xXx

After that, Cas started being more like himself and they started hanging out together almost every day after school. Sometimes Dean and Sam would meet them at the house, other times Sam and Gabe were already at home when Dean and Cas finally got there –those days were mostly the ones where Dean had to work with Bobby at the garage, those days were the ones where Castiel would keep him company while he was under a car working his way through it.

Some days Gabriel and Sam would go out by themselves and Dean would be alone with Cas trying to get to know him better. But they would also do it the other way around; Cas and Dean would go out and Sam would stay at the house with Gabe. There were many times where they would simply hang out together, all of them. Balthazar would join them whenever he could manage and most of the times he would simply lay there and pretend to be bored because he was the 'only one who doesn't have a boyfriend'.

Dean was slowly letting himself trust Cas, but not completely… He needed to be sure nothing bad would come out of their new found friendship.

During the second week, when Sam finally got to the Novaks with Dean, Gabriel grabbed his arm and pulled him to his bedroom.

"Yo guys! I have something to show to Sam, Dean you should just hang out with Cassie for a while." He said with a smirk as he toed Sam up the stairs.

Neither Dean nor Cas gave it much importance, since they were already used to the routine of being alone with each other. The only thing Dean missed was hanging out with Charlie. They had been spending less time together, but Dean had a plan to make all three of them hang out one of these days.

As soon as they were inside Gabe's room, he clicked the door shut and threw Sam to the bed.

"Oh Sammy! You just wait and see! I found something so awesome!" Gabe said excitedly. "You have no idea how much I wanted to do this ever since I found it!"

Sam was torn between being amused and being scared. Gabriel simply started laughing his ass off while he was sitting there waiting to see what could be so awesome.

Gabriel brought his computer to life and started hunting down his folders until he found the right one. He smirked knowingly at Sam and his eyes went back the computer.

"Ah!" Gabriel shouted happily as he found the right file. "Just you wait and see! Eheh!"

Sam sighed, rolled his eyes and looked back at Gabriel expectantly.

The minute he heard a piano track, Gabriel started singing.

" _I've seen his face, I've heard his name. I've lost my place and he's to blame. And I can't stand it when I'm staring in his eyes, and he's not looking back it ain't a big surprise…_ "

Sam stared at Gabriel with wide eyes as he saw him singing, a huge smile in his face.

" _I've heard music, I've heard noise I wish that he could hear his voice the way that I do, when I go to sleep at night and dream my life away, but he's gone when I awake._ "

Is there a point in this? Sam thought to himself, trying to figure out why the hell Gabriel was singing a song to him.

The next split of a second, Gabriel's smile turned into a grin and he stepped further closer to Sam, knelling in front of him.

" _Sammy… Sammy… Why can't you see what you're doing to me…?_ "

Sam's wide went wide as he heard Gabriel sing his name. Was he doing it on purpose, or was it only because his name was already on the song?

" _The way his hair falls in his eyes, makes me wonder if he'll ever see through my disguise, I'm under his spell; everything is fallin', I don't know where to land; everyone knows who he is but he don't know who I am._ "

" _Sammy… Sammy… Why can't you see what you're doing to me…?_ "

Sam's wide eyes went back to their normal size as his expression softened and he looked at Gabriel softly, listening to Gabriel's voice that made him think of honey.

"I've see you singin' on that stage, looking like an angel and all I do is pray (that maybe) One day you'll hear my song and understand that all along there's something more that I'm trying to say, when I say…"

" _Sammy… Sammy… Why can't you see what you're doing to me…?_ "

" _Sammy… Ooh when I say Sammy… When I say… Why can't you see, what you're doing to me… What you're doing to me_ "

Gabriel kept on singing the song until it was over, his hands falling over Sam's and gripping them tight as his smile kept on place. The minute the song was over Gabriel pulled his arms around Sam and pulled him into a hug.

Once they broke free from the embrace, Gabriel smiled widely and look Sam's hand again.

"So, what did you think?"

"It was interesting… Did you change it to my name or was it already there?"

Gabe laughed.

"Actually, I changed it. The original song, which is amazing by the way, is sang to a girl whose name is Sami with one 'm' and one 'i'. I figured I should change the lyrics because that song… It says everything I feel about you Sammy." The amusement in his voice was gone and all that was left was honesty. "I care about you Sam, and when I first saw you, you looked like an angel and I thought I was never going to be able to make someone as beautiful and perfect as you to even look at me…"

Sam was at a loss of words. There was no way he knew how to answer that… No way at all. His eyes shifted to his lap and he inhaled softly. A few seconds later, his eyes focused back up on Gabriel's and his face started to shift closer to his boyfriend's.

The motion took Gabriel by surprise. Since the second Sam moved to kiss him softly in his lips, to the moment his face got away, Gabriel was stunned with Sam's initiative.

During the first few seconds, Gabriel had his eyes wide open. It only took a matter of seconds for him to relax and kiss Sam back. They kissed softly, their lips moving against each other and then it was over. Sam pulled back and when Gabriel opened his eyes once more Sam's cheeks were flustered all the way to his ears.

"Thank you." Sam muttered, his head falling towards Gabriel's right shoulder. "For singing it to me. I feel the same way about you, Gabe…"

xXx

Downstairs, Cas and Dean were discussing what they should do together that could involve Charlie. Being away from her is something that not only bothered him deeply but something he needed to get fixed soon.

"I'm telling you Cas… You can't live without having seen High School Musical!" Cas huffed desperately.

"Why do you insist on this Dean? We have so many other things we could be watching or doing… Why does it have to be a musical like that? I want to watch a movie with action!"

Dean rolled his eyes.

"But you're gunna love this movie! There's so much drama in it! And we gotta admit that everyone is really hot in this movie!"

Cas smirked.

"If I wanted to look at hot people I would just look at you, ya know?"

Dean was getting more and more used to the way Castiel talked, whenever Cas flirted with him or whenever he decided to be playful around Dean… But he wasn't completely used to it. A blush crept to his face and Dean didn't know exactly what to say.

"And besides, I don't want you getting a hard on while showing me movies."

Dean's blush intensified and Castiel's smirk widened. Dean didn't know what to say at all, so he went for the first thing that crossed his mind.

"I don't need to watch movies with you to get a hard on." His voice was only a note above a whisper.

Cas smiled darkly at him, a mix between pride and amusement.

"Ah, I'm such a good influence on you!" Cas said proudly. "But we should work on that wit of yours. I know you have it in you, we just gotta get you to break free from those chains that keep you from being who you should be!"

Dean rolled his eyes.

"I'll try harder if we watch this movie." Maybe if he insisted Cas would finally accept it and shut up.

"Yeah, that's exactly what we need here Dean. You gotta go harder if you want to get some results!" He said, while winking suggestively and licking his lips as if to prove his point.

"Seriously Cas, that's the best you can do?" Dean asked with a poker face. "I was expecting a bit more of your oh so amazing comebacks!"

It was Cas' turn to roll his eyes.

"Shut up… You love me!"

"As long as you believe it Cas…" Dean countered, stealing Cas' smirk to answer his provocation.

Cas' face looked like it was about to counter argue with him, but no words came out of his mouth. He opened and shut it quickly and eventually gave up with a loud huff.

"Now, are we gonna watch the movie or what?" Dean asked with a very pleased smile.

"Fine… Let's watch your damn movie!"

Dean nodded and grabbed his phone from his pocket.

"Alright, let me just text Charlie that she can get inside."

Cas frowned at him.

"Is Charlie coming over?"

The sound of the door opening was a loud yell from Charlie was enough answer for him.

"Jesus fuck! This place is awesome!" Charlie said as she searched her way into the living room. "I knew you said this place looked like a magazine, Dean, but this even better! Can I live here?" She asked as she ungracefully sat herself on the couch and placed her feet on the coffee table in front of it.

Castiel looked between her and Dean.

"When were you going to mention she was coming to watch the movie with us?" Dean looked at him like a child pretending it wasn't their fault.

"I didn't mention it? Oops, sorry… Charlie is gunna watch the movie with us." He said and placed his arm behind Charlie's shoulders. "So how are you Charlie?"

"Alright fine she can watch it with us… But don't except me to hold back my sarcasm…" Cas said, trying to get a reaction out of Dean.

Dean simply laughed.

"Prepare yourself Cas, you're about to learn what sarcasm really looks like! Charlie here can make a sailor blush!" He managed to say between laughs. "Don't go too hard on him Charlie… We might shock him!"

Castiel frowned, not really sure if Dean was joking or not, but from the way Charlie nodded at Dean's statement, he was inclined to think he was being serious.

"Damn right I can try to be less aggressive if your friend over here is a sensitive kind of person!" She replied with an expression between a smirk and a grin.

Dean snorted.

"I don't think you can do it…"

Charlie mimicked Dean.

"I can do whatever the hell I want. Now let's watch this freaking movie because I want to see Ashley Tisdale being a freaking hot Sharpay!"

Whenever Charlie got excited she started commanding everyone around and those who were used to her behavior knew not to oppose to them.

"Yes ma'am! High School Musical is coming right up!" Dean replied, while getting out of his place in the sofa to put the DVD on the player.

When everything was ready, Dean sat back on the couch and noticed Castiel was sitting by the edge of the couch as if he were afraid of Charlie.

"Come on Cas, she's not gunna bite you."

Castiel rolled his eyes.

"Oh I know that, but I don't want to risk it." He mumbled through clenched teeth. He knew why Anna and Charlie broke up and he was genuinely afraid of her being so mad at him she would kill him. He looked at Charlie who was carefully avoiding looking at him, he knew what he needed to do and he wanted to make things right. "It's my fault you know…"

"Ugh?" Charlie mouthed looking at him inquisitively.

"Anna... I told her some stuff and she didn't know how to react, and I suggested her to repay me with a blowjob." Cas silenced himself trying to find a way to make it up to both Anna and Charlie. "She couldn't do it… And I didn't insist it. She only pulled me into her mouth only to stop a few seconds later… She said it was too weird for her and I agreed. We used to be friends, and having her do that for me again was as bad as the first time all those years ago." Cas had been looking at his hands during the whole thing, and when he reached his last words he looked towards Charlie's eyes. "I'm sorry… I should have never suggested it. And I'm really sorry it made you both unhappy. I saw Anna the other days and she was so sad… I hate it when she is sad."

Charlie stopped him.

"Stop." She grabbed his arm and Castiel was ready to fly away if the situation indicated to her being about to hurt him. "As long as you regret it, I won't be mad. As long as you realized how wrong it was, it's… Well… it's not fine, but it could be worse… Thank you for telling me that, Castiel."

xXx

When Cas joined him at the garage, he would sit around and pass Dean his tools and there were some brief moments in which Castiel and Bobby would get themselves in a discussion about Latin, which turned out to be a language they both spoke –of course Bobby was way better than him, since he had had more time to learn it than Castiel did, but they could still get into heated arguments about which author was better or which word was better for some situations.

xXx

After that day with Charlie in the Novak's household, things got a tad bit better. Charlie would join them more often, though she still wasn't a hundred percent sure if they should trust Cas or not. They ended up watching movies together more often than not, especially whenever one of them was bored.

They had agreed they would all watch Harry Potter together, and as soon as they told their brothers, Sam smiled like a fool because he just loved Harry Potter. Balthazar didn't act much on it, but everyone could see how enthusiastic he was with the news. Gabriel of course wanted to be with Sam, so he agreed to it, too.

"Great! I'll come with the next movies some other day, but let's sit for now." Charlie said as she took the first movie from her school bag.

Everyone enjoyed the movie, and Dean made sure to pay attention to Cas' reactions. He just wanted to make sure he was enjoying the movie properly. All of those little reactions were there and that left Dean satisfied.

xXx

During the day, everything was fine. What wasn't fine was when the Winchester boys got their stuff and went back to their house.

John seemed to be waiting for them every day and he always found a reason to yell at them.

Dean was so used to having John yelling at him as soon as he stepped inside that he lowered his head and just let his father scream at them.

"You're a fucking piece of shit, Dean! Where the hell were you?" John yelled.

Dean knew better than not to answer.

"I was working at Bobby's." He muttered loud enough for his father to listen.

"What did you say? You can't even speak up! You're fucking disgusting! I am disgusted of thinking you're my son! You good for nothing piece of trash!" John yelled, his face as close to Dean's left ear as he possible.

"I'm sorry…" Dean said, a bit louder than before.

"Oh, you're sorry? You should have fucking thought about it before you fucking pissed me off." John's eyes were hard on him, though he couldn't stand without leaning onto Dean without falling to the floor.

John raised his hand and hit Dean's face.

"You're worse than a fucking girl." John yelled with hatred. "Even trash is fucking better than you."

Dean's body was shivering and he could feel tears forming in his eyes. He hated when John was this drunk that the only thing he could remember was how much he hated Dean. Even with that, Dean's body was set in front of Sam's, trying to protect him from anything John could do.

Suddenly, John felt brave and kicking Dean's stomach, sending him to the floor. John stumbled to catch himself and when he felt somewhat stable, he resumed kicking Dean and calling him every name he could think of –which was rather limited since he was as drunk as one can be.

Whenever John acted violently –which was almost every day– Sam would step in and try to calm John down.

"Come on, dad!" Sam always said, trying to grab his father's arms and bringing him to the couch.

"Sammy!" John would say, as if that was the first time he realized Sam was there too. "Did you see your good for nothing piece of shit brother?"

Dean hated it. He hated everything about feeling so down, but he couldn't help submitting to his father's hits and blows. He just took everything until Sam stepped in and saved him. Dean wanted to be stronger. Stronger enough to make him the one who could protect his brother, but Dean just couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to hit John back.

Sam usually tried to shift John's attention to something else, so he would leave Dean alone. When he was done with John, usually when he passed out on the couch, Sam would help him get up.

"Come one Dean… We're not staying here." And so they walked back to the Novak's to stay the night.

Gabriel was more than happy that they were both leaving their house and he always tried to make them simply stay with him.

"If you don't leave my place, you get to stay away from him…" He always tried to persuade them, but Dean just couldn't.

"I can't leave him there alone…"

Gabriel rolled his eyes.

"As if he would be this concerned with you."

The words stung, but Dean knew they were true. Still, he couldn't do it. He couldn't abandon his father.

More often than not, Castiel would bring Dean to his room and get him to sleep there.

"Dean, you can't just keep sleeping on the couch!" He reasoned.

"That couch is like heaven! I can sleep there much better than…" He couldn't bring himself to finish that sentence. His bed was bad, it made his back hurt but it was his. This couch was so much better than his bed and he didn't mind sleeping there.

"Come on, Dean!" Cas said grabbing Dean's arm and towing him towards his room.

Castiel's bedroom was nice, the walls were painted in a soft color, since it was so poorly lit, Dean's wasn't sure if it was a soft yellow or another soft color. There wasn't much in his walls, only two pictures of the three brothers together, it was more for comparison than anything else, one of the pictures was from before the accident, and the second could only have a few weeks, since Cas had his hair dyed and he was actually smiling to the camera. Cas' bed was big enough for two people, but Dean could see there was a spare mattress on the side of his bed. There was a desk just beside Cas' window.

"I was thinking you could sleep here, Dean…" Cas said, sounding somewhat shy for the first time. "You shouldn't have to sleep in the couch when there are better options." He was trying to make Dean think he was only thinking rationally, when both of them knew that wasn't true.

Dean wasn't exactly comfortable at saying yes and sleeping in the same room as Castiel, but he also didn't want to refuse. Cas was being nice and trying to help him out.

"Okay." Dean agreed slowly.

Castiel smiled brightly and grabbed Dean a pillow and a blanket so he could sleep with something more than those soft sheets.

Dean was almost asleep when Castiel spoke.

"I'm not stupid, you know…"

"What do you mean?"

"Your excuses are starting to end… I won't do anything until you tell me what's going on for sure, but you should know… I can add two plus two. You leave in the afternoon, and you come back here at night with a new bruise. Dean you can't let this happen to you." Dean could sense the concern in Cas' voice.

"I'm fine."

Cas snorted.

"You're all but fine, Dean!" His voice was set between amused and mad. "You can't see it, but whenever you get here you look like you're about to both cry and kill someone… There's something off at your place and don't you even dare trying to deny it! I know someone is hurting you, and that someone lives with you. So, you could just tell me what's wrong. I can help you fix it."

Despite Cas' words, Dean couldn't.

"I can't." He whispered, his voice trembling. "I can't." Dean hated how broken he sounded, but he couldn't stop himself from starting to cry.

Castiel was fast to react. He got himself to Dean's mattress and snuck under the sheets and pulled Dean into him.

"I'm sorry Dean." He whispered, his hand stroking Dean's back.

Dean couldn't help himself from grabbing Castiel towards him, his tears soaking Cas' pajama shirt.

"I'm so-sorry." He said. "I ca-can't tell you."

"I would say that it's okay, but Dean… We both know it's all but okay. You can tell me whenever you're ready to admit what's going on."

Dean snuggled closer to Castiel and fisted his shirt. He kept crying until he had no more tears and his eyes felt heavy.

"I'm sorry." He whispered brokenly. "I didn't mean to ruin your night like this."

Cas chuckled.

"Don't worry about it. Just be sure to tell me what's going on when you are ready; because believe it or not I just want to help you, Dean."

Despite the honesty in Castiel's words, Dean wasn't very attentive. His body was snuggled up close to Cas and his head was resting in Cas' chest.

"G'night, Cas." Dean whispered, practically sleeping already.

"Good night, Dean." He whispered back letting himself rest against Dean's warm body.

And so every day was spent with the Novaks and almost every night was too.

The next morning came and when Dean woke up, he had to run from Castiel's bedroom to the bathroom because his face was as red as a tomato, his heart was racing and he just couldn't have picked a better time to wake up with a boner.

It took him some good ten minutes under the cold water of the shower to finally let himself cool down and relax.

Despite all those efforts, everything went down to the flush when Castiel blinked at him sleepily in the morning, whispering in his low voice –even lower thanks to being thick with sleep– a "Good morning, Dean" that made Dean tremble to his very core.

 _Good God, please save me from any embarrassment._  Dean thought, trying to will away his new forming erection.

xXx

Everything was going as bad as usual, when the ball finally dropped completely.

Dean and Sam arrived home late, even more than they were starting to show up lately, and John was up in their way as soon as they touched the doorknob.

"Where the fuck were you?" John started. "Why the fuck do you even let your brother walk out fucking side at this fucking time of the night boy?" With his brows creased, he stumped towards his sons.

Dean swallowed thickly in his own saliva, trying not to panic.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"I though you already knew this, Deanna: Better be fucking safe than sorry!" He yelled in Dean's ears. "You're a good for nothing piece of shit!" He spit his last words in Dean's face.

The first hit was against Dean's already thoroughly bruised chest, his legs were next and all Dean did was try to protect both his brother and his face.

"You think you can hide that pretty face from me, don't you Deanna?" He spit, his voice full of sarcasm and anger.

Dean's face went as pale as it could when John started taking his belt off. He could take with everything else, but the belt was the thing that hurt the most and made him blind with pain.

John was more than ready to use the belt as a crop, his body was already in motion when Sam jumped in front of Dean, and the blow hit him instead.

Sam hissed in pain as he doubled himself over his arm, trying to protect it from receiving another blow. Tears started prickling in his eyes when Dean sat him down, gave him a feather light kiss on the wound –just like he would do when they were younger and muttered "I kissed the pain away, so now it doesn't hurt, right?"– He got himself in front of John and stared at him with disgust.

"You're a monster." Sam whispered so low only himself could listen, though the words were directed at John.

John tried to hit Dean again, and this time he hit him, full of force on his stomach. As Dean fell to the floor he opened his mouth like a fish to scream in pain, as this blow had been much harder than the one Sam took, but no sound came out of it.

"You're a fucking idiot who can't even FUCKING DO ANYTHING RIGHT!" John yells, throwing the belt away towards the couch after one more hit on Dean's stomach. "WHY DON'T YOU JUST FUCKING DIE ALREADY?"

Dean could feel his father's rage in every kick he received, in every word he said. And above that, he could feel his own rage bubbling inside of him.

After a while, John backed away, he went towards the kitchen and Dean let himself relax momentarily. They were so going back to the Novak's tonight.

What he wasn't expecting was for John to come back with a knife in his hands.

"Since you can't fucking do it yourself, I'LL DO IT FOR YA, YA LITTLE BITCH!" John tried to stab Dean with the knife and all he could do was roll over on the floor to avoid the blade.

John managed to kick Dean a few more times, one of them he even managed to still Dean's body under his foot. He was about to stab Dean with the kitchen blade when Sam kicked it away from John's hand.

John looked at Sam with rage.

"Why did you do that for, boy?" He asked, his voice starting to sound like a low growl rather than something human. "I'm about to do all of us a fucking favor!"

Sam shook his head and placed himself in front of Dean.

"You can't do that. He deserves so much better than this." Sam's voice was also starting to sound enraged and that only meant one thing… Defiance.

"Shut your fucking mouth, Sam." John warned, his face shifting with anger.

"No." Sam replied, his voice full of strength.

"You fucking asked for it." John snarled as he hit Sam's face.

The moment John's hand hit Sam, two sounds could be heard: the well-known sound of a slap and Dean's heart breaking. He felt so terrible for having to listen to his baby brother being treated this way… None of it was his fault; none of it should be brought back to him… Dean finally felt a motion of rage cross his body and he did what he should have done a long time ago.

Dean got up and focused on his after-school lessons with Benny, he positioned himself in the best position to defend himself while also being able to attack.

"You're fucking going to fight me?!" John asked laughing at Dean's face. "You're fucking USELESS!"

John's screams were what kept Dean somewhat calm, listening to something he was so used to was easier to get him to focus. He managed to stay put until John attacked.

He threw his fist towards Dean's stomach and Dean slapped it away with his left hand. John's drunken state helped Dean to stay still, even if his stomach hurt like hell.

"AHH!" John screamed frustrated.

Dean said nothing; he kept in position, ready to defend himself and Sam. Before he could start hitting John, he needed to figure out what would be the best way to bring him to the floor. After a few tries, John finally managed to hit Dean's shoulder, making the boy stumble slightly to regain balance.

"Your fucking gunna 'egret evah being born Deanna." John slurs, his words getting mixed together, both from the fight and the quantity of drinks he had before. "Imma kill you."

Dean knew better than to react to those words, he had been hearing them for years, but there was something in John's face that told him he would do it given the chance. But Dean was absolutely not gunna let that happen, letting John kill him would mean that Sammy would be alone and that's the last thing Dean wanted.

For the first think Dean did was start attacking, John wasn't prepared from it, since he was bitching and moaning about Dean to notice Dean's swift movement. His leg hit John's from behind and the other man lost balance, his knees falling to the floor.

"Ya fuckin' bitch!" John yelled at the top of his lungs.

Dean didn't even shiver at John's loud voice; he took a deep breath and prepared himself for what was coming next. Thankfully for him, during the last four weeks, he and Benny started covering how to keep the attacker on the floor, and giving his best to knock the person unconscious. Dean got his legs a safe distance from each other, almost in front of each of John's shoulders, about eleven inches apart from John's body. His hand blew a punch on John's right cheek, since the man was still noticing that he was the one getting hit and not the one hitting.

The second time Dean tried to hit his father, John reacted. He grabbed Dean's closed fist in one hand and turned his arm around. With his other hand, John made grabbed his son's left leg and pulled it towards himself, making Dean fall, his head almost hitting the floor hadn't he had time to use this free hand to lighten the fall.

Dean's free foot started kicking John's chest, arms, face; whatever they reached, he hit. John didn't let go of Dean's arm until he managed to pull Dean closer to himself. He placed Dean's arm around his son's back, so he had no way to free himself without John noticing; in other words, Dean was screwed.

This was probably the only thing Benny hadn't taught him yet… Dean managed to keep a cool head and to think before doing something reckless.

Dean's hand was pressed close against John's penis. What a great coincidence, Dean thought to himself. Dean waited for the moment John grabbed his neck for close his hand around John's most sensible area. Being as drunk as he was, John howled in pain as Dean twisted his hand, therefor also twisting John. John immediately let go of Dean and Dean rolled himself away from John.

Adrenaline was running through Dean's system so fast that he wasn't even scowling in pain.

John let himself recuperate slowly, but when he was back to his feet, he managed to grab Dean's throat and started chocking his eldest son. Dean tried to free himself, but John was an arm away from Dean's reach and the only thing that could touch John were his legs. Dean tried to kick himself free but John managed to keep himself steady, his hands tightening around Dean, making the boy lose air and not be able to catch it back to his lungs.

John shifted their places and Dean noticed that Sam wasn't where he had put him, near the corner of the doorway with their entrance cabinet. Instead, Sam was standing behind John and he had a pan in his hands; he used it to bang against John's head with as much force as he could. The bang wasn't hard enough to knock John unconscious on the floor, but it made him frown. Sam kept hitting John as hard as he could, wherever he could and eventually, John let go of an almost unconscious Dean that was battling to keep both his breath and his eyes open.

Slowly John turned around just in time for Sam to hit him with the pan in his nose. John fell to the floor and Sam never stopped hammering with the pan, only interrupting the motion to kick John wherever he could reach, though it was mostly John's chest. It took a long time for Sam to stop hitting John, and he only did so when John stopped slurring words and Dean's wheezes for breath were heard.

Throughout the whole fight, both John and Dean cursed and yelled in pain. The sounds of feet kicking someone and their gasps for breath…. The way everything stopped except for Dean's very heavy breathing pattern made Sam worry and immediately he hit John one last time, letting the pan fall in John's bruised face.

Sam ran towards Dean, his eyes were as open as he could, which was almost nothing; he looked as if he was about to step into a deep sleep, but wasn't quite there yet. Dean's face was bruised, both eyes forming black rings around them, his inferior lip was swollen and so was Dean's right cheek.

"Oh, my God." Sam muttered, grabbing Dean's arms and pulling him near himself.

Before doing anything else, Sam scrubbed as best as he could Dean's wounds though they still looked as bad as before.

"Let's get out of this place." Sam said, loathing in his voice.

xXx

It took them about an hour to reach the Novak's. Sam had to stop along the way to rest, because carrying Dean was hard and Sam was tired from the fight too. He managed to keep Dean awake; they talked about anything that crossed Sam's mind, though Dean's answers were short and his voice sounded as raw as it could go.

"We're almost there, Dean…" By this point, Sam was carrying Dean bridal stile, mostly because Sam was afraid Dean would fall backwards if he was in Sam's back. Dean's face was against Sam's right shoulder, his left arm on top of his belly and the right one swayed with each footstep Sam took.

As they reached the Novak's, Sam used his voice to call Gabriel. Sam couldn't hold it together anymore, Dean wasn't answering anymore and he was afraid Dean would never wake up again.

"GABE! GA-GABE P-PLEASE…" His voice failed him as he shouted for help.

It took five seconds until Sam heard the loud thumping of feet on wood and a loud bang as someone jumped the last 5 stair steps. The door swung open and Gabriel gasped, both from running down the stair and from the sight in front of him.

"Ga-Gabe…" Sam called, making the other boy look him in the eyes. "He-help me…" There were tears in his eyes, and he couldn't keep holding Dean for much longer; he was too drained.

"Oh God…" Gabriel said as he rushed forward to take Dean from Sam's exhausted arms. "Sam… What happened to your face?"

"Wh-what?" Sam asked, his voice shaking almost as hard as his body.

"Your eye… You have a black eye." Gabriel said carefully.

Sam raised his hand and touched his face; he felt pain as he touched his left eye.

"He must have hit me the first time around."

"Come on, let's get you inside… Cassie still has that mattress in his room and we need to put Dean down."

Castiel was walking down the stairs, when he saw them.

"Hey Gabe, is it just me or Sam's outsi-?" Cas stopped dead in his tracks as he saw Gabriel carrying an unconscious Dean in his arms. "Dean…"

Castiel rushed towards the older Winchester and grabbed his feet, carrying some of his weight himself. Both Novaks carried Dean to Castiel's room and Cas convinced them that Dean should stay in the bed instead of the mattress. As they laid Dean down, Gabriel rushed to Sam who was crying and hugged the younger boy.

"Shhh…" Gabe tried to calm Sam down, but the boy just couldn't stop. "Shhh… Dean's gunna be fine… He just needs to sleep." His hands started caressing Sam's back, patting him on the shoulder and pulling him closer every once in a while.

"I-it's my f-fault" Sam muttered against Gabriel's now mostly wet t-shirt. "I sh-should hav-have told Dean to le-let it go… But he-he just jum-jumped in front of-of me and sav-saved me."

Gabe shook his head in disbelief.

"None of it is your fault, Sammy…" He whispered to Sam's ear while kissing the top of his head. "He knew what he was getting himself into… And I'm not saying it was his fault… But he already knew what was gunna come out of it. Okay? It wasn't your fault."

Sam tried to calm down, even if it was only one bit.

"Okay." He sniffled, but he wasn't fully convinced.

In Castiel's room, Cas was sitting in the edge of the bed, trying to decide what he should do. Should he let Dean rest or should he try to bring him into consciousness? It seemed like waking Dean up was the best thing to do… But Dean probably needed to rest; he looked way too tired to be awake. Cas could already see the marks starting to form in Dean's neck and there was no way they were anything other than the imprints of hands.

"Son of a bitch," Cas muttered. "If only you would tell me what he does to you…"


	32. Confirmation - Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was taking too long to end writing the chapter, so I thought I should at least give this bit to you guys now ^^  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

"Ugh" Charlie scowled. She was pacing down the hallway to the bathroom. Step, step, step, step, step, step, step, bedroom, turn around, step, step, step, step, step, step, step, bathroom, and repeat.

Worrying about her best friend was taking her a long time to decide what to do. Ever since she talked to Castiel, she had been a bit better, not thinking so much about how much it hurt to see Anna suck Castiel off or just how bad Dean's situation was. Seeing how Dean was starting to get new friends was good; for a long time, she worried he wouldn't have anyone by his side except for herself and Sam, but things were changing.

_**Bip-bip.** _

Her phone shook on her jeans and she took it out. This was it, the moment she had been waiting for.

"I'm really sorry… Castiel and I go way back and it was never my intention to hurt you."

It took a few seconds for Charlie to decide what she was going to reply.

"I know… I talked to him. He said you're sad."

As soon as the message was sent, Charlie wanted to delete it and re-write it. Why did she have to say that? Why did she have to say she talked with Cas? What if-

**_Bip-bip._ **

The second the phone biped again, she was unlocking the screen and reading Anna's reply.

"I'm sorry I hurt you, Char… I never meant for it to happen… I just hurt him, and I wanted to make it better."

Anna was always like this, she always wanted to help, and make things better. Sometimes it all worked out fine… As for the rest of the time, things went down and she never managed to make peace with herself and the others involved.

"I know you did…"

_I miss you_

She wanted to add the words to the text, but Charlie couldn't do it. What if she was the only one who felt that way? It was too risky to say it, she could get hurt again.

She pressed send and a few seconds later, she had an incoming call.

_**INCOME CALL – ANNA** _

After dwelling with herself for a few seconds, Charlie answered.

"Hey." It was lame, answering your ex-girlfriend with a simple 'hey' but what else could she say?

"Hey." Anna spoke in a small voice, it sounded so weak and yet it sounded so strong.

The few minutes of silence we had were both awkward and a relief; they hadn't talked in so long that even minutes of awkward silence were a blessing.

Anna sighed on the other side of the line.

"I miss you…" She whispered, Charlie's heart was hammering against the ribcage, even if Anna wasn't presently there, those three words made her heart beat faster.

After a debating with herself for about ten seconds, Charlie replied.

"Miss you too…" It was so hard not to have Anna beside her now; Charlie wanted to hug Anna, even if it still hurt that she had agreed with Cas' idea.

"I'm sorry…" Anna choked out. "I'm so sorry, Charlie." Even in a phone call, Charlie new Anna was crying; her breath was labored, coming out in puffs and her voice sounded way too drained for her not to be crying.

Charlie couldn't make herself not care, she was still in love with Anna and there was nothing that Anna could do that would change that, Anna was incredibly vulnerable and Charlie wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around her and sooth her back so that she would stop crying and calm down.

"Shhh…" Charlie tried to calm her as best as she could from the other side of the phone. "I know, baby. I know. I know you didn't mean to hurt me… Shh, its gunna be okay."

Anna kept on crying for a while longer, Charlie's voice getting her to calm more and more with each word. When the distraught redhead finally calmed down enough, she thanked Charlie.

"I'm sorry… I didn't mean to cry either. Thank you for calming me down… Char..." She wasn't sure if she should say what she wanted to; it could be too much right now and Anna didn't want that.

"Just say it, Anna" Charlie obliged, feeling the way Anna's voice was still trembling and unsure. "Whatever it is, just say it."

Anna stumbled on her words for a few seconds, not knowing where to start or even if she should say it.

"I- You- Hmmm… I-" Anna took a deep breath before trying to speak again. "I wanted to know if you will ever be able to forgive me."

The words her ex-girlfriend said were the ones Charlie hoped wouldn't be said. Of course she wanted to forgive Anna and hop on a unicorn and go on to their little paradise once more, but seeing Anna and Castiel in her mind hurt as much as it had live.

"Anna…" Charlie whispered and she swore the other understood what she was going to say in that moment. "As much as I love you, I can't forgive you yet. The wound is still too fresh, I can't do it yet."

"I understand." Anna said sheepishly.

Charlie sighed.

"I didn't say I would never forgive you. I just need some time. When I went over to Cas' place the other day I saw he's a kinda cool guy, and with time I will probably become good friends with him. But that takes time. And so does forgiving you. Look, I'm not mad at you… Not anymore, at least… And I know I will forgive you and get back together with you one day… Just…"

"…Not yet." Anna finished Charlie's speech. "Okay, I understand. Thank you for listening to me, Char."

Charlie smiled shortly.

"You're welcome."

"When Cassie told you, did he say why I did it?" Anna asked. If she wanted Charlie to understand, she better know what she knew… and if that wasn't everything, then she would tell her.

Charlie frowned.

"He said he asked you to do it because you were sort of overwhelmed with something…"

"Well, you better sit down, Char… I got something to tell you."

Slightly afraid of what Anna was going to tell her, Charlie obeys and so Anna begins the tale. As the story went on, Charlie's face paled enough that she could be compared to the white wall behind her.

"So, you're saying Castiel became popular and a shitty-ass kid to help you?"

Anna scoffed on the other side of the phone.

"Help? No-no. Cassie saved me. I would have been raped by those guys if it wasn't for him!"

"I know, I know… I just don't know how to feel. I see now why you tried to give him a blowjob, but Anna, you can't just go on and give blowjobs to people when you want to show gratitude, us mortals do something like going out for dinner or buying them a present… You know, reasonable things to show we appreciate what they did for us."

Anna sighed. She should have remembered that… But it had been the heat of the moment and she couldn't get herself to stop what she was doing…

"I'm sorry…" She mumbled, ashamed of her actions and lack of better judgment. "Promise me you won't breathe a word of this to Cassie or your friend Dean… Please, if Cassie wants to tell you he will and he will try to hide this from Dean for as long as he can. I know he has a thing for Dean, I can see it in the way he looks at him… Cassie even told me he wants to protect Dean just like he did to me… He wants to save Dean. But what does he want to save him from?"

It took a while for Charlie to get a hold of herself once more. She shook her head and tried to reason with herself. Castiel was proving he wasn't a fool, that he wasn't the kind of douchebag who would hurt people just to be mean… There was something about him that made Charlie's heart ache, but at the same time she wanted to be mad. She wanted to grab Castiel's neck and shake him for a bit, if only to let him know she didn't agree with what he did. Castiel should have thought his plan through, that he would someday became what he was trying to protect others from… No-one ever survived when they tried to fight for what they believed in, they would just forget themselves and become what they hated most.

Even though she had all of those things in her mind, Charlie managed to agree with Anna on not telling either Dean or Castiel that she knew.

"Yeah, I promise Anna. I can't tell you what Cas wants to save Dean from… Dean doesn't want people to know and Cas sure as hell doesn't know what exactly is going on."

Anna seemed to accept Charlie's response and they hung up the phone.

**

Since Christmas was coming up, Charlie decided she wanted to get her Christmas presents done soon. Walking around the mall searching for presents for her friends and family was hard. She knew what they all liked, but what if it was too much?

A tech store was the first place she stopped. She wandered around, looking at their display section until she saw a computer. She knew Dean wanted to buy one for himself and Sam, and she also knew it was still a long way from it actually happening. Being secretly rich was a bad thing that time. She had all the possibilities to buy them a laptop but they would never accept it since it was too expensive.

"Ugh." She let out a sigh as she kept looking.

The phone's section was filled with bright colors, showing the new iPhone cases in the market and some new touch screen phones. That was another thing she wanted to buy. Dean bought a cell phone for himself; it was a second hand phone, one that nowadays would be called an old model. But the point stood, Dean had a cell phone and he wanted to give one to Sam too. As Sam was always the priority (except when he bought the cell phone for himself), Dean hardly had one thing he bought for himself. Charlie wanted to help them by offering it to them. Giving both Sam and Dean new phones would be a good thing, that way Dean could have a new model, a phone that at least was an android instead of the old Motorola he bought for himself.

There was always a way to give an expensive gift to Dean, putting it in the mail and saying it was some kind of reward for being a great student… But would Dean fall for it? Probably not… Suddenly, Charlie got an idea… Yeah… Faking a contest to win a computer and a brand new phone could work! There was the added challenge to make the contest look real, creating a website for it and making the rules and having Dean submit his application, but the prize would go to Dean either way, so that was a good thing.

Happily she sighed and started looking around for a good phone for Sam (because obviously that was what Dean would do to it). Once she settled on a good brand (although it wasn't one that people knew very well) Charlie went back to the laptop section and started looking through information about CPUs and which brand was better… Since most programs were easier to navigate on Windows, Charlie ended up choosing a good Toshiba for her friends.

Paying was not a problem, the only problem was waiting in line for half an hour as the client who was paying decided to stop cooperating and started asking all kinds of questions about the cashier's credibility and the manager had to be called.

Once she was done with Dean and Sam's main presents, she looked around to give them something symbolic, something they actually knew it was from her.

On her way to a store, Charlie saw a lovely cardigan that she was sure her mother would love. Charlie went inside and found the perfect size for her mother and made sure to find a small ring that would go with it. Once the cashier wished her goodbye, Charlie resumed her search for Dean and Sam's gifts.

Finding a good book for Sam was easy, what was harder was getting something for Dean.

Whenever he was asked what he wanted, the answer always came the same way, _"I don't need anything… But Sam would love…_ " he said.

Charlie wandered around the mall long enough to walk it through two times. She was nearing the third round when she noticed a small shop. The shop's walls were black, giving it a dark semblance. It was about then she noticed it was called _Colt_ ; Charlie couldn't help but wonder if she was going to find guns inside. It was a surprise to see the shop was actually one of those stores that sell handmade stuff; there were rings that looked like silver -but Charlie was sure they were only metallic rings-, wood figurines and some very neat looking necklaces.

The woman working on the store looked bored, as if she didn't have many people walking inside the store. She walked over to Charlie.

"Hey!" She said happily. "Welcome to Colt! Here you can find all sorts of handmade things."

"Thanks." Charlie was a bit lost, not ever had she been greeted this happily when she got inside a store before.

"Can I help you choose anything?" She asked as she crowded Charlie's space.

Charlie wasn't sure what to give Dean yet… There were only two more presents she needed to buy –excluding Dean's- and that meant looking for something for her dad and Anna.

"I'm not sure what you sell yet, but I'll look around." Charlie answered, not really wanting to send away the woman, but still wanting to be able to choose something by herself.

"Whatever you need, I'm here!" The shop assistant said happily as she walked back to her spot behind the counter.

Charlie looked around all the shelves and desks full of things. She noticed a medium sized wood figurine of an Angel; it was painted with black hair and black wings. The only details of the image were those, everything looked like a blank canvas waiting to be filled. She grabbed it and started shifting it to see every angle and shape the figurine had to offer.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" The shop assistant questioned. "Such strong detail of its hair and feathers, and yet nothing to show how the face is; we can picture whomever we want there."

"It really is." Charlie responded.

She kept looking around the store, the wood figurine still in her hand. It was about that time she saw one more thing that caught her attention. There was a section of the store that held only odd objects, car plates that she could personalize stop signs…

Between many other things, Charlie noticed there was a miniature of _High School Musical_ 's background of Breaking Free and Bop to the Top, the one with the ladder, the moon and the stars.

After an internal debate with herself, she was set on asking the question she had in mind.

"Are you really going to tell me you're selling a miniature of a _High School Musical_ setting?"

The girl laughed, her face blissed with joy, man she must really be bored all day long in that shop.

"That was made as a joke, we were drunk; I suggested it and the next morning we had the project halfway done… Hannah finished it and we put it here. It's been here for like five months and no-one ever noticed it." She sighed happily at the memory. "And yeah, to answer your question, we really are selling it."

Charlie beamed.

"Awesome! 'Cause I'm about to buy it!"

There was nothing she could have seen around that would be better. Dean loved High School Musical, he was obviously going to pretend he didn't care about it, but like hell he wouldn't love this as well!

Charlie went to pay and handed both the figurine –there was something about it, she wasn't sure what, that made her buy it- and the _HSM_ setting.

Once the gift was wrapped, the girl made sure to accompany her to the door.

"And make sure to visit more often!" She waved as Charlie went back to her life, trying to find something for her dad.

There was a jacket in one of the stores that was exactly the same her dad wore every day, except this one didn't have holes on it. Despite being rich, her family didn't like to waste perfectly good things, if the jacket was still good enough to keep them warm, they would keep it. Above the jacket, there was a scarf, black and dark blue that went perfectly along with the black jacket. She bought the scarf and a dark blue shirt and left the store.

Now the only thing that was missing was buying a gift for Anna.

Charlie new Anna's taste very well, she liked simple things; didn't wear much jewelry, liked plain shirts with simple saying in them. But she really liked bracelets, rounding the mall once more only to find that every store had either awful bracelets or ones Charlie new for sure Anna wouldn't like.

It was around store number 12 that Charlie gave up and went back to _Colt_.

The girl was still there, and she smiled brightly as Charlie entered the store.

"Hey! You're back!" She bounced in her seat and quickly got up. "What brings you here again?"

Charlie sighed, the girl had too much enthusiasm.

"I'm looking for a bracelet for my girlfriend."

If possible, the girl smiled even more.

"Oh my God! We have some very cool bracelets!" She chipped happily.

Charlie smiled, but didn't answer.

After looking at everything, she noticed a bracelet with a pentagram. It was one of those black leather bracelets with a metal pentagram on them. She was sure Anna would love it.

"I'll take this one!"

The girl seemed disappointed that Charlie was going to leave again, but kept talking happily and making Charlie promise to come back soon!

And so Charlie went home, her hands full of bags –except for the computer, that one would be delivered to her place, because there was no way in hell she was going to carry a laptop around with five more bags!

 

 


	33. Confirmation - Part 2

Going back home wasn’t an option. Dean stayed unconscious for a whole day, but when he woke up, the answer was clear: they had to stay put and avoid John, the madness was taking over him and it wasn’t safe for Sam to go back.

He groaned as he tried to sit in the bed, his eyes opened slowly as he searched the room. He noticed straight away he was in Castiel’s bedroom; he could see Cas sitting by his desk, his eyes trained on Dean.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, not looking away for a second.

Very slowly, the oldest Winchester managed to sit in the bed.

“Like shit.” He replied carefully. He wasn’t about to lie, but he didn’t remember much from the previous night. He knew that he woke up in the middle of the night because Castiel gave him some medicine to help with the pain, but he didn’t remember anything else.

“You should take another pill then.” Cas said softly.

Dean nodded and reached for the pill and the glass of water sitting in the night stand beside the bed, the whole motion made him groan and whimper in pain. Every muscle in his body hurt, and it wasn’t the good kind of pain, he knew he had more bruises than ever and that he must be looking terrible.

Cas got up and grabbed the glass and handed it to him. He sat on the edge of the bed and stared at Dean’s form.

“I wish I could help you.” He said softly.

Dean could hear the was Cas’s voice was soft, he could feel Cas’s wish to help and it made him feel weird; he didn’t know what it was about Cas, but when he voiced things in his mind like that… it made Dean want to tell him everything.

“I know… And I wish I could tell you.” He whispered back.

Dean’s eyes started getting heavy again and he struggled to stay awake.

“Go to sleep, Dean.” Cas sighed.

Dean didn’t have time to protest, as he was falling asleep almost three seconds after Cas was taking the glass away from his hands.

***

The next time he woke up, he was alone in the room. His hands started roaming over his body, searching for sports where he knew would be hurting the most. His stomach, his shoulder and his neck were the parts that hurt the most since they were the parts that got hit either with the belt or almost chocked to death.

Slowly, Dean trailed his hand up his body, following the path of pain, until he reached his own neck. His hand closed carefully around the bruised skin and Dean felt himself chocking up. He couldn’t make himself stop the tears that started rolling down his cheeks, as the feeling of John’s hands on his neck was still there.

‘ _If Cas saw me now… He would hate me._ ’ Dean thought to himself. ‘ _He would probably call me weak and scowl at me._ ’

The tears started flowing more easily, his own voice coming out in rasp breathes as he struggled to breathe and stop crying. The feeling of John’s hands around his neck wouldn’t leave him, so he didn’t dare taking his own hands from around his neck, as if they were making sure there was no-one chocking him to death.

Dean tried to breathe slowly, counting ten seconds before releasing his breath but he couldn’t. Nothing worked and his panic rose as he couldn’t catch his breathing. He tried to call Sam, his brother always helped him but his throat couldn’t form the words, he managed to get out a few strangled noises. His eyes couldn’t focus anything, everything looked blurry and his panic kept on rising.

The oldest Winchester was in such a bad state that he didn’t notice when two people entered the room running and sat in front of him.

Balthazar was the one who grabbed Dean’s arm first, not the one around Dean’s neck, but the other one; Castiel tentatively called Dean, trying to gain his attention even despite the chocked sounds he was making.

“Oh, Dean…” Cas whispered as he wrapped his hand around Dean’s wrist, pulling it away from his throat. As soon as it was away, Cas pulled Dean’s form towards his and hugged him close, making sure Dean felt the warm body around him. “Shhhh… It’s going to be alright.”

Balthazar shared a look with his brother, his hand still around Dean’s, making sure the younger teen wasn’t about to hurt himself or try to run away.

“Should I get his brother?” He asked.

Castiel pondered for a few seconds before shaking his head.

“You saw how distraught he was all night. Let him sleep for a while longer and not burden him about his brother’s current state.”

Dean slowly started to understand his surroundings, noticing there were more people in the room, and even more very close to himself. His body trembled and wobbled in every each way he could, trying to get himself away from the person grabbing him.

The moment he started to get rid of Castiel, was the moment Cas tightened his grasp, making sure Dean couldn’t get away until he was calm again.

“Everything will be alright.” Cas said in a soothing voice, his hands keeping the other teen from thrashing and running away.

It took a long time of not letting go, of being there, of soothing words… For Dean to calm down and start breathing better, the tears were still falling down his cheeks, but the panic was gone. The presence of the two brothers assured something inside Dean that he was alright and that he didn’t need to run away. No-one was going to hurt him.

Around half an hour after calming down, Castiel left the room to fetch more pain killers, leaving Dean with Balthazar for a few minutes.

“You look terrible.” Balthazar said.

Dean shrugged, looking away from him.

“Yeah well, I feel terrible… At least this way no-one is fooled.”

Balthazar was about to reply when Cas walked back inside the room.

When Cas walked inside, Balthazar got up and left. He felt like Dean would be more comfortable around Cas than himself, and he really did look terrible. Hanging out with Cas would do him some good.

Cas didn’t pressure Dean into speaking, too afraid of having the panic coming back so soon. The youngest Novak simply sat down beside Dean with his computer on his lap.

“So, is there anything you would like to watch?” He asked, intending to make Dean feel better at all costs.

Dean gulped, he debated with himself into speaking the truth, but ended up nodding.

“What do you want to watch then?”

Dean looked at the screen and saw Castiel starting his session on his computer, clicking on the browser and waiting for Dean to tell him what to search for.

“High School Musical.” He mumbled as he blushed.

Cas looked at him briefly before nodding.

“Alright then, let’s watch this.” He said with a soft smile.

Around half way through the movie, Dean rested his head on Cas’s shoulder and fell asleep.

***

A week later, Dean and Sam were still living with the Novaks, Dean was feeling a lot better and he was even going to work again. Bobby wasn’t happy with Dean’s ideas of going back to work, but there’s so much a person can do to stop Dean Winchester when he puts his mind in something.

It was Wednesday when the happy days ended.

Dean was working on a Mercedes Benz while talking to Sam, when the shouts were heard; a loud, slurred voice was yelling out for him and Dean gulped.

“DeAnNA! CoME HERE! RIGH’ FUCKIN’ NOOOW!” John demanded. A crash was heard and John’s frustrated screams where heard. “I FAILED LAST TIME, BUT I WON’ FAIL AGAINN!”

Bobby looked at Dean and Sam’s wide eyes before running outside.

***

“Come on, Gabe! Dean can check your car out! We’re like five minutes away from there!” Cas plead. “And I really hate that weird noise it’s making! Cars aren’t supposed to make this kind of noise!”

Gabe rolled his eyes.

“We don’t have time to go to the garage, baby bro! Balthy is waiting for us!”

“Ugh, since when do you care about arriving on time?”

A light laugh from Gabe could be heard through the sound of the motor of his car.

“Ok fine, you have a point… Let’s just get this over with!”

And so they ride to the garage, because really, that noise wasn’t normal! And Cas wasn’t about to die because the car had a problem!

***

“SHU’THE FUK’ UP!” John yelled, as he tried to hit Bobby.

“No.” Bobby stated calmly. His voice not showing all the panic and nervousness he was actually feeling. “Go away John, your sons don’t need you anymore. They’re fine with me.”

“NaHH. DEANNA WILL PAY FOR ALL DA SHIT SHE MADE MEH GO THROUGH!” John spat on Bobby’s shoes, his eyes red and his nose fuming with rage.

Bobby started to get slightly aggressive towards John, puffing his chest and shoving him away from the entry way to the shop.

“Calm the fuck down, John!” Bobby warned.

“I’M GONNA KILL HIM! NO SON OF MINE BEATS ME WITHOUT BEING PUNISHED!” And with that, John swings his fist and hits Bobby’s jaw.

***

“Should we park the car here or take it inside?” Cas asked, as they neared the garage.

“Meh, let’s leave it outside, if Dean has the time he’ll bring it inside, if not we come back later.” Gabe decided.

Cas nodded and took his seat belt off. They parked the car and got out, they walked side by side until they heard furious growls and shouts from inside the garage.

Gabriel was about to crack a joke when he saw Cas running towards the door. Quickly, Gabe ran after him, following suit in getting to the doorway without being noticed. The shouts grew louder and louder, until it was unmistakable: there was a fight inside the garage.

“IMMA GO KILL THAT LIL BI’CH!” John growled.

Bobby stepped between John and Dean again – who was standing in front of Sam as if trying to protect him – and kicked John’s stomach.

“You won’t do such thing. You’re not gonna hurt any of them ever again, ya hear me?”

A guttural growl was heard and John stepped forward.

“AS MUCH OF A USELESS PIECA SHI’ THAT HE-IS, HE’S MEH SON! AN’ I WILL KILL HIM!”

“OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT!” Bobby ordered, his voice raising with each word. “YOU WILL NEVER TOUCH ANY OF THEM AGAIN, YA HEAR ME? NEITHER OF THEM DESERVE A FATHER LIKE YA, JOHN WINCHESTER! NOW GET LOST BEFORE I CALL THE DAMN COPS!”

Gabriel’s eyes widen as he realizes what’s happening before them, the only thing he can do is grab his brother’s arm and start pulling him away from the garage, though Castiel refused to follow.

“IM NOT LEAVIN’!” John screamed as loud as he could.

With a threatening stance, Bobby walked towards John.

“If you ever lay a hand on either of them again I will kill you. SO YOU BETTER START GOING BEFORE I KILL NOW FOR ALL THE SHIT YOU PUT THOSE BOYS THROUGH ALL THEIR LIVES!”

John stumbled backwards, he muttered a few threats to himself and turned away.

The older Novak kept pulling and trying to take him away, but Cas wouldn’t move even an inch. He kept himself still, looking at the scene before his own eyes.

“THIS IS NOT OVER!” John yelled as he turned away from Bobby and walked away. “I’LL FUCKING KILL YA IN YOUR SLEEP DEAN.”

“Come on Cas, we have to leave!” Gabe whispered. “They can’t know we saw this!”

Only then, Castiel turned to his brother. He saw the pleading look in his brother’s eyes and he wondered what the hell was happening. Yes, he just figure who the hell hurt Dean in such an awful way. Yes, he had every intention to go after him and kill him. But he also knew he wouldn’t have much success if he simply ran after him now. He didn’t have a plan and he had every intention of spending the next few days –maybe even weeks!– on planning ways to hurt that son of a bitch. But he also had no control over his emotions.

“You and your brother are going to stay with me from now on.” Bobby announced as he turned to a set of bewildered Winchesters.

Cas was about to run after John Winchester when Gabe grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the scene, towards their car. Cas was fuming with rage and he didn’t completely noticed being pulled away until he was sitting in the car and Gabe was driving away as fast as he could.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long guys! :/ But I just really had a rough time with my first semester in college.  
> I'll try to update soon!  
> Hope you liked it! ^^
> 
>  
> 
> P.S. Thank you to [Maddie](http://a-constellation-of-bees.tumblr.com/) for proof reading and simply being amazing <3


	34. An ounce of progress

As they rode away from Singer’s Salvage Yard, Cas started to realize everything that happened and things started to make sense. Pieces of the puzzle started to join and soon he was getting ready to take off the seat belt, jump from the car and find John Winchester.

“Stop that.”

Cas looked away from the dashboard.

“Stop what?”

“Bro… I can see the wheels turning and I can read you like an open book, Cas.”

The younger Novak rolled his eyes, Gabe could be so dramatic.

 They rode in silence for a while before Cas spoke up again; “We have to do something to help them.”

“There’s nothing we can do, Cas. Dean and Sam have been dealing with this shit long enough, they don’t need us complicating things even more.”

As much as he wanted to calm his brother down, Gabe wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do. He knew he had to tell both parties what happened and he knew Cas wouldn’t be happy that he knew what was going on for more than a month now.

“That’s easy for you to say.” The muttered reply he got made Gabe sigh loudly. “You heard that man, he won’t stop until he kills them.”

“And what exactly do you plan on doing? That man is crazy, Cas! He will use everything in his power to hurt you and more so because you’re defending his son. Sam said he did-” Suddenly Gabe stopped talking. He had said too much.

Cas’s eyes shot right to him, Gabe could feel the fumes in the air.

“What do you mean _Sam said_ …” Cas sounded calm, but his expression showed all but calm.  “God dammit, Gabe! You were supposed to tell me what was happening, how could we help if you never told me?”

The car fell silent as Gabriel mentally cursed himself, hating the fact that he had stepped on his own promise. The silence lasted about three minutes, before he thought _What the hell_ and started talking.

“Promise me you won’t do anything alone, both brothers warned me against their father a long time ago, so you have to promise-” Castiel nodded, “Okay good. So here’s what I know…” And so he started, telling the tale of the Winchesters, recalling the moments spent with either brother as they vented about their awful life. Carefully, he left out the details of his newfound relationship, unsure if Sam would like Cas to know or if his boyfriend would rather tell everyone himself.

Cas couldn’t speak, his mouth felt dry and his mind was in a general state of confusion. There was too much on his mind, and he could hardly think straight. Suddenly, his feelings started to come back at him. He felt anger, against Gabriel, Sam and Dean for not telling him, but most of all… He felt furious with John Winchester, and he didn’t know what to do with the information he just got.

Luckily for Gabriel, they reached the meeting point and saw their brother waving a few feet away, Gabe parked the car and they walked towards their brother.

Neither of them spoke about that matter until a long while later.

* * *

“Everything is going to be alright, Dean.” Bobby said, his right hand ruffling Dean’s hair.

Dean hadn’t said a thing since John left, he was stuck in the moment, not one hundred percent sure John was gone. After a life of not trusting John Winchester and making sure he won’t hurt his little brother, Dean doesn’t know what a moment of peace is, he’s always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Once Bobby laid a hand on his shoulder, Dean finally snapped out of it. His eyes searched Bobby’s, looking for the truth, he sighed when he found it.

“Thank you for keeping us safe, Bobby.” Dean mumbled, not exactly sure what he would be doing next.

Bobby nodded.

“Don’t mention it kid, or I’ll slap myself for not getting you out of that place ages ago.” Most of the time, Bobby blamed himself for not doing more than helping Dean get money or helping him get his wounds better.

Dean wanted to assure Bobby it wasn’t his fault, Bobby helped him more than anyone else. It was thanks to Bobby that both he and his brother were still alive, but Dean was unable to voice his thoughts.

“You said something about staying with you…” Sam said from the other side of the room. He was walking out of the bathroom, mostly because he felt sick after that moment with their father, his face still dripping a bit of water that he splashed onto his face. “We’re staying with a few friends, so you don’t have to take care of-”

“Don’t be an idiot, Sam Winchester. You can stay with your friends for as long as you want, but you will have a home in here whenever you want it.” Bobby cut in, his face dead serious. “You can bring your things whenever you please and I’ll help ya get settled, I’ll even buy ya whatever ya need here.”

Dean finally looked at his surrogate uncle.

“Thank you, for everything.” His voice was full of sentiment and he wasn’t exactly sure how he wasn’t crying yet, so he simply grabbed Bobby and pulled him into a hug.

For a few seconds, Bobby wasn’t sure what he should do, he seldom got hugs, but he ended up squeezing Dean and patting him below his shoulder blades.

“Anything for you boys.” Bobby replied in his ruff voice. “C’mere Sam.” His face did the _come-on_ motion and Sam hurried to them. “We’re gonna be a family. I’m gonna fight for you guys in court.”

Neither of them spoke for a long while, they simply kept on the physical contact in order to sooth each other.

They only let go when Dean released them.

* * *

Later that night, Cas couldn’t bring himself to rest, Dean was sleeping in his room and Sam in Gabriel’s room. He had no idea how they could sleep after what happened, but he sure has hell helped Dean feel safe and good before sleeping.

Now that it was his turn to sleep, though, he couldn’t find the peace of mind to do so.

It took him a whole of two seconds before making up his mind, five minutes to get ready and one to be outside. He started walking, away from his problems, only they never seemed to let go of him.

So many conversations between him and Dean, so many moments shared in which he could have done something… And he never realized where the actual problem was. He had his suspicions, but what were those against the truth?

His mind was blown with everything, he had no idea where he was until he tripped on the sidewalk. His head shifted and it allowed him to see he was in the park. Sighing, he jumped the barriers and sat on the swings, he allowed his mind to get lost once more, questions surfacing and getting lost as quickly as they arrived.

“We can’t do much for them, you know.” The voice startled Castiel and he looked up abruptly.

“Gabe.” He stated.

“I guess you couldn’t sleep either.” His brother replied nonchalantly, sitting on the swing beside him. “There’s too much on my mind, I knew it was bad… But I never thought it was _that_ bad. Can you imagine if it were us? Dad being that aggressive and trying to kill either one of us or Balthy?”

Facing the situation always made the Novaks wonder what they were doing, making them question their beliefs and bringing them new opinions. This one was proving to be harder than either of them hoped.

Gabriel fell silent, his mind turning every which way whilst he remembered Sam feeling so scared and how a simple hug had calmed him down; and Dean’s strange reactions whenever they mentioned the situation. His train of thought got lost as Castiel started talking.

“I can’t believe I never thought it could be their father. It was all obvious now that I think of it…” Every single thought in Castiel’s head was focused on figuring a way to make sure both Winchesters will ever get hurt again and also how he missed every clue Dean laid down in front of him. “He kept getting these wounds outside of school and he just kept trying to push it away, of course it had to be his father.”

“There’s nothing we can do, bro.” Gabe said, trying to sound reassuring. “And besides that, you heard Mr. Singer as well as I did, he’ll look after them.”

Cas nodded. He knew that, but he still had a feeling in his gut that made him want to find John Winchester and beat him to death.

“Dean was always so afraid, but that’s not all I saw, you know…” As Castiel started to talk about it all, his thoughts started to gather, getting into similar branches as they grouped themselves. “I saw the strength in him. I wish I had- I wish I could have stopped this problem a long time ago. No one should live in fear like they do.”

Memories of Dean Winchester, either laughing or crying, the broken mess he found in his bed not so long ago or even the shy smiles he kept throwing at him… It was all a bit too much for him to process.

“What are we gonna do now, Gabe?” Cas asked, unsure of what the future would bring them.

Gabriel had been thinking the exact same thing, they had to do something.

“I say we get Balthy’s ass down here because he should use that brain of his on something productive for once.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

Cas reached for his phone and dialed his brother’s number.

“Cas, honey, we live in the same house, there’s no need to call my phone-” Balthazar answered after only two rings, his voice was thick with sleep.

“Balthazar.” Cas called, hoping to get his brother to shut up. “Me and Gabe aren’t home. We need to talk- we need you.”

“Are you in jail?” From what could be heard on the other side of the line, Balthazar was rushing, putting his clothes on and waking up. “Because I can’t get yo-”

Gabe forced a laugh out.

“Nah bro, we’re not in jail. We’re at the park.”

“And we gotta speak to you, so get your ass down here, we’re waiting for you in the swings.” Cas asked, his voice on the verge of ordering. “Please Balthy,” his voice softened down.

Balthazar sighed and replied “On my way,” before hanging up.

 They didn’t speak until Balthazar walked up to them.

“What’s up bros?” Balthazar asked with a smile that died as soon as he saw their worried faces. “Geez, who died?”

“No one.” Cas replied. “But we gotta tell you something important, so sit tight and don’t interrupt until we’re done.”

Balthazar sat on the bench near the swings and listened carefully to his brothers. There was so much information to process; he didn’t even know which piece of information was the most important.

“So, now what?” His voice sounded as dull as his brother’s had sounded.

Neither of them replied, as neither of them knew the answer.

The silence between them led to a tension that didn’t stop increasing until Castiel spoke again.

“We should be doing something about it, instead of pretending there isn’t a problem.”

Thinking about what do to now was hard, but Castiel was sure they would find some way to give John the pay back he needed. They just needed to think of something.

“We’re not pretending there isn’t a problem… We simply can’t change the past, Cas.” Balthazar said, trying to get both of his brothers to feel better.

Balthazar knew that he would be the one who would have to keep them together, keep their heads straight, so he placed one hand on each of his brother’s shoulders.

 “But we sure as hell can change the future.” Cas replied, forcing himself to smile at his eldest brother. “We’ll find a way to avenge them and we’ll keep them safe.”

Gabriel smiled lightly. Neither of them moved from the swing, they stayed there, scheming and worrying about what will happen next.

“Yeah, we’ll be their knights in shiny armor.” Even in dark situations, Gabriel managed to force a joke out and make everyone chuckle lightly as they kept on planning.

* * *

They started with buying a closet. The one Bobby had was too old and actually broke the first time they opened it.

They only had one bed in the room but since they were staying with the Novaks, they had time to worry about that some other time (and it’s not like they never had to share a bed anyway).

Soon after getting the closet up against the wall, the Winchesters and their uncle got out to shop for a few clothes. Bobby sure as hell was going to give them as much as he could, clothes included because Dean only had old clothes and Sam grew too fast.

“Do we really have to do this?” Dean asked as Bobby shoved him clothes into his arms.

“Yeah.” Both Bobby and Sam replied. Reasoning with Dean to get him new clothes had been difficult, and in the end he only agreed because Bobby promised to give Sam more than to him.

They send Dean into a changing room and wait for him to come outside. The clothes fit like a glove, he only managed to agree to a pair of trousers, three shirts and two button ups so it didn’t take long before it was Sam’s turn.

Shopping went by fast, they even managed to get Bobby to try a few clothes but he ended up not buying anything for himself. And before any of them could noticed it, they were all back at home, storing their new things in their new room.

 

* * *

Dean and Sam kept going to the Novak’s house every day after Dean’s work, just like nothing happened; and as much as Castiel appreciated it, he wasn’t sure why they weren’t staying with Bobby after what he said.

Cas didn’t ask. He still wasn’t sure he should talk about what he saw, much less think about having both boys leave his place. Whenever Castiel was around, he could protect them; but if they were gone, he couldn’t make sure that bastard wasn’t going to hurt them.

One evening after dinner, Cas called for Dean, he asked him to go to his room and a second after, Dean nodded.

They walked up the stairs and went to Castiel’s room.

“I have two things to say,” Castiel started, “firstly I want to give one more chance to tell me who hurts you.” He waited for a long while, Dean didn’t do anything but flinch whenever Cas inched closer.

“I can’t.” Dean said, voice hoarse.

Castiel nodded, he understood it now.

“Okay. Then all I want you to know is that I won’t ask anymore.” He breathed out slowly. “If you want to get some pay back though, I’m happy to help. And don’t worry, I’ll keep you safe.”

Dean looked away from him, Castiel placed his left arm around the other boy’s shoulders and pulled him close.

“I know, Cas.” He whispered and let his head fall to Cas’s shoulder.

Even though Dean didn’t understand what lead to Cas’s sudden change of heart, he was grateful it happened. He wasn’t entirely sure he could hold up without breaking into a fit of tears if Cas kept asking him about it all.

“However you wish, I’ll be around and if you need me, you know where to find me.” He said slowly. He let go of Dean’s back and gave him a wicked smile. “Now, how about we let them clean the kitchen while we watch High School Musical 2?”

Dean smiled softly and half sat in Cas’s bed, he got comfortable in it and thought about how he would have to leave this peaceful place to Bobby’s house soon enough. For now though, he was content with laying his head on Castiel’s chest and falling asleep as Chad and Ryan sang about dancing and swinging.

* * *

Dean and Sam moved to Bobby’s house officially on Friday. They grabbed all the little things they have and simply made their new room  _theirs_ .

They had a bit of trouble to get Castiel to agree to them leaving the house, he simply said that Dean wasn’t safe whenever he wasn’t around, but Sam and Dean made him puppy eyes and Cas was forced to look the other way and sigh, finally letting them go.

Dean was torn between being scared of his father and sad to move out of the Novaks. The feeling of being scared had always been with him, there wasn’t a moment in time that he remembered not being scared, and now that he found a way out, he felt sad to leave the little piece of heaven he had found.

It wasn’t like he would never see Castiel again, they were still going to school together so every week day would be spent together, he would always have a chance to figure out what was going on on Castiel’s head anytime he put himself up to it.

The feeling of letting go, that was what troubled Dean the most, he could see his brother was struggling as well, letting go of the very few friends they had that welcomed them in such a hard time. No matter what, Dean would always be grateful to the Novak brothers and he knew Sam felt the exact same.

* * *

Sam felt sad, most days of living with John Winchester were spent worrying for his brother, but those days were gone, now he felt sad to have to stay away from his boyfriend. Gabriel had been helping him for the longest time and now he had to get away from him.

He knew it was for the best, Gabe would still be there and Bobby would probably let them visit the Novaks as much as they wanted, but there was also the fact that Sam was starting to get used to falling asleep beside his boyfriend.

The youngest Winchester didn’t say anything though, he hugged Gabriel and kissed his cheek as they left to go live with Bobby.

“I’ll see you soon.” Sam said, a light smile on his face.

Gabriel hugged him tight and only let go after what felt like a second, it all seemed to be passing too fast when it came to staying away from Gabe. Sam sighed and walked out of Gabriel’s room to go with Dean.

They walked in silence, too many feelings and thoughts crossing both brothers until they got to their new home.

“This is it.” Dean said, looking at his brother. “It’s the start of something new.”

Sam rolled his eyes and scoffed.

“You really have been watching too much High School Musical, man.”

Dean smiled brightly at him.

“There’s no such thing as _too much High School Musical_ , Sammy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's taking me ages to post chapters, but I stopped watching Supernatural so I had a bit of a hard time writing Destiel stories ;;n;;   
> anyway, thank you Maddie for helping me with this chapter and I hope everyone likes it ^^


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